


Can't say goodbye. Still drifting in your echoes.

by runningfromrealitytoanime



Series: OsaSuna fics [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Doctor Atsumu, F/M, Happy Ending?, M/M, Supernatural - Freeform, based off a drama series, editor and writer Suna, farmer/priest Shinsuke, love under the cherry blossoms, teenage angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 44,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningfromrealitytoanime/pseuds/runningfromrealitytoanime
Summary: Suna Rintarou finds himself back in Hyogo after tragedy struck him and his small group of friends seven years ago. Now a writer for a sports magazine and suffering from a breakup, Suna finds himself standing underneath the cherry blossoms, trying to keep a promise that can never be kept when he sees Miya Osamu standing under the tree.The only problem is, Osamu was still 17, the age as when he died seven years ago in an accident.Will fate finally allow the two to realise their feelings for each other or will these boys never find the happiness they desired all those years ago?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Series: OsaSuna fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771042
Comments: 22
Kudos: 148
Collections: OsaSuna Week 2020, SunaOsa





	1. The promise under the cherry blossoms

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my contribution to OsaSuna Week. Won't really be following the order of the prompts but you will definitely see some of them being in here; mostly being Prompt 1: Past/ Future and onigiri.
> 
> I love angst and after watching Boku dake ga 17-sai no sekai de (I am still seventeen years old), a super awesome drama where Akaashi's stage actor is actually acting in, I just wanted to write something about that universe. It was one of the few dramas that almost made me cry. It really broke my heart watching it and seeing just how people's lives can change if one of them dies and how their friend group took so long to come back together. It's super awesome so check it out!
> 
> This story is kinda based on it, although I will be changing some bits here and there to suit the characters more. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The sound of the crowd cheering for the team filled the stadium as Suna sat at the edge of his seat. His notepad was in his hand, although his pen did little to take note of what was going on underneath. The players moved across the court at wicked speed, the spikers coming up to spike the balls onto the court to thunderous applause. The sound of the ball slamming onto the polished wood brought nostalgia through Suna’s chest, his heart clenching as he watched one of the spikers running towards the ball, the setter calling out his name as he yelled, “Bokuto!”

“Hey hey hey!” Bokuto screamed as he leapt into the air, propelling his body towards the next with a whoosh. The sound of his shoes squeaking against the floor made Suna want to block his ears, the memory of his own shoes moving across the court for a block as Bokuto gave a grin, his right arm swinging forward to hit the ball onto the other side of the court, blowing the blockers away as he yelled in triumph. Suna had to stop himself from imagining a grey-haired boy doing the same thing, his eyes trained on the ball as he slammed the ball onto the court. The number 11 glinted on his back, his black uniform very similar to that of the Black Jackals uniform that Bokuto belonged to, only that Bokuto had golden lining along the side of his jersey.

The sound of the whistle blowing filled the air as Bokuto let out a yell, his team surging to raise him into the air. The Black Jackals team roared as they celebrated, the cheerleaders screaming Bokuto’s name as the man pumped his fist into the air. Suna bit his lip as he remembered the time a certain someone would be raised into the air or tackled to the ground with his team, Suna’s hand reaching to ruffle his head as the boy smiled. Suna would do anything to see that smile once more on the court, although the very thought of being on the court right now made his stomach turn.

“Suna-san, have you managed to get all the notes?” a voice asked as Akaashi Keiji, Suna’s co-worker from the publishing company he worked at asked. Although the two of them were in different departments, Suna being in the sports magazine section while Akaashi dealt with shoujo manga (the man never struck him as one to actually like manga but Akaashi assured him that it was all a mistake and that he will be in the literature in due time), they often went for volleyball games together that involved the Black Jackals. The main reason often being that Suna would be tasked to go watch and report their games and Akaashi needed a reason to tag along with a free pass to watch them. Suna could see Akaashi already reaching to bend down against the railing as a loud shout rang across the stadium, Bokuto running towards their direction as he yelled, “Hey hey hey, Akaashi!”

“Please don’t embarrass me to death, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi moaned as Suna chuckled. The man hated to be called out by his boyfriend every single time during a match. The editor hated being in the centre of attention, the complete opposite of his lover which was a miracle in how they managed to get together at all. Suna had heard of Bokuto from his volleyball days, Akaashi being the mysterious setter who manages to pull the man back from his mood swings easily. Suna admired Akaashi for being one of the reasons their team had managed to win nationals in Bokuto’s final year; he sure had a hell of a time having to deal with Atsumu’s own mood swings which weren’t even as bad as Bokuto’s.

“Akaashi! Come down here! I have something to tell you!” Bokuto yelled as he bounced on the balls of his feet. When Akaashi failed to move quickly enough, the man did the craziest thing and leapt up onto the bleachers, startling some of the fans as he climbed over. Akaashi gaped at him, yelling at how dangerous it was if he ever broke an ankle as Bokuto fell onto one knee, his golden eyes shining as he whipped out a box from his pocket.

“I would break any limb for you Akaashi and you know that. You’ve been with me through hell and back and been by my side ever since we met in high school. I want you to be even closer now so if you will… Akaashi Keiji, will you marry me?” Bokuto cried out as the crowd cheered, the cheerleaders playing a happy tune in the background. Akaashi was already tearing up as Bokuto got to his feet, the former setter sobbing as he nodded.

“Yes, you damned owl. Yes,” Akaashi whispered as Bokuto gave a literal hoot of joy, wrapping the small band around his finger as Akaashi barrelled into him and nearly knocking him off the railing. Bokuto was smiling so hard as he kissed his now fiancé, the cameras capturing the moment for the next volleyball magazines while the Black Jackals applauded below. Heck, even the opposing team, the EJP Paper Raijins were joining in, some of them laughing and cheering as Bokuto swept Akaashi in his arms.

_As he watched the moment unfurl before him, Suna was met with the memory of him sitting at his desk in high school, the air starting to get a little warmer outside. The season for volleyball had just ended with them losing and having to go home, Suna wishing he could stay out of school for a while longer as he watched the season slowly change into spring. Soon, he would have to make a decision on what to do with his future, although he already knew what he was going to do. He was going to train hard and get onto a V League volleyball team and play as a middle blocker. He didn’t care if he would have to deal with someone like Atsumu or Bokuto in an opposing team in the future; he was going to block them with all his might._

_A shadow fell over his desk as Miya Osamu smiled down at him. The twin was in the same class as him and his younger annoying brother, Miya Atsumu. While Atsumu was often the centre of attention being the team setter and good looking (according to Atsumu’s own words which didn’t make sense to Suna since he had always thought Osamu looked better. And they even had identical faces!), Osamu would blend into the background, often spending time gossiping with Suna about how stupid Atsumu looked trying to please the ladies when he already had his eyes set on someone._

_“Come on, that idiot should make a move on already before he regrets it. I don’t even know if he will be sticking around in Hyogo once he graduates with him wanting to go pro,” Suna muttered as Osamu nodded, “Agreed. No matter how many times I told him to try and even confess to Kita-san, he keeps saying he needs the right moment.”_

_“As if that’s gonna happen any time soon,” Suna muttered as Osamu grinned. Suna felt his insides turned to mush watching Osamu smile. The twin didn’t give off the crazy energy his twin had, which often left Suna feeling super tired. Osamu always helped him calm down after a particularly hard session or if he was having a hard time. The reason why he had gotten so good at blocking was due to Osamu practising hitting very hard spikes at him until his fingers bled._

_“Say, Suna. If you’re free after this, can you meet me under the cherry blossom tree near the school?” Osamu asked as Suna’s eyes widened, “Eh, that’s a random request.”_

_“Shut it idiot and just do it dammit!” Osamu groaned as Suna’s heart hammered against his chest. That cherry tree had a special meaning to the tiny town they lived in, Suna having heard about it when he moved from Tokyo from a couple of girls gossiping in class. Legend has it that if you were to confess to the one you loved underneath the cherry blossoms, your love will remain forever and you two will be a happy couple. Suna never really believed in these sorts of superstitions but he couldn’t help but wish for just one tiny moment that it was the case._

_“Fine. See you at 5?”_

_“Deal.”_

_Suna tried to hide his burning face behind his book as Osamu walked away to grab his brother into a chokehold, grumbling at how much noise he was making as Atsumu tried to club him over the head. Suna couldn’t help but smile like a madman at the thought, his hands shaking as he thought with excitement on what was going to happen next._

“Hello? Anyone home?” a voice called as someone knocked a newspaper against his head. Suna jerked out of his thoughts as he realised his manager had been speaking to him the entire time, a slight scowl on his face as he knocked the newspaper against his skull one more time.

“Sheesh, you’ve been staring into space for the past half hour or so. Terushima legit thought you were going to actually swallow a fly that buzzes into your mouth at this rate.”

“Sorry, Iwaizumi-san.”

“I know you had a long match but you need this article in by the end of the day so please get it done,” Iwaizumi sighed as he walked away. Suna grunted internally as he got back to work, typing at the empty document he had opened ever since he got back from the match. Heck, he didn’t even know how he got back to the office, everything in between had been a blur of him just wanting to get away from the happy couple.

He stayed in the office until it was very late once more, dragging his legs back to his flat to find it trashed. He groaned as he stepped into the flat, muttering that he was home as his girlfriend staggered out of the bathroom, a tight red dress hugging her body as she scowled, “Rintarou, you’re late!”

“Sorry, I had work…”

“Do you know what day it is?!” she snapped as Suna growled, “Please, Yuki. Don’t shout now. I had a very long day…”

A slap rang out across the room as Suna clutched his cheek, his girlfriend beginning to sob as she yelled, “It was our anniversary dummy!”

Oh right, Suna hadn’t even bothered to remember something like that. He had been too busy to remember such dates, he didn’t even know why he was still doing this…

“You don’t even act like you’re in love with me! You keep spacing out whenever I speak to you or when we sleep together! You never seem to get into the mood for me or even bother to check if I’m alive! What's the point of dating if you don’t even want to be with me?! Am I just a replacement for someone?!” Yuki yelled as Suna hung his head. God, his head hurt from her shouting, her yelling only intensifying as she snapped, “You know what? I had it! We’re through. I don’t even know why I put up with you all this while.”

She snatched up her bag, stomping out of the flat and slamming the door behind her to make the walls shake. Suna stood in the genkan for a minute, not moving for a while before finally stepping into the flat. His body felt tired as he crashed onto his bed, curling into the sheet without even bothering to take a shower as he curled into himself, wishing he could just disappear as he let himself cry to sleep.

…

“Man, you look like shit,’ Iwaizumi commented as Suna took his place behind his desk. The man hadn’t had much sleep the previous night, dreams of Osamu plaguing his mind as he tried to wipe any memory of him. With the day approaching with each passing week, Suna was getting even more restless and agitated than ever, his brain reacting to whenever he saw a person with grey hair and stormy grey eyes. Heck, the only reason he stuck with his ex was so he could actually imagine himself kissing Osamu senseless.

“I broke up.”

“Again? How long did this last?”

“A month?”

“Sheesh, that’s quick. You don’t seem to have any luck with the ladies.” Suna had nothing to say as he buried his face into his hands. He was close to breaking from having to go through yet another breakup. His work was getting worse; every game he went to had him nearly going through a panic attack. He thought those had stopped ever since he managed to get medicine to calm himself down but every time he saw a player that resembles Osamu, it made his brain go haywire, his body fidgeting and his heart pumping too much blood through his system. Just thinking about the volleyball game from the previous day made his head hurt.

“Say, you’ve haven’t taken any off days for ages. We don’t have much work anyways since the V League season is over so why don’t you have a vacation?” Iwaizumi asked as Suna muttered, “No, I don’t need to.”

“Suna. I don’t want to see my colleague looking like he’s been through hell and back every single day of the year. I’ve known you for about two years now and you’re a hard worker and knowledgeable in volleyball. It just hurts me to see you looking so miserable every time you had to go to a game.” A piece of paper fluttered onto the table as Suna squinted his eyes, making it out to be a bullet train ticket bound for Hyogo as Iwaizumi chopped him on the head.

“No excuses. Back your bags and go. If I find out that you didn’t board the train and believe me, I can track you down, you’re going to be on the receiving end of my fist,” Iwaizumi warned as Suna gulped. He had seen Oikawa Tooru, volleyball setter star of the national team being the very victim to that fist on national television when he tried to hug his lover in front of the cameras after a game. That had been the talk of the town for a month with Iwaizumi and Oikawa having to come out about their relationship to the press. Oikawa didn’t care though, given that now that everyone knew about his relationship, he could just be open on what he did.

The next day, Suna found himself stepping onto the platform of the small Hyogo train station. The chill March air made him hug his coat against his body, the tiny suitcase in his hands holding the few meagre belongings he had. He sighed as he began the trek into the small town, not wanting to waste money on a taxi fare as he took in the sights of the town.

Everything looked the same at it did in the past; the same dango store the volleyball team frequented still stood strong, Suna stopping by for some as the owner caught up with him. Suna received a few free dango as he made his way deeper into the town, catching sight of old faces that barely recognised him. Suna had indeed changed over the years, he thought; maybe he got taller and his poker face just looked even worse.

Somehow, Suna found himself walking towards the direction of Inarizaki High. By the time he arrived, school was out, students streaming out of the building in droves. Some of them pushed bikes, getting onto them as they rode them down the hill. Suna marvelled at how the uniform had changed over the years, the blazer now a bit different from what he wore in his youth. His breath hitched when he recognised the volleyball team doing their usual warm ups, the team running out of the school to do the small circuit around the area before heading in for stretches. Suna used to hate doing those, wishing he could die rather than having to jog up the infernal hill on the way back. Atsumu and Osamu would often have so much energy despite being the ones to run the fastest, Kita often shouting for them to slow down as they barrelled up the hill.

Suna slowly turned away from the school building, his legs moving down the hill before taking a few turns. The path he was taking was familiar, his body moving on autopilot as he walked down the path. Light pink petals flew past him as he approached the cherry blossom tree, the tree a mirage of pink flowers. Suna would have marvelled at the sight if he was younger, thinking of how beautiful it looked like as he stepped towards it.

He dropped his bag onto the ground as he sat against the tree, his hand running along the bark as he closed his eyes. The smell of the flowers and the air of the town brought some peace to his heart. When he first came to Hogyo, he hated the fact that it was pretty much dead compared to the busy life he had led in Tokyo but now, being here reminded him of the precious memories he had made with his volleyball team and friends.

If things had gone to plan… maybe things would be so different now.

“What am I doing?” Suna breathed as he opened his eyes to gaze at the cherry blossoms above him. The branches swayed in the breeze, the wind picking up as Suna brought his hand up to shield himself from incoming flowers. A bunch swirled around him as he coughed, trying to bat them away as he got to his feet, holding onto the tree for support when he heard a voice call out, “Hey Suna. You made it.”

Suna’s eyes widened as the cherry blossoms cleared from his sight, his heart nearly stopping as he stared at the boy standing in front of him, clad in the team uniform and jersey of the Inarizaki High School volleyball team. His usual smirk rested on his lips, his stormy grey eyes smiling as he tucked his hands in his pockets. Suna could already feel the tears coming to his eyes as his hands flew to his mouth, the first of his tears falling down his face as he whispered, “Osamu?”


	2. Past and present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did some editing for this chapter so here is it! Just realised that the title for this story was actually taken from Given, thought it suited it really well so here it is!
> 
> Trying to distract myself from my future arghhh!!!! I swear applying for Masters is killing me!!! Just tell me the results already!!! (just gonna drown myself in angsty fanfics for now).
> 
> Enjoy!

_Suna hummed to himself as he waited underneath the tree, the smile on his face wide despite the fact that he was feeling very cold. His Inarizaki jacket did little to keep him from staying warm but he didn’t care; he wanted to wear the uniform that had brought him to Osamu in the first place so damned or be damned if he will freeze to death. The cherry blossoms waved in the air on their branches, the smell of the evening Hogyo air reaching Suna’s nose as he sighed. This was the perfect weather for a confession to take place._

_He impatiently kept looking at his watch, the time towards the meeting time getting closer. His heart raced whenever he thought about how things were going to turn out. Across the years, he hadn’t seen Osamu with anyone but knowing the boy, he could have a secret admirer somewhere or maybe even a couple of girls flocking over him. There was no surprise that the Miya twins often had hordes of fans at their games screaming their names; Suna wished he could be one of the fans squealing out there. Him being a guy wouldn’t look right when screaming Osamu’s name._

_Five o clock came soon after and Suna’s nerves were tingling so much he could barely stand still. His brain was about to shortcircuit when he ran various scenarios in his head, half of them being Osamu confessing to him and them finally going out. The other half revolved around Osamu not coming at all, ditching him or maybe showing up with a girl or another guy as his lover, making Suna crumble to the ground. Suna quickly shook those thoughts out of his head, biting his lip as he steadied himself. Osamu might just be held up by something in class or maybe Atsumu was just doing something stupid with him once more._

_Ten minutes passed. Twenty minutes passed. Soon, the sky began to turn orange and pink above Suna’s head, the sun setting slowly in the horizon as Suna shivered. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to stop the tears from prickling in his eyes as he finally left the spot he had been standing in for almost two hours._

_Osamu never did come that day._

_The walk back to his home was filled with sniffles and sobbing. Suna was glad the mountain path he took back to his house was isolated so no one could see him looking like an emotional wreck. His eyes were red from crying and hiking up the scarf wrapped around his neck did little to hide the tear tracks. He hoped his folks wouldn’t be home to catch him in such a state; they would embarrass him to death if they started asking him questions about his love life._

_As he approached the bend, the sound of the rushing water in the river below was mix with the sounds of sirens wailing in the air. Suna hugged his bag against his chest, his breath coming out in paths as he heard some shouts coming from around the corner, his heart slamming against his chest as he heard a scream piercing the air._

_“Samu! Please, save my brother! Please!” Atsumu’s voice cried out as a man shouted, “Get back young man!”  
  
_

_“Don’t you dare do that to him! he’s still alive! Don’t treat him like he’s dead!”_

_“I’m sorry sir but if you could please move.”_

_  
Don’t you dare! He’s my twin! My older brother! Let me pass!” Suna’s pace quickened as he ran towards the sound of the commotion, his fingers shaking as he was met with the sight of ambulances crowding around the road. Atsumu was being held back by a police officer, the man trying to hold him back as he fought. Tears ran from his eyes as he shouted for his twin, his hand reaching out to a stretcher that was being wheeled into the ambulance. Suna’s heart dropped when he saw a white cloth had been draped across the body, shielding the person from view, although Suna didn’t have to be a genius to know who it was._

_A thuft of grey hair was visible from the cloth, a schoolbag sitting next to the body. A small charm of the Tokyo Tower dangled from the side, a charm Suna sported on his own bag as he gripped his own charm._

“Eh? Why didn’t you get one for me?!” Atsumu whined as Suna pushed the setter’s face out of his own.

“You don’t need one. You’re too lame.”

“Suna! So mean! Come on, Samu! Knock some sense into him!”

“He’s got a point, Tsumu. You’re lame,” Osamu grinned as Atsumu yelled, grabbing onto his brother’s collar to shove him into the desk playfully. Their teacher shouted for the two of them to stop their ruckus, their classmates laughing as the two twins pretend fought, Suna face palming himself at the sight. He had bought the charms out of a whim; while Osamu had gone to Tokyo for nationals many times, the boy had miserably failed to go sightseeing considering they were often slated to play for most of the day. 

_“One day, we’ll go to the Tokyo Tower together, neh?”_

_Suna found himself pushing past the small crowd that had gathered around the site, his voice running ragged as he tried to shout out. Osamu’s name stuck to his throat as he reached the barrier, pushing past the police officers and medics as he tried to claw his way through._

_How could this happen? He was only 17 years old._

_Miya Osamu couldn’t be dead._

_He couldn’t!_

_“Osamu!”_

_“Please stand back young man! It could be dangerous!”_

_“Dangerous my ass! He’s my friend! Please, just let me go to him one more time!” Suna pleaded as he felt his knees buckle. His body collapsed from exhaustion as he sobbed, his voice calling out to Osamu even as he was placed in the ambulance and the doors slammed shut behind him. Suna didn’t budge even as the ambulance pulled out and raced towards the hospital, the only thing filling his mind was guilt and regret._

_If he hadn’t gone and meet him, Osamu would still be alive._

_If he hadn’t said yes, Osamu wouldn’t have taken this path._

_If it weren’t for him, Osamu would still be alive._

_It was his fault that Osamu died._

_All his fault._

“Hey, Suna. You looked like you’ve seen a ghost.”

_Of course. You’re dead. You’re a ghost. I saw your body getting cremated and your ashes laid to rest._

“Eh, is it just me or do you have a bit of a beard? Dude, why do you have a beard?! You’re not an old man yet!” Osamu yelped as Suna’s fingers clenched against his sides. This has to be a bad joke, there was no way Osamu was alive. He hadn’t even been standing in front of him before that. He must be going crazy after all the shit that happened to him.

He felt a light sting on his cheek as Osamu gave a tiny tap, the boy bringing his hand to press against his forehead. Stormy grey eyes darkened as he pressed his forehead against Suna’s, their breaths mingling enough for Suna to reach out and kiss him as Osamu muttered, “Eh, you seem fine. Maybe volleyball practise took a bit out of you today?”

The boy stumbled as Suna shoved his way past, his body trying to get away from Osamu as fast as he could. He snatched up his bag as he ran for his life, his heart pounding against this chest as Osamu yelled for him to come back. he didn’t dare look back in case this was all just a dream, his mind wandering as his body ran down the road. He didn’t even know where he was going but all he knew was that he needed to get away from Osamu.

He looked just like he had seven years ago.

He couldn’t be alive.

There was no way he could be alive now!

…

“Did I do something wrong? I’m not even that late!” Osamu muttered as he kicked the stones on the path. Shit, he was cold, now regretting wearing the Inarizaki team jacket out into the cold. He hadn’t even bothered wearing a scarf since he thought it would clash with his outfit, his neck now feeling the chill biting into his skin as he cursed himself for being an idiot. He hugged himself as he made the trek back to school, wondering if Suna had ran back there to try and explain himself.

Suna looked very different, he thought. Heck, he looked like he had aged seven years the last time they met. He even had a bit of stubble on his chin and Osamu was very sure, despite him being a major idiot, that there was no way someone could grow a beard within a few hours.

Osamu made his way into the school compound, quickly slipping out of his shoes and making his way into the building. The place was quiet, most of the students have already gone home for the day. Osamu’s footsteps echoed across the hall as he made his way to class, wondering if he had left his bag in there, which would be stupid since he had been planning to go home straight after confessing to Suna.

Oh, how awesome that had turned out to be. Suna had run away at the sight of him, even crying as he ran off. Osamu didn’t think that Suna would be that freaked out about him confessing or whatever; heck, he couldn’t even have known that he was going to confess to him that day.

The door rattled open as he pushed the door to the side, moving towards his desk when he realised that it looked much different than he had seen it last time. Clothes were strewn across the top, a uniform draped haphazardly on top as Osamu scowled. Shit, he hated it when some of his classmates, namely his twin did stuff like that. He was all about order and cleanliness, his hands automatically moving to set the uniform aside when he held it up, his eyes narrowing when he saw how small it was. He swore he could have worn it without any problems if he was still in elementary school.

Upon closer inspection on his desk, his eyes narrowed even further as he saw a pile of books and manga stuffed inside. Sheesh, were they even allowed to bring manga to school? Osamu reached out to yank out the manga, his eyes widening as he recognised the title as My Hero Academia. Oh, he had a lot to catch up on since he thought the last thing he had read had been the part when they were about to have the school festival but as he looked closely, he thought his eyes had gone mad when he saw the volume number being well into the 20s.

There was no way he was that behind!

“Meatbuns! Meatbuns! Meatbuns oh!” a voice sang as Osamu turned around to see a orange haired boy stepping into the classroom. He didn’t recognise anyone from his class looking like that, his look was very distinctive and hard to miss. The boy was super short as well; Osamu was sure he wouldn’t even come to his chin if he stood in front of him right now. What made things even weirder was that the boy wore the team jersey of the Inarizaki volleyball club and now Osamu was positive he was going mad. There was no way a chibi like him would be on the starting roaster!

“Eh, Miya-sensei? What are you doing at my desk?” the boy asked as he stopped in his tracks. Osamu’s eyes widened as he tried to digest what the boy had just called him when he narrowed his eyes, slight recognition coming to his eyes as he gaped, “Hinata?”

“You remembered my name? That’s so cool! I used to go to all your volleyball matches and you inspired me to actually try and fight even though I’m short and all but I finally made it to the starting line up!”  
  


“Hold on, there is no way you made it to the starting line up.”  
  


“Hey, rude! Don’t underestimate me! I can jump!” Hinata yelled as he leapt into the air, Osamu’s eyes blowing wide as he saw how high he jumped. He knew the boy was very energetic but there was no way he could have pulled off something like that in a single attempt. Hinata had only started elementary school the last time he checked!

Now that he looked closely, Hinata did seem a bit taller the last time he met the boy. He and Atsumu often found him being one of the eager participants in Inarizaki’s annual sports camp where they had to teach younger kids various sports, them being the one training them in volleyball. Most of the kids often end up coming because they want to catch a glimpse of Atsumu, much to Kita’s annoyance and Osamu’s since heck, they look alike so why don’t they like him either?!

“Anyways, its nice meeting you and all, sensei but I really need to go. I’m super hungry and I need to manage the store as well. By the way, did you get a new hair job or something? I thought only Osamu-san had that hair colour,” Hinata chirped as he ran over to the desk to see Osamu still clutching onto the manga.

“Hey! Don’t go stealing my manga!”  
  


“Is this some sort of joke?” Osamu growled as Hinata squeaked, “What?! I just bought it!”  
  


‘There was no way in freaking hell that the manga managed to update so quickly. The last time I checked, it was only until volume four!”  
  


“Eh?! Are you sure you’re even keeping up? We’re at volume 26 now and they’re entering the arc where…”  
  


“Shut it! No spoilers!” Osamu yelled as he clamped a hand over Hinata’s mouth. The younger boy screeched as he tried to get away, Osamu slowly letting his hand drop as he stared at the manga in his hand. First, he had missed out 20 freaking volumes of the manga and now the kid he used to teach was his age? What the hell was going on?

His stomach rumbled as he clutched it, not realising he was that hungry as Hinata grinned, his smile widening as he asked, “How about this? Come to my place and get some good. I can lend you my entire manga collection just to show you how much you’ve missed.”

Osamu wasn’t thinking straight enough to tell the orange-haired boy no anyways, ending up following Hinata to his shop. The Hinata family owned a small meat bun business, their pork buns being some of the best in town. The twins used to pick up meatbuns after school all the time, the two of them often fighting over who had the bigger one as Mrs. Hinata chided for them to stop. Hinata would be bouncing on his feet, trying to get the two volleyball players to teach him some moves as his mother tried to haul him away and back to work.

The shop looked a bit more drabby and messy the last time Osamu checked. They made their way up to the small Hinata home positioned on top of the shop, Hinata shoving him into his room and promising him to get some meatbuns later. Osamu found himself staring at a wall of manga that Hinata owned, his eyes growing wide as he recognised some of them.

“What the freaking shit?! Fairy tail and Naruto ended?! How could I miss this? And Tokyo Ghoul too? What the heck?!” Osamu yelled as he rummaged through the collection, his mind going crazy as he took in the information. There was no way he missed this much updates, although now he was starving to just grab onto one of them and starting to read them. On the bright side, he could take all the time he needed to read them without having to bother with updates anymore.

Shit, he didn’t realise that all his time in volleyball made him neglect his manga reading duties! He groaned as he lay on his back, some manga scattered around him as he stared at the wall. Geez, he really needed to get back or his mother would worry about him. He slipped his hand into his bag to find his phone when his hand began to shake, his eyes widening when he saw the date written on top in black letters.

1 March 2020.

“What the freaking hell?” Osamu swore as he stared at his phone, wondering if there was a system malfunction or if he was going mad.

What happened to the past seven years of his life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! I know it sound stupid to keep requesting but knowing someone out there is enjoying my work really helps me pull my shit together and write a story people can love. Even just a short sentence is enough to make me happy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter! Man one minute I'm flowing with ideas and next, I'm just rolling on the couch trying to figure out what to write arghhh!!!
> 
> Enjoy!

_This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. Osamu didn’t just pop up in front of me out of nowhere and touched my cheek. There is no blinking way he’s alive and kicking. I saw it myself when he was lying dead and cold in the casket…_

The same words went through Suna’s head over and over, some of them even escaping his lips as he walked down the road. Some people moved back as they saw him muttering to himself, some of the elderly folk shaking their heads as they tried to move the younger ones away. Suna couldn’t give two shits about being thought off as a madman now; after all the shit he went through, it was a miracle his brain was even in one piece.

He didn’t even know where he was headed now. When he had came back to this town, he thought he head straight to his hotel but now that he thought about it, he didn’t even know where it was. He was surprised he even remembered his bag, the suitcase clutched in his hand as he speed-walked. More than once, cars honked out at him for nearly slamming into them, his mouth moving to utter an apology. If this was Tokyo, he might have gotten run over by a car by now if he wasn’t careful.

Somehow, his mind brought him to stand in front of an old shrine, the tori now faded with the small signboard hanging haphazardly on the top. Suna didn’t have to read it to know the words, his body taking the first few steps up to the shrine on top. The sound of a broom sweeping up stray leaves filled his ears, the sounds of the forest soothing his raging mind as he reached the top, slightly out of breath when he saw a priest standing on top. Golden eyes looked back at him, a small look of shock evident in them as the priest stepped closer. He was clad head to toe in white, sandals on his feet as Suna felt his throat constrict. It's been a while since he saw his senpai after all.

“Suna,” Kita murmured as Suna stood stock still. Shit, how was he going to explain to him why he ran away from everything all those years ago? When Osamu had died, Suna had spiralled into a deep depression that lead to his family moving back to Tokyo for his treatment. Kita had graduated and Atsumu had quit volleyball soon after, focusing instead on the studying he hated so much to take over the hospital his family owned. His father had been so happy that his son had finally ‘seen the light’ as he called it instead of fulfilling his dreams of going pro, not looking into the reason that Atsumu had quit because he no longer had his partner on the court.

Suna himself hadn’t picked up a volleyball in ages. Sometimes he would play with the company if they asked him to play a fun game amongst different departments. Quite a number of them hailed from famous schools and had ties with famous players, Iwaizumi and Akaashi being some of them. Heck, even Terushima had been a wing spiker once despite how chaotic the guy was in doing everything else; his team had narrowly lost to Iwaizumi’s team in their high school days to go on to nationals.

“Hey, Suna. Take a deep breath,” Kita whispered as Suna realised just how much he was shaking. It’s been a while since he was about to have a panic attack, the familiar feeling of losing feeling in his legs and the wind getting knocked out of his lungs rushing over him. His body felt weak as he crumpled to the ground, Kita barely catching him as his broom clattered onto the tiles. Suna grunted an apology as Kita shouldered him, bringing him towards the small living quarters next to the worship hall. As they walked, Suna glanced at the small stand where several wooden plaques were hanging, some of them much more faded than the others. Suna couldn’t remember the last time he had even bothered to write a wish or prayer on one of those.

“Granny, we have a visitor,” Kita called out as they stepped into the genkan. Suna had managed to calm down mostly, although Kita still helped him out of his shoes and half dragged him into the living room. He proceeded to place the boy underneath the kontatsu, Suna revelling in the warmth emitting from it as Kita’s granny came through the door, the older woman balancing a tray with some tea on them as Kita reached to grab them.

“Ah, isn’t this Rin-chan?” she asked as Suna bowed his head. The action made him dizzy, his head nearly colliding with the ground as Kita caught him once more, Kita’s granny reaching to place the tea onto the table and pouring a cup for him to drink. She gently coaxed the liquid into his mouth, Suna’s tongue recognising it as camomile as he finally felt his nerves calm down.

“Thank you, obasan.”

“Don’t mention it. I miss having you boys around. Shin-chan used to bring you over all the time,” she smiled as Suna’s heart clenched. They used to hang out at Kita’s place after volleyball practice or during festivals, the group often helping out with the stalls or just performing some of the shrine dances; Kita considered that as payment for always hanging around his house. Osamu and Atsumu would often do the dancing whilst Kita and Suna would man the charms stall, Suna’s eyes often more drawn to the twins dancing gracefully on the stage, their faces hidden behind ornate fox masks.

“I will leave you two to catch up,” Kita’s granny smiled as she took her leave, tottering out of the room to close the door quietly behind her. For a while, the two of them didn’t speak a word, Suna not knowing what to say to his senpai as Kita popped the question, “How have you been? I haven’t seen you around in a while.”

“I moved back to Tokyo for treatment.”

“Ah, I see. Atsumu mentioned something about you moving away,” Kita said sadly.

Once Kita graduated from school, Suna had lost all contact with him. He cut out Atsumu from his life as well, blaming himself for being the reason why the teen lost his sense of direction in life after losing his brother. The only news he heard of him was from his parents telling him that Atsumu was now training to be a surgeon. With his precise hands, Suna was sure he could pull it off.

“Why did you run away from it all?” Kita whispered as Suna gritted his teeth. He didn’t want to deal with something like this now, not when Osamu had somehow managed to come back into the picture.

“I caused Osamu to die. If I hadn’t waited for him…”

“You couldn’t have known. When its time for someone to go, you can’t stop it from happening.”

“You don’t know that.”

Kita reached out to hold onto Suna’s hand, giving the former middle blocker a light squeeze as he smiled sadly, “I know it's hard to move on, but Osamu wouldn’t want to see you like this. He would want you to smile and keep going forward.” The sound of Osamu’s name made Suna sniffle once more as tears pricked the side of his eyes, his fingers wrapping around Kita’s as he whispered, “Kita-san, I think I might be going crazy.”

After a rushed explanation on what he saw, Kita was left a little bewildered. It has been a while since he saw his senior looking like that, his lips downturned a little and his eyes shining as he tapped the side of his leg. After a moment of silence, Kita finally let out a sigh as he drummed his fingers against his thigh.

“I think granny might be able to give us an explanation about this,” he sighed as he went to fetch her. Once the old woman was inside, Suna recalled the events back to her, the older woman’s eyes widening as she smiled. Suna wasn’t expecting the answer she gave him, her eyes crinkling as she smiled.

“Rin-chan, you have a golden opportunity now. This is a miracle born from the sacred cherry blossoms tree. I’m sure you have heard about what it is capable of.”

“That if you stand underneath it and confess to the one you love, you will be able to live happily ever after?”

“Ah, that’s just one of its tricks. Legend has it that if someone wishes for a miracle to happen, the spirit of the tree will hear it and grant their wish. Did you wish for anything when you were under the tree, Rin-chan?”

Suna tried to think back to the moment when he had been sitting underneath the tree before he was engulfed by petals, his mind reaching towards that one moment as he thought of the words he had wished to hear coming from Osamu himself. So many times he had dreamed of what could have happened if Osamu hadn’t died, but seeing Osamu in front of him once more made him yearn for him to speak the words.

“I wished I could have heard him confess to me,” Suna whispered as Kita’s granny smiled, “Well, then, Rin-chan. Now’s your chance to make that happen.”

After seven years of pining and regret, Suna finally had the chance to make things right.

He didn’t know if Osamu remembered his promise or even still loved him, but he was willing to bet that he was going to tell him the words he had been keeping to himself all this time.

…

Kita had honestly been shocked to see Suna back in town. After graduating, he had gone on to work for the shrine as a priest and also work in the local farming area as a farmer during the summer due to the short number of hands. Kita loved his job of being able to keep up his family tradition and teaching the younger generation about the importance of the gods while providing food for the people. His life couldn’t be any more complete; that was if he hadn’t lost one of his closest friends.

The news of Osamu’s death had hit Kita hard. He never thought the Miya twins were even capable of dying with how hardheaded and dumb they were but seeing Osamu in his casket, dressed in black and pale made him realise just how precious life was and how easily it had been taken away from him. Atsumu had been nothing but a wreck after the incident, throwing away everything related to volleyball out of his life and concentrating on studying. At one point, Kita might have been happy that his kohai was finally taking his studies seriously but seeing how sad Atsumu was all the time, his eyes constantly searching for his twin made Kita’s heart break.

Once Atsumu left school, he left for the city, leaving Kita the only one of their group in town. It hurt Kita to have to be parted from them, his room filled with momentos of their time together as a team and as a friend group. His hard-earned team jacket that he had got after becoming captain of the Inarizaki team still remained hung on the wall, the colour slowly fading from the number of times he had put it in the wash. Sometimes, Kita could almost imagine them back on the court at nationals, the Miya twins flanking him on either side as he tossed his jacket to the ground, the crowd screaming their names as they marched on. Suna would be complaining about how loud they were while Osamu riled up Atsumu by calling him names. Kita would then step in to pull them apart, the older boy wishing they could just cut out their arguing for once.

He never thought he wanted to see the bicker so badly.

Whilst he was carrying out his cleaning duties in the shrine, Kita had come across a small cat wandering on the grounds. It had been a while since he saw one, the boy reaching out to coax the little creature closer. The cat had only hissed and ran away, hiding under the porch as Kita tried to call it out. He always thought the animals liked him, this one being a small exception as he crouched, careful not to get his eboshi dirty as he peered underneath.

“Here kitty kitty. I can get you some fish if you’re hungry. Come on now, don’t be shy,’ he cooed as he searched, his eyes scanning the darkness before noticing a wooden plaque on the ground. He slowly picked it up, nudging it closer with his broom and picking it up, his heart dropping when he recognised the name written on it. He carefully brushed the wooden plaque clean, blowing over it as he picked up a rag and wiped it. The words were still visible on it, the name of the owner written in neat kanji as Kita tied it up with the rest of the prayers, clapping his hands together in prayer.

If he couldn’t deliver the promise, at least he could hang it up there as a reminder of the person that wrote it.

So when Suna came dropping by a few weeks later, Kita had been shocked to hear that he had seen Osamu under the cherry blossoms. His granny had often told him of tales of the supernatural but to have one of his kohai returning from the dead was almost too much. He thought Suna might have gone mad for a bit but after Suna told him on how his fingers didn’t pass through Osamu’s body when they touched, it made him realise that as mad as it was, Osamu was now alive once more.

“Granny, are you sure about it? It's hard to believe that the impossible act of a dead person coming back to life can actually happen,” Kita said as he poured tea for his grandmother. Suna had taken to resting in one of their spare rooms, the older Kita having had offered the boy to stay there for as long as he needed. Suna had been forced to take some time off from his work anyways, leaving him plenty of time to mull over his actions in Hyogo. Kita couldn’t imagine how Suna had to go through everything on his own like that; even though he hadn’t spoken to Atsumu in years, at least being in the same prefecture as him gave him a bit of peace that Atsumu might be thinking of him.

“Shin-chan, the gods will always reward those with a good heart. Rin-chan is a good boy and Osamu as well. Don’t you think that it would be cruel for the gods to deny them of their wishes?” she smiled as Kita sipped his tea.

“I saw how much in love the two were. Fate was cruel in tearing them apart but now, the gods must have finally seen their mistake and want to make things right,” she said as Kita asked, “Do you think they can ever get back together?”

“That’s for the two of them to decide,” granny said as she finished her tea. Kita cleared up the cups as his granny went to retire to her room, leaving Kita to wash up. After cleaning, Kita found himself back in his room, staring at the pictures of the team once more as he twirled his phone in his hand. His thumb hovered over the number he had kept for the past seven years, not having pressed the call button once out of fear of not knowing what to say. He had wanted to give the other twin some space to mourn but now, he needed to know the good news despite how insane it might be.

Slowly, he pressed down on the call button, the ringing tone sounding in his ear for three rings before the person on the other end picked up. Their voice sounded slightly deeper than it had years ago, although Kita could still pick up who their owner was as Atsumu said, “Kita-san?”

“Atsumu, we have to talk.”


	4. Meatbuns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feeling a little ill today but better to do something productive than just sit down and mope I guess...
> 
> Enjoy!

Osamu was surprised he was finding life with the Hinata family pretty interesting. Most of the time he spent cooped up in Hinata’s room, the younger boy bringing in food for him since he didn’t want his mother to freak out about seeing him in the house. Hinata seemed to be thinking that Osamu was Atsumu all the time no matter how many times Osamu tried to tell him that he wasn’t Atsumu. Finally, he gave up after realising the boy wasn’t going to help him at all, the younger saying that he might have been stressed out to the point he had some memory loss or something.

Knowing Atsumu, anything can happen.

Osamu spent most of his days just catching up on the manga he had missed which was actually super fun. However, he eventually got bored of doing that, instead making his way down to the shop to see what Hinata was up to.

Osamu was a bit shocked to see a smaller version of Hinata barrelling into him, nearly sending him slamming into the door as the girl grinned. Osamu’s eyes widened when he remembered something about the Hinata’s having a new child, Hinata often going crazy about how cute his baby sister was when the girl spoke up, “Sensei? What are you doing here?”

Osamu still couldn’t get the fact out of his head that his stupid idiotic twin was supposed to be a legit doctor. The guy couldn’t even do arithmetic properly, how was he supposed to be a doctor that required him being good in all the sciences? Osamu couldn’t remember a time Atsumu brought home his report card without it being littered with red pen.

“Ah…”

“Onichan! What is sensei doing here?!” the girl called out as Hinata came out from the front of the shop. His parents were out for the weekend, allowing Osamu to move about the house a bit more easily. Trying to hide from the other Hinata family members was a bit difficult but luckily for him, Hinata didn’t seem to mind him being around.

“Ah Natsu, don’t jump onto him like that! He bumped his head and is a bit lost for now so he’s going to stay with us until he recovers!” Hinata beamed as the girl grinned, “Does that mean you can play with us today?”

“Maybe,” Osamu muttered as he turned to see Hinata getting called back to the storefront, the boy rushing back to work as Natsu sighed, “Niichan is always so busy with the shop and volleyball. He never has time to play with me!”

As the small girl pouted, Osamu knelt down to give her a pat on the head, making the girl squeak as he smiled, “How about this? I help your brother sell things today and after we finished, you can go play with him. Is that a deal?”

“Really?” she squeaked as Osamu held up a pinky finger, “Pinky swear.”

“Yay!”

Osamu let the girl run off into her room as he stepped into the kitchen, wrapping an apron around himself and pulling on a mask just in case people thought he might be Atsumu again. He didn’t want to cause any trouble with how weird everyone was acting around him now, snatching up a cap just as he heard Hinata yell up front, “Atsumu-san?! What are you doing here?”  
  


“What yer talking about, Shou? I’m here to get my meatbuns. Is it wrong to get them at this time of the day?”

“I know but… weren’t you at the back?”  
  


“Huh?! What you yammering about?” Atsumu’s voice grew louder as Osamu stepped out to the front, his heart hammering as he reached out for his twin. Why did he feel as though he hadn’t met him in years when they had only just been riding their bikes to school the previous day…

“I told you, you were inside!!”

“Ok you know what Shouyou, just give m the meatbuns dammit!”

“Tsumu!” Osamu called as both boys stopped shouting at each other. As he headed to the front, he saw Atsumu had Shouyou locked in a headlock, the younger boy squirming to get away as he gaped at him. Hinata looked ready to faint at what was going on, his eyes darting to and fro from both brothers as he yelped, “What the hell is going on?!”

“Samu?” Atsumu whispered as he eyed his brother. Now that Osamu looked closely, Atsumu looked much more different than he last remembered. Eyebags gathered underneath his eyes, his usual smirk gone to be replaced with a scowl. His shoulders slouched in front of him, his blonde hair now a mess, far from his usually perfectly styled hair. Heck, he was even wearing a turtle neck, something he swore he would never wear. A sleek Audi SUV was parked behind him, Osamu gaping as he pointed at it, “What the hell? Since when do you own a car?!”

Atsumu opens and closed his mouth like a fish as though trying to figure out what was going on. Hinata looked ready to faint, the poor boy reeling at his newfound discovery as Atsumu snatched the meatbuns from him, shoving himself into his car and driving off even as Osamu yelled for him to stop. The smell of exhaust filled the air as Osamu coughed, cursing about his brother being ridiculous as he turned to see Hinata staring at him, his face deathly pale as he pointed a finger at him.

“Ghost!” he yelped as Osamu yelled, “What the hell do you mean by that?! I’m alive and well!”

“I thought you were Atsumu-san and all!”

“I’m Osamu for crying out loud! How many times do I have to tell you!”  
  


“But you can’t be him! He’s dead! He’s been dead for seven years!” Hinata yelled as Osamu gripped his head. Flashes of a river filled his mind, the sound of water lapping against the bank reaching his ears as he tried to move his body. His body hurt so much, his fingers reaching out for the phone that had fallen out of his bag. The silver glint of the keychain Suna had given him twinkled in the late evening light, his mind getting foggy as he tried to call out for help. The last thing he remembered as collapsing onto the ground, the sound of his own heartbeat slowing down filling his ears as he was met with darkness.

“Osamu-san!” Hinata yelped as Osamu collapsed onto the ground, his head hurting so much he could barely stand. The younger teen helped him to his feet, dragging him upstairs the best he could before depositing him onto the futon and wrapping him up tight. Osamu gripped his head as Hinata yelled for Natsu to get some water before grabbing his phone, dialing in a number as Osamu felt himself drifting off.

What did Hinata mean by he’s dead?

…

Hinata knew he had an IQ of a peanut but he didn’t expect himself to be this stupid! As he dialled in the number with trembling hands, he kept glancing at the boy passed out in his futon, his fingers shaking as he tried to calm himself down. There was no way in freaking hell there were such things as ghosts right? Ghosts wouldn’t be able to hold onto manga and all that since they would fall through them. Ghosts are supposed to be transparent!  
  


Hinata thought it was odd to find Osamu sitting at his desk. He didn’t think that it could actually Osamu himself instead of Atsumu getting a new hair job (it wasn’t uncommon for the man to try and change up his hair colours after what happened). When Osamu had said something about him missing out on manga, Hinata had let his inner weeb take over and brought him over to his house, finally happy to have someone to discuss manga about although Osamu seemed more concerned about the fact that he had missed out on so much manga. Hinata could totally understand his dismay since medical school would leave him with no time to actually get anything fun done anyways and had just wanted some company so he didn’t think twice about actually using his head to think why the good doctor would actually want to read manga and lost his memory.

The person on the other end finally picked up as a low voice spoke, “This is the Inari Shrine. How can I help you?”

“Kita-san, is that you?”

“It is.”

“Please, I need your help. I don’t even know if I’m going crazy or not since ghosts aren’t supposed to be like this and I just thought it was a mistake…”

“Calm down. You said something about a ghost?”

“Yes. He’s sleeping in the futon right now.”

“Ghosts don’t sleep.”

“I know! Please! I know it sounds crazy but I have Miya Osamu sleeping in front of me right now! I can even take a picture and send it to you, Kita-san! Arghhh I thought something was a bit off but I never thought this would happen!” Hinata wailed as Kita spoke, “Where are you now?”

“Hinata meatbun shop. I’m Hinata Shouyou.”

“Alright. Stay right there. I will come to you right now.”

As the call ended, Hinata collapsed onto the floor, his eyes trained on the sleeping boy in front of him. Now that he thought about it, Osamu looked not a day older than seventeen, making things even freakier than ever as Hinata edged away a bit from him.

Maybe hanging around with Kageyama too much has made him much dumber after all.

…

Kita was pretty shocked to see Osamu in the flesh sleeping in Hinata’s room. At first, he thought it might be a prank call but when he sensed how distressed Hinata was and about him babbling about Osamu and Atsumu appearing together the same time, Kita could only guess what was happening.

He parked his pickup truck outside the shop, Hinata waiting downstairs to show him up. Kita excused himself as he took off his shoes, stepping into their small abode to see Osamu having woken up and was now staring at him with wide eyes. Kita could almost feel the breath leaving him as he walked over to Osamu, his eyes scanning the boy’s face as he tried not to cry.

He didn’t look a day over 17.

“Kita-san?” Osamu whispered as he sat up to bow when he felt a pain piercing through his skull.

  
“Woah, Osamu-san! Don’t get up! You nearly collapsed from earlier!” Hinata yelped as Osamu tried to fight back, “No, I need to know what happened. Why is everyone acting like they’ve seen a ghost? I’m still me, right? I don’t even know whats going on!”

_So he doesn’t remember…_ Kita thought as he knelt next to Osamu. He was still wearing his shrine uniform, his robes sweeping underneath his feet as he took Osamu’s hand into his. He sucked in a breath at how warm he was; he wasn’t even cold like when he had died. Kita pushed away those memories as Osamu eyed him, wondering why Kita was holding onto his hand as he asked, “So, what's going on? You became a priest now or something? Also, since when can Tsumu drive?! I thought the legal age is 18!”

“Osamu, calm down. For now, I need to tell you something.”

Osamu pursed his lips as Kita took a breath, “Do you remember what happened last?”

Osamu squeezed his eyes, trying to comb his mind for any information as he tried to recall. The last time he checked, the third years had just graduated from the club. Atsumu and Osamu were now leading the club, Atsumu being the team captain while Osamu was vice. The two of them had a practice run with the team, guiding them through the routine as Suna lagged behind, the Tokyo native groaning at how they refused to change the course.

Then he remembered what he had asked Suna to do in class earlier that day, his cheeks turning pink as he recalled.

_“Wait for me under the cherry blossoms at 5pm today.”_

Osamu turned red at those words, internally squealing like a girl at how he had asked Suna to do that. What had gotten over him to do something so stupid such as confessing to him under the cherry blossoms? That was an urban legend, why did he even bother to ask him to do such a thing…

“I remembered asking Suna to go and wait for me under the cherry blossoms. It was after school and I went there after training. I was on my bike… I remember the sound of water rushing through my ears but I don’t remember what happened afterwards…” Osamu muttered when he felt a pain rushing through his body, his body convulsing as he gasped. Kita reached out to steady him as Osamu almost fell back, his body wracked with pain as the sound of tires squealing hit his ears as he gasped.

“What the…” Osamu whispered as the pain died. It was almost as though he had been hit by a truck or something and died… the pain had been so excruciating…

“I don’t remember afterwards what happened. The next thing I knew was I was seeing Suna underneath the tree like we had promised to meet but Suna… he looked so different. He even had a beard!”

“Osamu… that’s because he’s 24 years old now.” Osamu’s voice stuck in his throat as Kita hung his head. The priest didn’t know how to break the news to him but he knew Osamu had to know sooner or later.

“Exactly seven years ago, you died in an accident. Your body was thrown off the side of the road and onto the rocks below. You died from blood loss and head trauma. Atsumu was the one that found you but by the time he found you, it was too late.” Osamu’s heart broke as the news sank in, now the weirdness of everything finally making sense. Him not remembering anything, the date being seven years into the future… now it all made sense.

He had been freaking dead all this time.

“So Atsumu… he’s…”

“He’s now a doctor at your family hospital training to be a surgeon. I’m currently working as a priest as well as a farmer while Suna moved back to Tokyo. He’s currently staying at my place.”

This sounded like a dream to Osamu. One minute he had been a high schooler aiming to go to nationals but now… all his dreams were snatched away. He had died, leaving behind friends and family who were torn apart and unable to go back to volleyball. Atsumu had been so against becoming a doctor he had gone as far to rip apart any sorts of textbooks his father had tried to give him to read. Now, he was doing the very job he hated. Suna had wanted to go pro as well but…

“Osamu, I know it's hard to digest, but I need you to come with me to the shrine now. Granny might be able to explain things to you better than I can.” The words floated over Osamu’s head as tears fell from his eyes, dropping onto his hands as he curled the blanket underneath him.

Why on earth did he have to die so young?

How could he leave behind the friends he loved so much?

How could his death caused their futures to change so much?

Would Suna ever be able to forgive him for never keeping his promise?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I made Hinata super dumb here but he's cute so thats all that matters.
> 
> Comments and kudos are really appreciated! They really help me with writing especially when I'm in a slump...


	5. The present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been trying to write for the past few days to no avail but managed to churn this out so enjoy!

When Suna finally woke up from his long nap, a headache bloomed in his head as he tried to sit up. He groaned about being stupid enough to take a nap knowing it would give him such a bad headache, wishing he had stayed awake when he heard some voices coming from the kitchen. The room that Kita had lent to him was right next to the kitchen, a little further from where Kita’s room was. The living quarters had quite a number of spare rooms for guests, although Kita said in the past that the only people who ever lived here were his granny and him. Kita lost his parents when he was younger, leaving him with his granny as his sole relative.

Suna got to his feet, wrapping his coat around himself as he stepped into the foyer. The sounds of people chatting and cooking in the kitchen filled air as he tiptoed to the kitchen, the smell of freshly cooked onigiri hitting his nose. Suna had to do everything in his power not to drool as he poked his head through the door, his eyes widening when he saw Osamu standing at the kitchen island with an apron wrapped around his waist, his hands in the process of shaping the onigiri into its triangular shape. Kita’s grandmother was smiling at him as she cut up some ingredients, her hands cutting some sashimi slices as Osamu rolled some tuna into the rice.

At one point, Suna did recall Osamu having told him he wanted to open his own restaurant. Of the few times he had ventured to the Miya household, Osamu had been the one to cook and often his cooking was even more heavenly than that of a restaurants. His mouth drooled as he recalled the times he bit into an onigiri filled with tuna, his stomach letting out an unwilling whine as Osamu looked up from his work to lock eyes with him. Suna tried to reverse back into the corridor when Kita came up from behind, shoving him into the kitchen as Osamu blushed.

“Come on you two. We need to sit down and talk about this,” Kita sighed as he got to work in helping his granny cut up the rest of the ingredients. Suna tried to busy himself by washing up whatever utensils that had been used, trying to avoid eye contact with Osamu the best he could as they worked.

Finally, they finished making their meal (Suna forgot what time it was) and sat at the dining table, clapping their hands together to say a prayer before eating. Suna all but pretended to pray before eating, Osamu giving him a sideways grin. The two of them never really prayed during meals anyways, something that Kita’s granny often chided about to them when they felt a kick on their shins. Kita raised an eyebrow as he opened his eyes, eyeing his juniors as he gave an inward sigh.

“Now then, dig in!” granny beamed as the boys dug into the food. Suna bit into the onigiri, his mouth exploding with warmth as he groaned with satisfaction. Its been so long since he had onigiri this good; even Tokyo didn’t have any stores that sold onigiri like this. He missed food that was prepared by individual stores, their owners crafting them with love over many generations to perfect the recipe.

“Osamu-chan made them. oh, how I wished you were my grandson-in-law to make this for me every day,” granny beamed as Kita almost choked on his food, “Granny, please don’t.”

“What? I don’t mind having another grandson. You need someone to settle down with, Shin-chan! I don’t have long to live and I want to see my grandson happy!”

“Granny,” Kita groaned as Osamu chuckled, “I will make as much onigiri as you wish, obasan if it makes you happy.”

The older woman chuckled as she sipped on her tea before setting it down, eyeing the group of boys seated before her. It seemed only yesterday that they were all young boys, fighting over food and the Miya twins trying to grab the last onigiri. She couldn’t count the number of times she whacked them with her walking stick for kicking each other under the table or reprimanding Suna for not sitting up straight. She was just happy she raised her grandson well; Shinsuke was the ideal grandson any old woman could ever ask for.

Once the meal was done, the older Kita excused herself to do the dishes despite their protests, leaving the three of them to sit at the dining table in awkward silence. Osamu didn’t seem to want to talk about anything until Kita finally spoke up, “So, I’m sure you’re wondering what's going on with everyone now.” Osamu gave a slow nod before asking, “How’s Tsumu?”

“He just came back from a different prefecture from medical school and is now training to be a surgeon at your hospital. After you… passed away, he quit volleyball and handed his position over to Aran. He said the court didn’t feel the same without you and didn’t want to play without you by his side. Your mother moved to Tokyo to get away from the pain after you passed, leaving your father to manage the hospital but recently, I heard she became ill and is now residing in a residence.” Osamu’s heart constricts as he heard the news. His mother had always dotted on him, possibly a bit more than she ever did with Atsumu. His death must have shattered the poor woman.

“I went to university here to study religious studies and am now working in the shrine as well as being a farmer in the summer. I conduct the usual purification ceremonies, helping out with cleaning and preparing the shrine for festivals but not many people come here these days… Hyogo is getting smaller as time passes; most of our schoolmates have left for the bigger prefectures.”

“Do you still play volleyball?”

Kita hung his head as he shrugged, “Once I entered university, I didn’t have time for it. I didn’t feel like I wanted to play it without you guys either and I wasn’t the best at it, so I guess I didn’t pick it up in the end.”

Kita eyed Suna to begin his own explanation, Suna gulping as he said, “I’m working in Tokyo as a writer for a sports magazine, mostly for Volleyball Monthly.”

“Volleyball Monthly?! That’s so cool! That’s like the main magazine we followed ever since we’re kids!” Osamu gasped as Suna gave a sheepish smile, “They gave me the job after finding out I was an Inarizaki grad and that I have experience with the sport. It isn’t as fun as being on the court though; sometimes watching people move on the court reminds me of…” Suna’s voice stuck, not wanting to tell him that playing on the court reminded him of Osamu.

“Wait, I know it's super cool you’re a sports editor and all but why didn’t you go pro? You and Tsumu were well on the way of even becoming good enough for the V League so what stopped you?”

“After you passed away, Atsumu just quit. Not having you two there or Kita-san around just made things harder. It just didn’t feel the same without the three of you. Around that time, my mental health began to deteriorate so I moved back to Tokyo for treatment. I couldn’t stand the thought of ever going back onto a volleyball court. Without you guys by my side, it just felt so… empty. No matter how much I tried to block out the other team, I couldn’t stand my ground, always letting them through our defences.”

Suna was shocked when Osamu pressed his head onto the table in a low bow, his head banging onto the polished wood as he yelled, “I’m so sorry for everything that caused you!”

“Hey, don’t apologise for dying…”

  
“If I had been more careful, none of you would have become like this! You and Tsumu would have gone pro and fulfilled your dreams and continued playing forever! And if I haven’t died, maybe Tsumu and Kita-san…” Osamu’s voice choked as Kita reached out to stroke him on the back, soothing his sobs as he whispered, “No one could have stopped death even if they wanted to. You’re not at fault for what happened to us. We are who we are today because of it, and we’re still alive so that’s what matters right?”

“I know… I know… but… Tsumu… how could I leave behind my little brother,” Osamu sobbed as he wiped his tears hastily before standing up to untie his apron, “I’m going to find Tsumu and apologise.”

“Are you mad?! People are going to go crazy if they see you and Atsumu together! You two are twins for goodness sakes and everyone knows what happened to you! Don’t you think it will make things complicated if you suddenly showed up in the hospital?!” Suna snapped as Osamu shouted, “I left him alone for so long! I need to at least see him!”

“Osamu, calm down!” Kita shouted, his voice just as commanding as it had been on the court all those years ago. The two of them sealed their mouths as Kita sighed, rubbing his temples as he raised his phone. “I will call him and tell him to meet us. I have already invited him over for dinner but he hasn’t responded.”

He put the phone down as he eyed the two of them, “How about you two go and take a walk? It's going to be a while until dinner so go cool off your heads. Osamu, try and cover your face with a mask or something. I don’t want the newspaper blowing up about me keeping a ghost in my shrine. It's going to be bad for business.”

…

_Atsumu watched in amusement as his brother twiddled his fingers next to him, his face slightly red as he opened and closed his mouth. Atsumu couldn’t take it any longer, giving his twin a nudge in the ribs as Osamu yelled, “What the hell man?!”_

_“Come on, you wanna be all lovey-dovey or just tell him the truth?”_

_  
“I already told him I was going to meet him later today at the cherry blossoms.”_

_  
“Eh? I didn’t know you had the balls to do that.. ouch!” Atsumu yelped as Osamu pinched his ear and twisted it. The younger twin flayed as their coach shouted for them to get their asses onto the court and get to work, the two twins groaning in unison as Osamu sighed, “Its none of your business.”_

_“I’m your twin. Everything of yours is my business,” Atsumu winked. Throughout practice, Osamu’s head was in the clouds, the ball smacking him more times than Atsumu can count off the tips of his fingers. Coach pulled him onto the bench for the remainder of practice, shouting at him to get his head back into the game as Suna watched from afar, his cheeks dusting with pink as Atsumu groaned to himself._

_“Come on! You’re already going to confess to him so why are you acting so flustered?” Atsumu drawled as Osamu slammed his locker shut, nearly hitting his fingers. He let out a yell as Atsumu grabbed him and shoved him out of the locker room, ignoring their teammate’s staring as they headed out. Suna had long left, the boy having left without even taking a shower after practice and running out of the school gates._

_Atsumu was so jealous that his twin has the guts to confess like that. He had been wanting to tell their captain how much he liked him for ages but he still couldn’t bring himself to do it. His gut always told him Kita might not return his feelings or just treated him like a creep but he wanted to hold onto the tiny chance that maybe, just maybe, Kita would like him back._

_But right now, he was also dreading the fact that he was going to lose the only other person he loved and actually had by his side. As much as he loved Suna, Atsumu knew that once they got together, they wouldn't be able to spend time with one another anymore. Osamu would be with Suna most of the time and Atsumu won't be able to be on the court with him for much longer._

_He didn't want to lose his twin._

_"Oi, Samu," Atsumu called as they reached the bike rack, Osamu already reaching to unlock his bike as Atsumu said, "If you win against me in a bike race, you get to go and confess to Suna, alright?"_

_  
"Huh, I already told him I was going to..."_

_"I'm not about to lose my idiot brother, got it?! If you can't even beat me like you beat me on the court, you don't deserve to be with him!" This was so stupid. Atsumu knew he was making up excuses but he knew he had to do something to avoid his brother from walking away from him. Besides, it wasn't as though Osamu had enough brains to turn down a challenge as stupid as this._

_“Fine, but if I'm late for my confession, I'm gonna kill you. Last one at the end of the road is a rotten egg.”_

_“Come on, who even says that… oi! Cheater!” Atsumu yelled as he raced down the path, students leaping out of the way as the pair of twins hollered. Osamu let out a laugh as he zoomed down the hill, his brakes screeching as he pulled around the corner and down the road, Atsumu doing his best to catch up. Shit, why did Osamu had to do something like this when he had an important confession to make?! At the same time, his stomach bubbled at the thought of finally being able to confess to Kita, his face taking a darker colour as he raced down the path._

“Atsumu? Hey, Atsumu, wake up,” a voice called as a hand tapped on his cheek. Atsumu groaned from his position on the couch, his back aching from having slept in an awkward position the entire time. His spine popped in several places as he got up, his hand reaching for his glasses when he found out that they were still perched on his nose as a hand ruffled his head.

“Come on, son. The patients aren’t going to wait for you. I always told you to sleep in the break room unless you want to feel like shit the next day,” Dr Miya chided as Atsumu groaned once more.

Atsumu hated his job to a fault. All the hours of studying drove him up the wall, robbing him of pretty much any sanity he had left in his brain and turning him into a caffeine addict and sleep-deprived individual. More than once he had been told off for snapping at patient’s way too much, although his skills in surgery and the ability to identify any sorts of ailments proved to be his saving grace. Atsumu thanked his years of being setter being one of the reasons his hands were so nimble.

After graduating from medical school hell, Atsumu found himself back in his hometown once more. After not being home for almost five years, stepping into his now-empty family home felt almost like a dream. The house was much too empty without his family around; his father spent more time sleeping in the hospital than at home and his mother was now in Tokyo. Atsumu still hadn’t gone and visited her, unable to face her after what happened with Osamu.

Speaking of Osamu, he thought he had gone mad when he saw his twin in the Hinata Meatbun Store earlier that day. The poor orange-haired boy looked like he had gone mad as he looked at each of the twins, in turn, mumbling something about ghosts as he stared at Osamu. His twin hadn’t aged a day, looking the same as the day he died after falling off the road.

Atsumu ignored the insistent beep of his phone as he grabbed his labcoat, stretching his sore muscles as he prepared for yet another long shift. His father began rattling off the details of the patients he had to see, Atsumu’s mind wandering off into the distance as he thought of how Kita was doing now. The last he heard, he was working at the shrine and in the fields.

He wondered how a sweaty farmer Kita would feel like in his arms.


	6. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a crazy week but gonna update this story for today. Not sure if I will put up a chapter tomorrow, we'll see.
> 
> Enjoy!

The first place that Osamu had asked for them to visit was the house he grew up in. With it being in the middle of the day and if he remembered how busy his father got, he wouldn’t be home well until the moon had risen in the night sky. Not to mention having his keys from before his death was handy; Osamu found it weird that he still had his phone and his keys.

He had discarded his old gym clothes and jacket for some of Suna’s things since he fitted him better. He now wore a light maroon hoodie with a beige coat that Kita had lent him. Kita’s granny had thrown in a checked scarf around his neck and voila, his look was complete. He still stuck to his old sports shoes though, although Suna hated to admit that Osamu looked very good in that get-up.

He had worn a mask on his face, just in case they bumped into someone they knew. Their hometown wasn’t that big so the chances of them bumping into someone were pretty high. Osamu even had a beanie perched on his locks, covering most of his face as they walked down the street. Suna recognised the street as soon as they turned onto it, old Japanese houses coming into view as Osamu sucked in a breath.

The house wasn’t much different from what he remembered. As he opened the front door, the sound of the door echoed across the empty house, reminding him of the days he and Atsumu would come home from school to find their mother cooking in the kitchen and asking them to wash up. Atsumu would whine about not wanting to shower and going straight to bed, Osamu having to drag him into the bath like a cat as their mother yelled at them.

Osamu trailed up the stairs, Suna following him as he moved to the first room. He slowly turned the knob to see that his bedroom remained the same as before, nothing changed since he died. The only thing that told of the owner’s absence was the smell of disuse and dust hanging in the air. Osamu reached out to run a finger along the desk, a trail of dust left on the finger as he looked around. All his books remained untouched along with the single volleyball sat on top of his bed. That he grabbed along with some spare clothes, coughing a little at how dusty they were before shoving them in and slinging the bag across his back.

“Sorry for making you come with me. How about we take a seat? I don’t think Tsumu and dad would be home any time soon,” Osamu offered as they moved to the patio, Osamu moving to see if there was anything to drink in the fridge. Suna felt that they were breaking and entering even though it was Osamu’s own house, the feeling of cold tea touching his skin making him yelp as Osamu laughed, “Come on, chill. Dad and Tsumu are the kind of people who don’t even notice if something goes missing in the house. Doubt they will realise they’re missing some tea.”

Suna brought the cold tea to his lips, drinking it down as Osamu smacked his lips, “Ah this is the life! Hey, how is it like to drink alcohol?”

“Tastes like piss.”

“Eh, I wonder why people want to drink it then. I can imagine Tsumu being an emotional drunk or Kita being the sleepy drunk,” Osamu grinned as Suna flushed, trying not to imagine the few times he had gotten drunk and how bad the outcome had been. He still remembered the first time he had gotten drunk and ended up naked in a random hotel room with a lot of his coursemates, majority of them passed out and naked. He had almost died thinking of his first not even being something he remembered doing, running out of the hotel and never going for another drinking party.

The windchimes chimed above their heads as the wind blew against them. Suna recalled having gotten that for the twins after going on a roadtrip with his parents to Okinawa (he didn’t know why he bought them that since they ended up fighting over who it belonged to. Their mother settled the problem by hanging it in the patio so everyone could use it). The sea glass shone in the light, painting them with various shades of purple, blue and pink, making Osamu’s pale skin shine as Osamu looked out at the koi pond.

“Hey, are you enjoying life without me now?” he asked. Suna’s heart jolted; of course life hadn’t been great for him! Sure, he was able to find a job and all that but he always longed to have the missing piece returned to him of Osamu being by his side. Heck, he hoped he hadn’t remembered the reason why he called him under the cherry blossoms in the first place!

Osamu ran a hand through Suna’s hair, scratching it as though he was a cat. Suna had the urge to just roll on his back and savour it, his head bobbing a little in rhythm as Osamu whispered, “I’m sorry for leaving you behind…”

When Suna didn’t say anything, Osamu continued to speak, “That day under the cherry blossoms. I didn’t get to tell you what I wanted to say but I promise you, I will properly tell it to you under the cherry blossoms. So, will you once again meet me under the cherry blossoms?”

…

“Uh, do you have an appointment with Dr Miya?”

“I don’t but I need to see him urgently.”

“The doctor is really busy.”

“Tell him that Kita Shinsuke is here. He will understand.”

“Of course sir. Give me a minute,” the nurse said as Kita sighed, brushing his bangs out of his eyes as he went to sit on one of the waiting benches. The hospital reminded him of the days where his father remained in a coma for a few months; Kita had been with his granny every day during that time, the old woman unable to say goodbye to her child after losing her daughter in law in the same accident that rendered him unconscious.

Kita would always be grateful for his granny in taking care of him. After a hit and run accident, Kita had been left all alone without any other living relatives. His father didn’t wake up from the coma and his mother died immediately during the crash. At the time, Kita had been at school and Kita’s granny had always said that it was the gods protecting him from having stepped into the car when he should have taken the day off and gone to the city with his parents. Now, whenever he was in the hospital, he would remember the smell of antiseptic and whatever medicines they used inside, the sounds of people talking and coughing filling the corridors from the rooms. Kita often found the hospital being a place where many souls couldn’t rest in peace, too many dying before they had a chance to be at peace.

Why had Osamu come back? He wasn’t a literal ghost but for him to come back without a reason… maybe he did have some lingering feelings that tied him to the earth. Atsumu might be the only one who could set things right with the older twin, Kita wishing that Atsumu would at least reply his messages. At one point in his life, Atsumu would be replying his messages so quickly that Kita wondered if he had more than five fingers and if he actually did everything with his phone.

“Kita-san?” a voice called as Kita looked up. A small smile crossed his lips as he recognised Miya Atsumu, now wearing a doctor’s coat with an ID card clipped to his breast pocket. The coat was a bit too pristine for his taste, Atsumu never being someone who liked to be neat and with the glasses perched on his nose, Kita thought that Atsumu looked almost handsome with them.

The said doctor removed them and tucked them into his pocket, letting out a sigh as some nurses passed by. One of them giggled as they bowed to him, greeting him as they went whilst he just waved a hand at them. In the past, Atsumu would be all over chatting with girls, often being the reason why their practices wouldn’t start on time because of him getting distracted. His blonde hair was dishevelled, long enough to be touching the nape of his neck.

“Atsumu, its been a while,” Kita said as he bowed, “Or should I say, sensei?”

“Kita-san, please don’t. I’m still doing my residency,” Atsumu grunted as he asked, “So, what do you want?”

“If we could find somewhere to speak alone, that would be great.” In the past, those words would have Atsumu blushing red and squealing internally like a fangirl but now, the request only made his stomach churn as he led the way to the elevators, pressing the highest level as they rode in silence. Kita noticed that Atsumu slouched a lot more now, his shoulder craning forward as he stepped out onto the rooftop, the wind hitting their faces as they made their way to the side, avoiding the blankets hung out to dry in the sun as Atsumu leaned against the thin fencing.

“So, what do you want?”

“You’ve seen the messages, you know what happened.”

“You expect me to believe that my brother, whose coffin I carried to the crematorium is alive? I’m a scientist, I don’t believe in ghosts.”

“Shouyou mentioned you seeing Osamu when you went to buy meat buns a few days ago and that he was confused about why there were two of you. The poor boy almost had a heart attack, bless him.” Atsumu didn’t want to admit that he had indeed seen his brother. The person could have been wearing a mask or an Osamu face like they did in mission impossible or something, right?

“I don’t believe in miracles happenings. The gods didn’t save my brother, why did they bring him back now.”

“Don’t blame the gods for what happened, everything is according to their will.”

“Screw them! They took away everything I lived for! Samu! Volleyball! Mum! My future! As if I trust them to play another sick joke by giving me my brother back!” Atsumu yelled as he reached out to grab Kita by his collar. His hand shook as he bit back the tears, trying not to scream out the words he wanted to tell Kita for so long. Of how he had wanted to confess to him after the race and tell him he loved him whether he had won or not. He loved him to a fault but after Osamu died, he couldn’t bring himself to find love when Suna had to suffer alone for the rest of his life.

Atsumu felt a gentle touch on his cheek, making him flinch as Kita rubbed his hand across his face. The younger Atsumu would have combusted if Kita did such a thing to him but now, he felt filthy and unworthy of his touch. How could he be so forgiving to Atsumu after everything that happened? He must know why Osamu died; how he died.

“Come tonight for some hotpot. You look tired and need some rest.” Ah, those same words Kita used to tell him as a student. Once he had found a packet of onigiri and some tea left behind with some medicine on the bench, Kita’s neat handwriting on the note left on top of it. Kita often cared more about the others than his own wellbeing, something Atsumu could never understand when Kita was a person who needed all the protection from the world he could get.

“7pm my place. You better bring some booze,” Kita smirked as Atsumu sputtered, sometimes having forgotten that they were already of legal drinking age. Kita smiled as he left the doctor standing on the rooftop, the sound of Atsumu’s blood rushing through his ears as he tried not to curl into himself.

Throughout the day, Atsumu was out of it to the point that his father yelled at him in front of the patients. Once he had almost injected himself with some medicine, the nurses screaming in terror when he had almost pierced his skin, his father growling as he pulled his son outside and slammed the door behind them. Some of the nurses and patients lingering outside turned to stare as the older Miya shook Atsumu by the shoulders, Atsumu’s brain too far gone to register his actions as his father snarled, “Hey, what are you doing? Do you want to kill yourself with that?”

“Who knows?”

“Listen here Atsumu. You have one chance, one damned chance to make sure we get the deal. Do your job well and you will be the next head of the hospital. We’re expanding the group with the help of the District minister so please get your act together and do your job properly.” His fingers uncurled ever so slightly as his shoulders sagged, the older Miya looking very tired as he sighed, “I know it's getting close to your brother’s anniversary but please, I need you to focus. Why did you say you wanted to be a doctor again?”

“To save lives.”

“Exactly. You don’t want any of them to end up like Osamu, do you?”

_How dare you talk to him like that? You weren’t even there when I found him. You have no idea how I felt when I saw my other half dead._

“Don’t you dare speak of Osamu like that!” Atsumu yelled as he slapped his father’s hand away and stomped down the corridor. His father yelled at him to come back, Atsumu ignoring him the whole way to the elevators, slamming his finger down onto the button leading to the underground parking lot.

He growled as he fished his car keys from his pocket, turning on the ignition and slamming on the accelerator to pull out of the parking lot into the streets. The moon was beginning to rise in the sky, explaining why Atsumu had felt so tired. His mind automatically led him to drive towards Kita’s shrine, parking his car down at the stone steps before making his way up. Atsumu wondered if he would get struck down by the gods after insulting them earlier.

Instead, Atsumu found Kita waiting at the front door, wrapped in a dark grey sweater that brought out his eyes and skinny jeans. Atsumu tried not to salivate at how ripped his thighs looked despite the lack of volleyball after so long, his biceps visible under the wool jumper as Atsumu excused himself into the house in a tiny whisper. Kita didn’t question him about not bringing anything, instead leading him into the kitchen where the sounds of utensils clattering against each other filled the air.

“Eat more, Suna-chan! You’re a growing boy. You two, Osamu-chan.”

“Granny, since I’m dead and won’t be able to gain weight, I will take up that offer.”

“Don’t be so rude, Osamu!” Suna’s yelp followed as Atsumu wandered into the kitchen to see his brother seated next to Suna, smiling as he ladled the contents of the hotpot into his bowl. The smile on his face was bright as Suna tried not to get flustered at how much food was being given to him, Kita chiding for them to calm down while he went to help his granny take her one food. Atsumu felt like an intruder stepping into their midst, about to ruin a precious moment in time when Osamu looked up at him. The twin’s smile fell as Atsumu’s stomach churned, not knowing what to say when Osamu came over to give him a hug. The older twin smiled against him as he held onto his younger brother, Atsumu already feeling his knees giving way as he felt the tears come out.

The last time he had cried had been at his brother’s funeral. After that, he felt that shedding tears would make him seem weak so he refrained from doing so, even though at times he felt it would be better if he just jumped off a cliff and died to escape from those feelings of guilt.

“Hey, Tsumu, its alright,” Osamu whispered as he ran his fingers through his hair. Atsumu hadn’t realised how much he was crying as he held onto his twin, his sobbing growing louder as he held onto him. Osamu smelled like the shampoo the always used at home, his body firm and squishy the way he always felt when they laid in bed curled in each other’s arms on a stormy night.

He felt very much alive, the sound of Osamu’s heartbeat meeting his ears.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, Samu.”

“Come on, it wasn’t your fault.”  
  


“It was. It was because of me that you died.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter!!
> 
> Could really use some comments on this, just want to know if anyone out there is reading this and likes it...


	7. What happened 7 years ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the angst!!!

Silence fell across the room as Atsumu sobbed into Osamu’s shoulder. The older twin stood still as he held onto his younger brother, Atsumu looking as though he wasn’t about to stop crying anytime soon. As he hiccuped, Kita gently led the duo into the living room, coaxing Suna to follow after them and apologising to his granny for the disturbance as the older woman nodded. The boys had seven years of feelings that are waiting to be released; Atsumu and Suna having been affected most of all by it.

They deserved to get some closure for what happened.

After bringing in some tea to calm him down, Atsumu finally managed to find his voice as Kita leaned next to him. at some point, Kita had slid his fingers through Atsumu’s, winding through them as though it was the most natural thing in the world to do as Atsumu took deep breaths. The doctor looked anything but composed; he looked like he had just died and got shocked back to life. It took about two cups of tea to calm him down and a lot of soothing from Kita’s end for the boy to finally speak, his teacup in his hand as Osamu asked, “So, why don’t you start from the top?’

“Are you sure you want to hear?”

“Heck, I’m already dead. As if a bit of mental trauma can hurt me any further,” Osamu snorted as Atsumu laughed dryly, “You’ve always been an idiot, Samu.”

_Osamu was right up ahead the road due to his early start, Atsmu yelling profanities at him as he zipped down the road. He knew he should have gotten the racing bike instead of the mummy bike; he had been too afraid of falling off and thought the mummy bike would be the safest option of the two. Now he was going to lose to the bet and let his brother walk away with one of his closest friends._

_To hell, he was going to let Osamu get taken away from him. Life without his twin, even though he would just be dating… he couldn’t deal with it!_

_Atsumu paddled with all his might, trying to catch up to his brother. They were already coming into the windy mountain path, a route they had often taken as kids for bike races when they got bored. The number of times that they had been scolded for being so reckless made Atsumu grinned as he sped up, his bike inching closer towards Osamu’s bike._

_“What the hell?!” Osamu yelled as he finally overtook him, the sound of the river rushing doing little to keep the laugh escaping from his lips. Atsumu gave him the middle finger as he sped away, shouting that he was going to win as he sped forward. He smirked, victory finally in his grasp as he pumped a fist, gripping onto his mummy bike. Oh man, this was the best race he ever had by far!_

_“I win! I win! I win!” Atsumu sang, drumming his fingers onto the handlebars of his bike. He could barely contain his excitement, the only thing stopping him for a moment was when he nearly collided with a car. Atsumu swore as the black sedan sped past, the boy shouting at the driver even though he could barely make out his face. The driver didn’t even honk at him as they sped off, Atsumu wishing he had let loose a kick on that shiny metal body as he sped away, not wanting to break off his concentration and current winning situation._

_The race came to an end all too soon, Atsumu reaching the end of the path with a loud whoop. He pulled to a stop in front of the bus stand in the corner, reaching to pull out his water bottle to guzzle down some water. He was so glad he had worn his gym clothes; cycling in his blazer would have killed him from the heat! Atsumu wiped his lip with his sleeve, bouncing on his feet as he watched out for Osamu, expecting the boy to turn up at any moment._

_“Eh, he’s pretty late,” Atsumu thought as he checked his watch. No way his twin would be behind him by ten whole minutes! Time ticked past, the ten minutes slowly turning into 15 and 20, soon reaching 30. At that point, Atsumu decided to call Osamu, thinking the boy might have turned back and just gone straight to the cherry blossoms tree. Atsumu knew he wouldn’t do something that stupid though, he was a man of his word after all._

_When Osamu didn’t pick up his phone after three rings, he began to panic, getting onto his bike and paddling up the road. He cursed the fact that it had a slight incline, his legs screaming from exertion as he rode on. His heart hammered against his chest as he called out for his brother, his eyes scanning the road as he yelled, “Hey Osamu! Come on out man! I won but you can still confess to Suna dammit! I don’t want to keep you waiting so come on out!”_

_His words remained lost in the wind, Atsumu getting more panicked as he spotted a fallen racing bike on the side of the road. His body went into auto mode, his body flying off his bike to chuck it to the ground, reaching to examine his twin’s bike as he pulled out his phone. Shit, he had to be here somewhere, he wouldn’t just leave his bike like…_

_The sound of his brother’s ringtone filled the air, Atsumu’s heart dropping as he heard it echoing from below. Slowly, he turned to look down at the riverbank, the water lapping against the rocks as a still body laid below. Blood pooled around the boy, their eyes closed. Their bag had burst open, its contents scattered on the ground. A broken phone was popped open next to the owner, his grey hair streaked with blood as Atsumu raced down the side of the road. He didn’t care if his hands bled from curling into the dirt, the only thing in his mind was whether his brother was alive._

_“Samu! Hey!” Atsumu yelled as he knelt down next to him, his hand reaching to pull his brother into his lap. Osamu remained unmoving, his body cold as Atsumu felt for a pulse, hoping to find one. His heart almost stopped when he realised what had happened, his hand moving to call for an ambulance even when he knew that it was no use. His lip wobbled as the dispatcher picked up on the other end, her cool voice doing little to soothe his mind as she asked, “911, what's your emergency?”_

_“My brother has been injured. He fell off his bike and is currently unconscious.”_

_“Where are you at?”_

_“At the mountain road close to Inarizaki High School. At the halfway point.”_

_“Emergency services will be there in 20 minutes. Please keep the victim as warm as you can.”_

I want to. I want to but there’s no use. Osamu’s gone. He’s gone… _Atsumu wept as he cradled his brother’s lifeless body in his arms. He tried to resuscitate him, bringing his lips to his own even as he remained cold in his arms. When the paramedics finally came, Osamu’s lips had already turned a nasty bluish purple colour, the blood on his body now dry. Despite their Inarizaki jacket being a dark red, the colour of the blood staining it was still visible._

“ _Young man, please stand aside,” a paramedic warned as they set him onto a stretcher. His partner had begun to throw a white sheet over Osamu’s body, shielding him from view as Atsumu grabbed onto the paramedic, “Oi, don’t treat him like he’s dead!”_

_“I’m sorry but he’s gone.”_

_“No! he can’t be! He’s just in a comma or something! You need to hook him up to a machine and he will wake up sooner or later.”_

_“Young man, please…”_

_“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare do that to me! He’s my twin for goodness sakes! Please, don’t take Samu away from me!” Atsumu wept as he grabbed onto the paramedic, the man getting irritated enough to yell for a police officer to drag him into a car. Atsumu screamed as he tried to get back to his brother, his hand reaching out to the body lying curled underneath the white sheet. Tears spilt from his eyes as he cried out, choking on his brother’s name when he heard someone else shouting, “Osamu!”_

_Atsumu’s heart nearly dropped as he turned to see Suna standing in the crowd, barely held back by the police as he cried out for Osamu. At that moment, Atsumu felt his heart shatter, watching as the boy that his brother was supposed to confess to, losing his chance forever. Osamu would never be whisked away by Suna to be together and live a happily ever after, turning into an old man and annoying the hell out of him._

_Atsumu had taken away his twin brother by himself._

_He was a murderer._

_He didn’t deserve to live._

_He deserved to die._

Atsumu sobbed as he gripped his pants, unable to look at his brother in the eye. He had kept the story under lock and key for all these years, letting it out made his heart feel so much lighter and painful at the same time. While he finally got the truth out, he now knew that people were going to hate him for what he had done. If only he hadn’t done it, their group wouldn’t have been torn apart and Osamu would still be alive.

So he was surprised to find his brother kneeling in front of him and holding onto him, Osamu shedding tears as he held onto Atsumu. Both of them cradled each other for a few minutes, Kita moving to give Suna a small hug as the other boy sobbed. Atsumu glanced at Suna, waiting for the guy to get up and punch him when Suna whispered, “Thank you for telling me the truth. At least I know what happened that day.”

How? How could Suna be so positive about this? His brother was about to confess to him and now he will never know about his love?

“Hey, Atsumu. It wasn’t your fault. I just happened to be careless and slipped. Shh, it's not your fault. At least I’m here now,” Osamu whispered as Atsumu let out a wail. Kita looked out from the thin paper sliding door, thinking about how he was going to deal with this situation. He had been shocked to hear Atsumu’s confession; something like this could very well destroy his entire medical career due to the act of manslaughter.

“There’s something I find a bit odd about the situation,” Kita said as the boys stopped sniffling for a second to look at him.

“That’s the same path we’ve been using all the time as kids right?” Kita asked as Atsumu nodded, “Yeah, we use to go racing there all the time.”

“What I don’t understand is how Osamu could go flying into the riverbank below. It would have to be a very hard hit in order for him to go that far…”

“I must have slipped and fell. Accidents like this do happen from time to time.”

“You’re not someone to slip up that badly, Osamu,” Kita muttered as he raked through his mind for the information. Atsumu mentioned something about seeing a black car moving past and nearly knocking him in the process. What if… no… it couldn’t be…

“Osamu, can you remember what happened in between starting the race and falling down?” Kita asked as Osamu flinched, “I tried remembering but my head hurts when I do.”

“Try it again. This time, try to think of what happened then. What happened during your race with Atsumu?”

Osamu closed his eyes, trying to picture the scene. His brain began to throb as he tried to remember, the hazy memories slowly coming back to him when he felt a hand slip through his. He cracked his eyes open to see Suna holding onto his hand, a supportive smile on his face as the older Miya nodded. He focused once more on his task, the throb in his head fading ever so slightly as he was drawn back to the moment.

_“Shit! What the hell! And I got a better bike too!” Osamu groaned as he sped up. There was no way he was losing to this stupid bet! He was going to make Atsumu eat his words and beat the shit out of him. Suna taking him away from him? What the shit was that about?!_

_Osamu pedalled faster as he swerved around each bend. This was the tricky bit of the race route but he had been there countless of times enough to know which way would be the safest way to go. He couldn’t see Atsumu in front of him, his panic beginning to rise as he thought of the stakes he had in place when headlights flashed in front of him. Osamu threw up a hand to cover his eyes when he felt his bike colliding against metal, his body flying through the air as he flayed. He tried to stop himself from falling when his head connected to the ground with a sickening crack. Pain bloomed from his body as he wheezed, trying to reach out to call for help._

_His bag had split open during the fall, his cracked phone sitting a few centimetres away from him. Osamu tried to reach out to grab onto it, only for his entire body to scream in pain as his hand flopped uselessly to the ground. Osamu cursed as he looked up, trying his best to call for help when he saw a shadow standing on the side of the road. Osamu tried to call for help but his tongue wouldn’t work, his voice coming out in a pathetic wheeze as his vision darkened, the person slowly moving away as his mind fogged up._

“Suna, sorry, I’m going to be a bit late,” _Osamu thought as his mind went dark, the last thing he remembered being Suna’s smiling face underneath the cherry blossoms, his hair ruffled in the wind as Osamu reached out to hold onto his hands._

“Shit,” he grunted as he collapsed against Suna, his head hurting as Suna rubbed circles into his shoulders. Osamu slowly pushed himself up before looking at Kita, the puzzle slowly coming together as he rasped, “Someone… someone knocked me off the bridge. It wasn’t your fault that I died, Atsumu.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened as Kita asked, “Atsumu, do you remember what car it was?”

“I dunno… but it looked pretty expensive.”

“Try and remember. Right now, we might have a murder case in our hands.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oya oya, hope this explains things to what happened in the past! For now, my brain is pretty dead for writing but hopefully the weekend will recharge me and we can continue with the fic!
> 
> How did you guys find this chapter?


	8. Fitting into life once more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crazy tired from all the moving I had to do and I still need to do major cleaning. Might have to move updating to once or twice a week for the next few weeks as I have next to no ideas or motivation to write and it's killing me in trying to sit down and write when I'm not in the zone so bear with me!
> 
> Anyways, hope you guys like this chapter!

Somehow, Suna found himself sandwiched between a teenage boy and his twin, the two of them with their arms wrapped around him. Even as he tried to wiggle from their vice grip, the twins showed no signs of wanting to release him so Suna resigned to his fate and tried to sleep.

It was so strange. Even though they were identical twins, with one of them having grown into a full-fledged adult, Suna was now beginning to see some differences between the two; although they were quite subtle like Atsumu slowly growing a beard and him being a bit taller than before. His body wasn’t as toned as when they were teenagers, not having had enough time to go to the gym although he still looked good without having belly fat. Suna thought about his own body; he was glad most of the time he just didn’t have time to eat or had no appetite to do so that allowed him to keep his weight.

“You can’t sleep?” a voice whispered as Osamu turned to face him. Suna was glad it was dark since Osamu might have caught the hint of a blush on his cheeks. They were close enough that their noses were nearly touching, his skin tingling as he tried not to think about Osamu possibly reaching out to hold onto him. The twin didn’t seem to notice it though.

“It's all so crazy, isn’t it? One minute I’m dead and the next minute I’m having a sleepover with you guys.”

“Yeah… just like the old days,” Suna thought, remembering the number of times they had fallen asleep tangled like this, Kita and Atsumu normally wrapped in each other while Suna and Osamu became human burritos. Suna and Osamu liked the warmth, often ending up stealing blankets and rolling themselves up in them to prevent them from getting stolen, forcing Atsumu and Kita to find body warmth with each other. Once, Suna and Osamu had somehow been rolled up together and Suna had woken up to a flustered Osamu who had proceeded to tangle them up even more by trying to wiggle out of the burrito cocoon.

Osamu smiled as he looked over at his younger brother, Atsumu beginning it drool in his sleep as he held onto a spare pillow. The doctor looked exhausted, his breaths low as he slumbered. Suna gave him a little poke in the leg, Atsumu not even turning in his sleep as he muttered, “Baka Samu. Welcome home… make me some onigiri. Me hungry.”

“Idiot… always thinking about food,” Osamu sighed, although his eyes were filled with dotting love for his younger brother as Suna asked, “So, what are you going to do?”

“Well, maybe if we can catch this person, that might be a start but I was thinking of helping around with the shrine. I thought it would be nice to actually help Kita with the chores instead of just sitting around and doing nothing. At first, I thought it would be nice to help Hinata out but I don’t want to give the poor boy another heart attack,” he chuckled as Suna smiled. Ah, he recalled the time that Osamu had actually told him he wanted to open his own restaurant and sell onigiri; he always did liked making that particular food.

“How about you? Aren’t you supposed to go back to Tokyo soon?”

“I’m still on paid leave but I guess I will eventually.”

“Do you like your job?”

“Yes, I do and all, it's just… I feel like I have something to take care off here before I head back.”

Osamu laced his fingers through Suna’s, giving the middle blocker a light squeeze as he whispered, “Hope you get it settled then, although I wouldn’t mind keeping you here for a while longer.”

Suna tried not to stammer out a comment as he watched Osamu’s eyes fluttered shut, his breathing evening out as he fell asleep. Suna sighed as he rubbed his face, trying to get the blush to go away as he groaned to himself. Osamu was still a teenager and he was an adult now! Doing anything to him would be considered illegal since Osamu was a minor!

“Ah, what am I going to do about this?” Suna groaned as he buried his face into the pillow, wishing morning would come sooner so he wouldn’t have to deal with the gorgeous face sleeping from across him.

…

Atsumu wakes up to the sound of someone cooking in the kitchen, the smell of grilled salmon reaching his nose. He sniffed the air, slowly removing himself from his tangle of blankets to see Suna and Osamu curled up against each other, both still fast asleep as he tried to resist taking a picture. In the past, a photo of them would serve as good blackmail against his twin but now, just taking the picture would remind him of the brother he would never get to have once he disappears from the earth.

Deep down, he knew Osamu wouldn’t be here for long but he didn’t know how long he would be either. The story of the cherry blossoms being one of the reasons he came back was something Atsumu thought to be a bit ridiculous but knowing the Kita family and their ties to the gods, he was starting to believe that it was possible.

Scratching his head as he walked into the kitchen, Atsumu was greeted by Kita standing at the stove, an apron thrown over his pyjamas. His blue pyjama top was skewed to reveal a bare shoulder, his pants loose enough that they pooled below his waist. Atsumu had to control himself from going over and giving him a good morning kiss, which he thought Kita wouldn’t appreciate since they weren’t even in that kind of relationship. The priest smiled as he greeted him, Atsumu nodding back to him as he glanced at the clock.

He was due to be in the hospital at 10. Now, it was 9am. He couldn’t give a shit anyway; his old man was probably there to take care of his shifts. He could afford sitting down and having a nice home-cooked meal. Kita joined him at the table soon, both of them clapping their hands together to say “Itadakimasu” before digging into their food. Atsumu had to stop himself from giving a groan of satisfaction as he bit into the food, the fish melting in his mouth as Kita smiled, “You seemed to be enjoying the food.”

“Hell yeah. I hadn’t had a home-cooked meal in ages!”

_“Not ever since Osamu died,”_ he thought. His father didn’t even care about cooking, his mother had turned to isolate herself in her room and never coming out, leaving Atsumu to deal with the housework and keeping his parents alive. His mother would barely eat and even after he tried to tell her that he was moving away for university, his mother had broken down saying that she will truly lose her children now. More than once, he had seen her going into his twin’s room, speaking to his pictures as though he was still alive.

It was as though no one even cared about the one twin that did live on.

“Atsumu, your phone is ringing,” Kita’s voice called as Atsumu snapped out of his reverie. He didn’t have to look at the ID to know who it was since he had literally no one whom he called other than him. He groaned as he shoved it back into his pocket before finishing his meal, thanking Kita for the meal before excusing himself to go to work.

“Hey, you’ve got some rice on your cheek,” Kita called as Atsumu stopped midway in putting on his shoes. Kita swiped the rice away with his thumb, flicking it into the bin next to the door as Atsumu blushed. He thought for a moment that Kita would totally eat it, making it an indirect kiss. Atsumu blushed even harder as he excused himself, racing to his car and slamming the door behind him as he buried his face into his hands.

Argh, why was he acting like this?

…

“Where have you been?” Dr Miya snapped as Atsumu trailed into the office. The other doctors tried not to listen in to the conversation as Atsumu draped his jacket over the chair and pulled on his white coat, a scowl on his face as he grunted, “I just went over to a friend’s place.”

“Now isn’t the time to be sleeping around, Atsumu! Your future is at stake with our business dealings with the Minister happening soon!”

“What do I give a damn about your stupid deals?! This is your hospital, not mine!”

“It will be someday! And you better start thinking like an adult instead of just running away from your problems!”

Atsumu grabbed the older man by the collar and shoved him against the wall, his colleagues giving out shouts as Atsumu growled into his old man’s face, “Just because I ended up doing this job, doesn’t mean I’m going to stick around here forever. Once I’m done with my residency, you can kiss my ass goodbye.”

“You ungrateful little…”

Atsumu released his father as he grabbed his clipboard, not caring to look back to see his colleagues gaping at him. Atsumu was well known for his temper and mood swings; his father hadn’t been the only one on the receiving end of them ever since he started work here.

Atsumu stomped down the corridor as he tried to stop thinking about his life, focusing instead on trying to help the patients feel better the best he can.

If he couldn’t save his brother, at least he could save the few lives that he had been entrusted to.

…

Osamu began his job as a shrine worker after discussing it with Kita and his granny. Even though the older woman insisted he didn’t have to, Osamu didn’t want to intrude on them and be a freeloader; he claims that would be Atsumu’s style of doing things so Kita assigned him to sweep the front yard before going through some of the documents of local residents.

Osamu was beginning to regret his decision as he clutched onto the haori he was wearing, the thin material doing very little to keeping him warm. The wind pierced his skin as he shivered, wrapping it close as he swept the leaves. He gave a low growl as the wind picked up, scattering the leaves he had spent an hour sweeping up across the ground as he sighed, now going back to square one.

The sound of typing could be heard from one of the spare rooms where Suna was busy doing some work. Even though he was technically on holiday, he insisted that he still needed to set some schedules for upcoming games he was supposed to report on. Osamu still found it hard to believe that Suna was working for the very same sports magazine every volleyball player would gush over as teenagers; the Inarizaki team themselves had interviews with them many times, with Atsumu often being the main attraction.

Suna had glasses perched on his nose, squinting his eyes as he leaned forward to look at the screen. Osamu giggled at how funny Suna looked; his eyes were already tiny enough that when he squinted, it almost looked as though he was sleeping. Suna ran a hand through his thick locks before typing something into his phone, bringing it up to his ear to speak to someone.

That was when it hit him that he would never be able to live an adult life. He would never go drinking, go to clubs or have a job. Heck, at this point, he wouldn’t even mind having a proper job just to have a taste of what it felt to be alive.

At one point, he had wanted to tell his twin about him wanting to leave volleyball. Being by Atsumu’s side often meant being shadowed by his younger twin. Everyone would call him “Atsumu’s twin” or the ‘other half of the Miya twins’. He even joined the sport because his mother wanted him to keep an eye on Atsumu in the first place; the guy couldn’t go anywhere without picking a fight with the other kids.

_“Eh? You wanna open an onigiri store?” Suna asked as he bit into an onigiri Osamu had prepared. He knew the boy was good at cooking but to even think about pursuing it for a career, Suna was taken aback. He thought he would continue playing volleyball just like his twin and go pro._

_‘Kinda had enough of being in the shadow of Atsumu, ya know? Also, I want to continue making food I can savour and for people to enjoy. I don’t think I’m cut out for professional volleyball once I’m separated from Tsumu; he’s going places I can never reach.”_

_Suna hummed as he finished off his onigiri, licking his fingers as he let out a small smile. The boy rarely ever smiled except when he was around Osamu, something Osamu really treasured as Suna smiled, “I will be your first customer when your shop opens.”_

“Osamu! The winds picking up so I don’t think it's worth trying to sweep the leaves anymore! Come inside and start sorting out the documents while I go get some more!” Kita called from the house as Osamu nodded. He quickly went to the shed, dropping the broom off and heading into the house, sighing in relief as warmth flooded back into his body. Perks of living with an old person; you need the house warm at all times.

Osamu couldn’t help but let out a groan when he saw the stack of papers waiting to be sorted. Damn, what the hell was going on anyway?

“Oh, something about them wanting to cut down the cherry blossoms tree. It’s a sacred treasure here in the town so many people are protesting about it. Some who are outside the town are even lending their support in this so that’s why we have so many to sort through,” Kita said as he let out a yelp as his granny thwacked him over the head with a duster.

“It's not just any ordinary tree, Shin-chan. Don’t go speaking about it like that.”

“Yes granny,” Kita muttered as the older woman huffed about younger people not appreciating the older generation’s beliefs. Osamu still found it funny that Kita’s granny thought of him to not believe in superstitions that much; he was just about the holiest person he ever met since he was the only one who legit prayed before mealtimes.

Osamu grunted as he got a couple of paper cuts, sucking on his wounds as he sorted through the paper by street and district. His mind was already swirling as he tried to read the various different kanji, cursing the fact that he had to decipher most of them. He sucked at reading to begin with so doing this was absolute torture.

As he finally managed to get halfway through the pile, Osamu moved stretched out, not realising he was about to hit a pile of papers until they began to tilt. The boy let out a yell as the stack fell onto the ground, several curse words leaving his lips as he groaned. Luckily it wasn’t the pile he had just sorted but it was still a pain in the ass to pick them up all over again.

As he picked them up and tried to make them into a neat stack, his fingers brushed over a familiar-looking name as he pulled out the document. His eyes widened as he recognised the name, although the address was now in Tokyo as his breath hitched.

_“Your mother became ill after you died and was moved to Tokyo for treatment.”_

His hand shook as he remembered his kind mother. The woman was too kind for a man who didn’t care about the family and only came home whenever he pleased. The only reason the twins were ever good at volleyball was that she wanted them to have a life outside of the home and have a place to let go of their energy. While she supported her husband’s wishes, more often she wished that she had someone at home to be with her instead of being in the office all the time.

“Hey, where are you going?’ Kita asked as Osamu got to his feet, holding onto the document as he went into his room. This will be his only chance to go and apologise to her for leaving her all alone; heck, he didn’t even care if she would freak out about him coming back to life suddenly!

“Tokyo,” Osamu said as Kita sighed, “I know you want to see your mother but do you think she would be happy to see her son alive when he died seven years ago or do you think she might think she’s going crazy?”

“Mum has been alone all this time. I owe her a proper explanation.”

The door to Suna’s room slid open as the boy stepped out, his suitcase in hand as he said, “Sorry, I have something to take care off in Tokyo and have to head back immediately.”

“Perfect timing,” Osamu said as he grabbed onto Suna’s hand and dragged him to the front door, not stopping even as Kita shouted for them to come back as they walked down the stone steps.

“What are you doing?” Suna asked as Osamu let out a smile.

“We’re going to Tokyo. Together.”

A voice coughed behind them as Kita stood on top of the stairs, pointing at his watch as the boys finally realised just what time it was. A blush crept up their cheeks as Kita sighed, walking down to clamp the two of them on the shoulders as he groaned, “I know you two kids are excited, but please wait until the morning to start your adventure. I’m not going to listen to you whining on the phone about freezing to death when you are at the train station at night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think about Osamu going to Tokyo? Let me know your thoughts and feelings! Really need the motivation to write right now... so much is going on to actually give me the energy to sit down and write.


	9. Meeting old faces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Need to get my head out of OsaAka and back to OsaSuna gahhh!!! Dammit I love these ships so much I can't even pick them at this point dammit!!!!

Osamu’s eyes were wide as he looked around the city. The place had changed a lot ever since he passed; more skyscrapers had been added into the skyline and even more people and cars lingered on the streets. Despite him having been here a couple of times across his life, he still couldn’t help but bounce around like a kid being here for the first time.

Suna had to keep him from jumping into the street or into every food store they chanced upon on the way. The only time he allowed him to stop was to have some bubble tea, the wing spiker groaning with satisfaction as he swallowed the black pearls. He smacked his lips as he grinned, bringing up his phone to snap a picture of Suna as the man groaned, “Please don’t do that, it's embarrassing.”

“Come on, it's like we’re on a …”

The words died in Osamu’s mouth as heat began to rise to his cheeks. Wait, no no no. They weren’t on a date! They were supposed to go see Osamu’s mother and Suna was supposed to do his job so why… why did he feel as though they were on a date?!

After some detours, they finally came up to the hospital that Osamu’s mother was in, the building situated right next to the Arakawa river. The boy gulped as he saw the large words written in kanji, his fist clenching at the thought of his father leaving his wife there on her own for so long as he trudged up the steps. Suna followed behind, looking a little out of place as some nurses wheeled patients across the hall, some of the patients muttering gibberish as the nurses spoke to them.

Osamu went up to the reception desk to give his name, giving the nurse a wink as she blushed before showing him the way. Suna rolled his eyes at how easily Osamu could be nice to the ladies; that idiot was similar in that way to his younger twin. Not like he could say anything because he was swept up by his charm as well in the same fashion. Every time Osamu flashed him a smile made his legs turn to jelly and his laugh reminded him of the angels singing from heaven.

Suna gave himself several mental slaps as he heard the nurse rapping her knuckles on the door as she called out, “Narumi-san, your son is here to see you.” She opened the door for the two of them to enter, the two stepping into the room as Osamu’s breath hitched beside him.

The room was a stark white colour, a single painting of the sea hung up on the wall. There was a large window overlooking the street below, the curtains fluttering in the breeze as the polluted Tokyo air flooded into the room. There was only one bed in the room, its occupant turning to smile at them as Osamu felt a tear drop from his eye.

His mother looked so… old. Her hair had turned stark white in just seven years, her skin sagging and her bones protruding from her face. Her eyes had lost their glow, her stormy grey eyes now looking like they were looking into an abyss as she reached out, her hand shaking like a leaf as she rasped, “Osamu? Is that you?”

“Mum,” he whispered as he ran towards her, throwing his arms around her as he sobbed. The woman soothed her son, running her hand through his hair as she pecked a kiss on his head.

“I knew you were still alive.” Suna looked at the ground as Osamu looked up at his mother, his eyes wide as she smiled, “You know, your father keeps telling me that I am crazy and that you are dead. I never believed him; my son wouldn’t die so easily. Even Atsumu was saying the same thing so they put me here, saying I needed to get better. I’ve been waiting for you all to come and bring me home and tell me its all a misunderstanding, but its been so long since one of you have come to say hi.”

Osamu’s heart broke at his mother’s words as the woman smiled, her hand moving to caress his cheek as Osamu pulled up a chair to sit in. He never let go of her hand, running his fingers across her knuckles as he whispered, “I’m so sorry mum. I’m sorry for tearing our family apart.”

“Hush. You did nothing wrong. I’m just happy you came to see me one more time.” Osamu sobbed as Narumi smiled, her hand never leaving her son’s head as she sighed, “Ah, you’re just as young and handsome as I remembered you to be.”

“Stop it…”

“Can a mother not compliment her own son?” she laughed, her voice raspy from the lack of disuse as Suna’s heart broke. He was still in contact with his parents and he even met up with them once every few months but seeing Narumi wasting away when she still had a living husband and son made his heartbreak. Deep down, he knew she had lost all hope to live.

She wasn’t going to make it.

“Ah, and who is this young man?” she asked, her eyes turning to look at Suna as Osamu smiled, “This is Suna. You remember him from our volleyball matches?”

“Ah, Rin-chan. You look so handsome now. Wait, don’t tell me… did you run away from home so you can elope?” she asked as both boys turned bright red. The older Miya laughed as she patted her son on the head, “Oh Osamu. I would never abandon you. You’re my son and I’m proud of any decision you make.”

“We’re not…”

“I don’t mind if I never have any grandchildren. You deserve all the happiness you can get. Rin-chan is a good boy, you have chosen well.”

Suna was still trying not to combust as Narumi beckoned him close, her other hand reaching out for his before taking it into her own. She placed his hand on top of Osamu’s, her cold hand placed on top of theirs as she smiled at the two, “I give you two my blessing. So be happy, alright?” Both of them couldn’t say anything as they nodded, Narumi smiling as she leaned back into her pillows.

“Ah, what a beautiful day it is today,” she smiled as Osamu’s grip on Suna’s hand tightened. He could see how distressed he looked; Osamu looked torn between wanting to let his mother continue living the lie or just tell her the truth. Instead, he reached into his backpack and brought out a container of onigiri, placing it on her bedside table.

“Mum, here’s some onigiri I made.”

“Ah, you always did make such good food. Thank you, Osamu,” she smiled as she yawned, her eyes fluttering shut as she mumbled, “Maybe I will have them for lunch later…”

Her breathing evened out as she fell asleep, her soft snores filling the room as Osamu stood there for a moment. He gave his mother one last hug and a kiss to the forehead, moving to walk out of the room with Suna in tow. Even after they exited the hospital, Osamu had yet to let go of his hand. The twin leaned against the railing, looking out at the river as people continued to go about their business, no one seeming to bother about the boy being in so much distress as Osamu finally stammered, “I can’t believe mum became like this because of me.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Look at her. She’s wasting away. She can’t get past my death and she keeps lying to herself about me still being alive. She looked so frail…I could feel her blood veins when I was holding onto her. I just felt like she would go at any time…” Suna slowly wrapped his hands around Osamu’s waist, trying to calm him down as the boy began to cry. Suna ignored the stares as Osamu spun around and pulled him into a hug, his tears soaking into his shirt as Suna held onto him.

After crying for about 20 minutes, Osamu finally looked up at him. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks red as Suna reached out to wipe away a few stray tears. Osamu merely sniffled as he let Suna pamper him for a bit before realising the other reason they were in Tokyo.

“Wait, why did you want to come to Tokyo again?” Osamu asked as Suna checked his watch, his mouth turning into a scowl.

“Dammit. We have an hour but the stadium is about halfway across the city,” Suna groaned as Osamu’s eyes widened, “Wait, don’t tell me…”

“I’m supposed to write an article about the latest game between the MSBY Black Jackals and Schweiden Adlers. Crap, Iwaizumi is going to kill me if I miss this,” Suna grunted when a certain person popped into his mind, his hand already moving to grab his phone out of his pocket as he dialled in a number.

…

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to sneak him in when he hasn’t got a ticket?” Akaashi grunted as he drove, his eyes narrowed as he focused on the traffic. The editor didn’t look too happy about having a random tag along, Osamu’s face covered with a mask and glasses to avoid Akaashi from recognising him, although it did little to reduce his suspicions as Suna clapped his hands together in apology.

“I’m sorry but he’s a big fan and he always wanted to see a game!”

“Couldn’t you just have bought a ticket for him?”

“You know Bokuto gets a lot of free tickets! And you only use one each time!”

Akaashi pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed, reaching to send the link to Suna’s phone as he grunted, “Don’t you dare make me use my fiancé for these kinds of purposes again. I don’t like taking advantage of him being a V League player to give out freebies.”

“I owe you one, Akaashi,” Suna said as he bowed low, Osamu whistling low at the scene in front of him. He remembered Akaashi from his nationals days, the boy being setter to none other than Fukurodani’s ace, Bokuto Koutarou. While he had been a bit surprised to find out he hadn’t followed him into the V League like he had expected him to, he wasn’t all too surprised to know that the two were engaged. They were just about the two people he had come across to be stuck to each other like glue and suited each other perfectly. With Bokuto’s hyperactivity and Akaashi’s ability to calm him down, these two were basically match made in heaven.

The drive to the stadium was quiet but once they stepped out of the car, the sounds of fans cheering for the players and bands playing songs filled the air, knocking the wind out of Osamu’s chest. It brought back the nostalgic feeling of his own school band playing in the background whenever they walked onto the court, the cheerleaders screaming their names as fans waved fans with the twin’s faces on it. Omimi and Hitoshi were often pretty pissed that the twins were the only ones with a fan club while the rest of them didn’t, often begging for Osamu to give them some of his fans as he pushed them away.

They joined the VIP line, scanning in their tickets as they headed up the bleachers. The stadium was pretty much the same as the one he used to play in for nationals, the court now being prepped for the game as they took their seats. The floor staff were doing last-minute clean-ups of the floor, the referees checking in on one another as the announcers tested their headsets. Cheerleaders occupied the seats next to theirs, a brass band preparing to play as their opponents geared up across. The colours of black and gold adorned their side of the court while the other team sported white with orange accents.

“And here they come! Please welcome the reigning champions of the V League, the Schweiden Adlers who will be playing on their home turd today against the latest additions to the Division 1 Tier, the MSBY Black Jackals!” The crowd roared as they clapped, the sounds of the bands playing nearly making Osamu wince as the teams walked onto the court. The members were huge, most of them towering over 180cm and holding onto the hands of small children. Osamu had often wondered what was the significance of the act.

“Leading the Schweiden Adlers is Ushijima Wakatoshi!” the crowd roared as the man stepped out onto the court, pumping his fist into the air as the crowd screamed his name. Several cameras flashed as each of the players were called out, Suna doing the same as he clicked away with the camera he had stowed away in his bag. Osamu hadn’t even realised that the bag had been big enough to carry it.

_“Eh? What are you doing?” Atsumu groaned as Suna clicked away. A small picture rolled from out from the bottom of the camera, the boy giving it a good shake before showing it to Atsumu who let out a yell, “Woah! This is neat! You should totally go into photography or something!” The picture was of Atsumu setting the ball into the air, the ball right in front of Osamu as the boy went in for the kill. It was the same picture used in their volleyball posters that year and earned the team quite a bit of money mostly due to the girls wanting to see the twins in action._

_“Nah, I don’t think I would be that great…”_

_“You totally should. I mean, you make me look so hot,” Atsumu winked just as a ball went slamming into the back of his head. the boy let out a howl as Osamu growled, “Get your ass back to the game, you moron!”_

_“Why you little…”_

_Kita stepped in between them, giving them two chops on the head before dragging them back onto the court. The coach began yelling at the twins to get their act together, the two sulking for the rest of the game, although Suna felt it was all worth it taking the picture._

“Let’s welcome onto the court Bokuto Koutarou of the MSBY Black Jackals!” Bokuto’s raucous laugh echoed across the stadium as he did cartwheels on the court, shouting Hey hey hey as he went. He even blew Akaashi a kiss as he got back to his feet, flashing a silver band on his finger that made Akaashi smile. The air was alive with cheer and the energy of the players raring to go at it, the men moving forward to shake hands just as the whistle blew.

Osamu had never seen a live game like this and damn, he was floored at how amazing the players were. Watching players he had played against when he was a teenager, now standing on top of the world stage facing off one another alongside pros from different countries made Osamu scream his throat roar. Every spike reminded him of a cannonball being launched, each block making his fingers tingle and the serves, holy shit, he would never be able to pull off something like that. All the while, the fans continued to cheer their team, the players feeding off their support as they fought on.

The game ended with the MSBY Black Jackals winning against the Adlers, the crowd surging to celebrate on the court as the team celebrated. Osamu had screamed himself hoarse and was too tired to move from his seat, merely watching as Akaashi excused himself to go down and greet his fiancé while Suna busied himself with getting his notes together. The poor guy had been spending more time scribbling down notes rather than enjoying the game but Suna didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he felt as though it was a good distraction for him to avoid thinking about the past.

“Suna! Come on down!” a voice called as Akaashi waved at the from the floor. The players had gone to the shower rooms but Bokuto remained behind, trying to give his lover a nuzzle as Akaashi gently pushed him off. Suna and Osamu went down to join them, both giving a bow as Akaashi introduced him, “As you can see, this is Bokuto-san.”

“Come on, Akaashi! Don’t need to be so formal with a fan!” Bokuto groaned as Suna bowed, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Bokuto-san.”

“Nah nah! Thank you for offering to interview me. I’m just gonna hit the showers so I don’t smell like sweat and death so give me a minute, will you? Maybe I might drag Omi-kun along,” Bokuto grinned as he sped off, Osamu’s eyes widening at the nickname. He was rather shocked at how Sakusa was now on the same team as Bokuto; the man hadn’t changed at all ever since his high school days.

Once Bokuto was out of the showers, Suna spent about half an hour talking to him and writing down his interview. Osamu watched with amusement as he held the small recorder in front of Bokuto, his ears and eyes focused on everything the player was saying. Bokuto was speaking rather fast and loudly but Suna showed no signs of getting distracted, his eyes always focused on the game as Akaashi nudged Osamu, the boy flinching a bit.

“So Suna finally managed to move on?” Akaashi asked as Osamu cocked his eyebrow, “What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing… it's just, I haven’t seen him enjoy a match this much until now. I saw him play in the high school volleyball circuit in the past but ever since his friend died… he hasn’t been the same since. He even left volleyball once that happened. It tore Inarizaki apart.” Osamu felt guilt eating away at him as he watched Suna finally concluding the interview with Bokuto.

“I hope you two remain together. He seems to like you a lot, and that’s a lot saying for Suna,” Akaashi smiled as Osamu blushed, “We’re not dating or anything.”

“Ah, I see. Well, I hope you two get together soon,” Akaashi said as Bokuto called them out, Akaashi waving his hand as he reached to yank Osamu to his feet. Bokuto was busy waving his arms in the air as he picked up his fiancé and planted a messy kiss on his cheek, making the man squirm as Suna laughed. Watching the three of them interact reminded Osamu of what could have happened if he were alive. Maybe Suna might even be Bokuto’s teammate or someone famous in the volleyball circuit.

Osamu quickly banished those thoughts from his mind as he walked towards the group, wishing that he would forget about the past and try to focus on the future.

He had been given a second chance in life. He wasn’t going to waste it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this! This was one of my favourite chapters to write and I just needed to slot in my two favourite owls into the mix. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts and feelings on this! They really make my day!


	10. Trips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I want to apologise so much for not updating! I have been having a really hard time in real life and just couldn't concentrate on any writing. I just feel so overwhelmed with myself as a person and my future, questioning everything I do and just making myself feel like shit. And with the news of Haikyuu ending next week, it's just making the reality of losing one of my support pillars even harder and I just feel like crying so much.
> 
> Nevertheless, I will make sure to finish this story and I promise you, I won't abandon this! I love these Inarizaki boys a lot and I will make sure that even though their story will end in real life, that they will have a good ending in fanfiction and that they will live on in our lives through this story.
> 
> Other than the ranting, today is my birthday so yay.
> 
> Enjoy.

“Now this is neat,” Osamu grinned as he held the jacket against his chest. For some reason, Bokuto had ended up giving him a jacket and signing it, the young boy grinning as he held it. He hadn’t heard about the MSBY Black Jackals when he was younger but now it seemed as though they were one of the teams destined to win the League that season. He was even more shocked to learn how many of his previous opponents and even teammates like Aran had gone on to be some of the top members of the League.

Truly a Monster Generation had been born from that time.

Suna had ended up chatting with Akaashi while Osamu spoke to Bokuto. The wing spiker didn’t seem to recognise him at all or even question his questionable outfit, just grinning as he handed him the jacket before heading off with Akaashi for dinner. That left the two boys to stroll by themselves, both of them hopping onto the bus to bring them into the city centre. The sun was beginning to set by the time they pulled up, Suna pressing the bell to stop the bus.

“So, what do you want to do now? It’s pretty late,” Osamu asked as he huddled the jacket around himself. He had thrown it over his current jacket, making him look all puffy. Now that they were away from the volleyball scene, he had taken off his disguise, sighing with relief as he felt the cold wind hit his face. Suna watched as Osamu’s face glittered in the streetlights, his heart thumping as he looked at the destination he had in mind for him this entire time.

“Come on,” Suna said as he grabbed onto his hand, tugging the boy forward as they headed towards the steel structure standing tall in front of them. Osamu sucked in a gasp as they moved through the steel doors, heading past the attractions on the ground floor to move towards the lift. Osamu felt his heart beat harder as they weaved through the crowd, his face growing warmer as Suna yanked him into the lift, slamming his finger to bring them to the top floor. The entire ride up, Osamu didn’t dare to look at Suna.

Since when had he been so bold? As teenagers, Osamu was normally the one who initiated the flirting, Suna crumbling under his gaze as the fox purred his praises. Osamu turned red thinking of how the simple act of holding onto Suna’s hand was now making him blush like a high schooler in love when the doors opened with a ding, hot air blasting against them from the heater as they stepped into the observatory platform.

Osamu gasped as he took in the sight of Tokyo at night, the city bright and alive below him as he ran to the railing. He pressed his hand against the cool glass, a smile spreading across his face as he looked down at Tokyo. He had always wanted to go there one day, especially with Suna. He had even made a list of the top places to visit Tokyo for his first date with the other boy as a teenager, although he knew Suna would not want to go to the tourist spots since he lived there his entire life and was not about to fall victim to pay tons of money for these attractions.

Osamu could see Suna’s reflection in the glass as the man stood behind him. Damn, he still couldn’t believe that Suna was an adult right now, living and working in the city. Suna was currently typing a message into his phone, his shoulders hunched as Osamu resisted the urge to go up and push his shoulders back into position. Suna always did have very bad posture even in their teenage days; Kita would often chide at him wanting to have backaches as an adult in the future while the twins snickered at him.

Now, Osamu just raised his hand and gently tugged Suna’s wrist to stand next to him on the railing, Suna’s hand so much bigger than it had been in the past. The calluses that littered the palms of his hands had now faded after not playing volleyball for so long, instead leaving a smooth surface for the boy to touch and caress as he smiled, “Thanks for bringing me here.”

“You wanted to come here as a teenager last time after I gave you the keychain. I still can’t believe you were so delighted about such a normal tourist keychain.”

“Come on! It can’t be helped since I never went to the city before!” Osamu whined as Suna grinned, reaching out to give Osamu a low pat on the head as the boy’s stomach rumbled. Osamu turned red as Suna mentioned something about finding a place to eat, both of them making their way down to the bottom of the tower when the rain began to pour from the sky. Suna cursed as he realised that he hadn’t brought an umbrella with him when Osamu grabbed his wrist and dragged him out into the rain anyways, Suna barely having any time to protest as Osamu turned to him to grin.

Raindrops fell off his hair as rivets of water curled below his chin. His hair was slowly getting plastered to his face as his face crinkled into a smile. Suna could feel his heart stutter as the boy yanked him forward, his voice nearly drowned out by the sound of the rain as he yelled, “Hey, how about we head to your place? I’ll cook!”

Somehow Suna managed to guide them back to his apartment after a mad dash to the bus station, the bus driver giving them a strange look as the two soaking men walked in and plopped into their seats. The ride back to Suna’s place was quiet, the two of them having to run out again and getting soaked once more, finally making their way into the flat after climbing three flights of stairs without trying to slip.

“Remind me never to run in the rain again. I’m going to kill you if I got sick,” Suna growled as Osamu smirked, “Sorry, I forgot for a moment. Ghosts don’t get sick so I’m perfectly fine.”

“Well, idiots don’t get sick either so if you were alive, it wouldn’t make a difference anyway.”

“Hey!” Osamu grunted as he stepped into the genkan and yanked off his shoes. Suna walked in first to get the shower ready, calling out from the bathroom for Osamu to not trek water on the floor as the boy stepped into the flat.

It was as big as a flat in Tokyo could get. A small kitchen was built into the corner with the bed shoved up against the wall, leaving a bit of space for him to tiptoe around a small table towards the bathroom. The sound of the water running inside could be heard as Suna emerged from the bathroom, instructing him to throw his clothes onto the floor so he could toss them into the wash.

Osamu stepped into the even tinier bathroom as he peeled off his clothes. He quickly wrapped a towel around himself just in case Suna got a peek of him, opening the door with a small crack to pass him his clothes before stepping into the shower. As much as he wanted to sink into the bath, Suna was soaking wet outside waiting for him to finish. Osamu gave himself a quick shower before walking out to see Suna clad in a towel, waiting to enter as Osamu gave a blush.

“Spare clothes are on the bed. Your clothes should be done by tomorrow so wear these for the time being,” Suna said quickly as he stepped into the bathroom. Osamu quickly wiped his memory of anything to do with how good Suna looked in a towel before moving over to sit on the bed. As he tried to wipe away the image of Suna looking so good without a shirt from his mind, he quickly yanked on the clothes that Suna had given him as he tried yet again to stop himself from thinking about Suna.

Speaking of the guy he didn’t seem to have much of a life after graduating high school. His room was sparse, barely with any pictures or items. His closet (which Osamu took a peak in since why not?) only had enough work clothes to last him a week and some random sweats. Osamu felt his fingers run through the worn-out Inarizaki jacket hung in the closet, closing the doors before turning to see their team picture propped up on his bedside table. Next to it was one of him, the twins and Kita-san, although Suna had blocked out the other two in favour of showing Osamu more. Osamu remembered the day being when they had just finished nationals and were going home, Kita still crying over their defeat while the twins tried their best not to cry. Suna had insisted that they took a picture just to relief the mood, Omimi being the one taking it as Kita wiped his eyes.

In the picture, Kita’s eyes were scrunched up as he laughed at the camera. Atsumu had his arm slung around his captain, tears streaming from his eyes as he put on an ugly crying face. Suna and Osamu were standing next to each other a bit awkwardly, although at the time Osamu had wanted to hold onto Suna’s fingers and just squeeze them tight.

“What the hell am I even thinking about?” Osamu groaned as he made his way into the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge and cupboards to find a packet of rice as well as some frozen fish. Seeing that there wasn’t much he could make since half of the food was expired (or none existent since Suna seemed to live off rice and soya sauce), he got to work in making onigiri, spending most of his time reminiscing about the past as he sighed to himself.

What could have happened if he was still alive?

What would have happened if he didn’t make the stupid dare and raced?

What if he had just told Suna he loved him in school?

What if it all didn’t end for him?

The door to the bathroom opening made Osamu nearly jump out of his skin, having not noticed that Suna had been in the bathroom the entire time. He looked more refreshed, having had to seem to taken a bath as Osamu held up the plate of onigiri proudly in his hands. Despite having been dead for seven years, he still knew how to make onigiri.

The two didn’t speak much over dinner, Suna mostly looking as though he just had the best meal he ever had in the past few years of his life. He closed his eyes, his mouth turning red from happiness as he munched into them. Osamu found himself watching Suna, seeing the same boy who would do the exact same thing in class whenever he brought over food. Suna would have a blissed-out expression on his face as he chewed; his already tiny eyes would be closed, his mouth stretched in a smile as he had a few rice grains on his mouth. More than once, Osamu would want to reach out and swipe a grain off his cheek to pop it in his mouth, just to see how amazing the taste of food was to Suna.

“So, who’s gonna be in the bed?”

“Of course it would be you, idiot. I have a spare futon anyways,” Suna groaned as he set the bed. The two of them crawled into their respective beds, awkward silence falling over them. Shit, what happened to the times that Suna would spend hours talking about the most random things, from how Atsumu’s crush on Kita was going nowhere to how Omimi and Kita might potentially get married given how compatible they were as the mum and dad of the team.

“Hey, Suna. Are you awake?” Osamu whispered in the dark only to be met with silence. He bit his lip as he tried to say the words, wishing he could apologise for ever being the idiot to take away everything from his team after what they had done for him.

_“Neh, tell me. After I died… why did all of you quit volleyball?”_

He wanted to say the words so badly but he knew the answer. He was the reason everyone fell apart.

“Sorry for dying,” he whispered as he turned to look out of the window, watching as the lights in Tokyo lit up the darkness he had been part off for so long.

…

Suna wrapped his arms around himself as he sat in the bathtub, very reluctant to leave the bathroom to the outside world where his old crush lingered. Even after all this time, when he was with Osamu, he could feel his world lighting up once more and when he watched the match, he could feel the slightest bit of joy creeping back into him when he saw volleyball. Seeing Osamu smile, curling his fingers through his at the observation tower, holding onto him…. Suna felt more alive than he had in years.

But just what did this all mean? Osamu will disappear soon. He was sure he wouldn’t be in this world long. What could he do until then to make up to him? Would he tell him his love for him or would he bring it to the grave forever?

When he heard Osamu say the words to him that night, he could only feel his heart shatter as he blamed himself for his death. The only thing that the two boys could think of was all the what ifs.

What if Suna hadn’t gone to meet him?

What if Suna had said no?

What if Suna had just confessed?

They will never know but for now, the only thing they could do was remain with one another and try to fix the bond that had been broken seven years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chapter not being as long and possibly being very very boring but please bear with me. I know I'm not the best writer with a million and one excuses to not write but I am trying my best... I really am...
> 
> Comments and kudos will really cheer me up. My heart and soul is just on the brink of dying right now and I just want to curl into a ball and sob about everything going on in life. I don't want Haikyuu to end... I really don't...
> 
> I'm sorry, I'm just so overwhelmed.
> 
> Next chapter should be up within a week.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I nearly had my soul fly out of my body when I saw maggots crawling in the food bin in my kitchen ****. Arghhh I swear I am terrified of those things and I just turned into a ball and nearly screamed at the top of my lungs when I saw them. Luckily my bro saved my skin and disposed of them, bless him... 
> 
> On the bright side, that has given me some inspiration to write to get that damned memory out of my head so here is a new chapter!

Atsumu’s phone lay at the edge of the room, having long been switched off to prevent anyone from reaching him. The man had grown very tired of the incessant calls from the hospital, telling him to get his ass back when he had already told them he was taking an extended leave of absence. For once, he was glad to have been a workaholic who didn’t take any leaves from work, giving him enough time to escape from the hellhole and coup up in the Kita household with his former crush seated across him, both of them shifting through newspaper articles.

Kita remained as regal and calm as ever, sifting through the newspaper articles as though he was holding glass. Atsumu had been tasked with combing the internet for anything related to his brother’s death, his eyes already stinging from looking at the laptop screen for too long. He gently took off his reading glasses, his ears aching from having them latched on for so long before he saw a cup of tea being passed to him.

“You would have never looked at a laptop for a long period of time unless it was something to do with anime or volleyball,” Kita mused, a soft smile playing on his lips as Atsumu felt his heart flare up, “Gotta do what we gotta do. We finally have something going on for us about Samu, I’m going to make sure we get it.”

Murder. His brother was freaking murdered. Even in this tiny shit ass town, how could someone be walking about knowing he had killed an innocent boy about to confess to his love.

If he hadn’t died, maybe Suna and Osamu might even be damn well married now.

Atsumu shook his head as he clicked on the keyboard, an article from 2013 coming up in his face. His eyes widened as he read the article, years of having learnt how to shift through information for his assignments washing back over him allowing him to pick apart the information he needed within minutes. He quickly wrote down the information before clicking the print button, knowing Kita preferred to read a physical copy of an article instead of electronically as Kita looked up from his work.

“Check this out, Kita-san. I found something about Mayor Kobayashi. Turns out he was at some charity event on the day Osamu died and I managed to log into his schedule for the day. Wonder why would someone even post their damn schedule online, who the shit gives a f*** about that?”

“Language, Atsumu,” Kita sighed, although his attention didn’t waver as his junior continued, “At 4.30 pm, he finished wrapping up the event and was heading to a meeting at the hospital where I work. To get there, he would have to take the mountain pass or the main road but the mountain pass would have been quicker. Now, he had about half an hour to get there and it's not exactly near to the hospital from where he was on the other side of town.

What I recalled on that day was that a car was coming in the opposite direction from where I and Samu were racing. His car matches the description Samu and I have about it and judging from the time frame, it must have been him.”

“Atsumu, just because the mayor was there, there might just be a coincidence.”

“But look at this! What is the chance of the person even being in the area at that time? Not many people can even afford that expensive junk of a BMW! Kita-san, we have our guy,” Atsumu grinned, his smile feral as he thought of how he was going to finally bring the man to justice.

Kita scanned through the article and the schedule once more before sighing, crossing his arms as he thought out loud, “This is evidence but how are we going to bring the man to justice? He’s been the mayor for the past ten years and he also has ties with your family hospital. If you do anything rash…”

“I don’t give a damn about the hospital. To hell with it for all I care. As long as I get vengeance for Samu…”

The door slammed open before Atsumu could finish his sentence, the man standing on the threshold fuming as he held onto the door for support. The older Miya scowled at them before his eyes landed on his son, Atsumu looking the slightest bit scared at his father’s appearance as he scowled, “And just what about the hospital were you swearing about, Atsumu?” The tension in the air was crackling as Kita debated on whether to speak for his junior. His experience of Atsumu running his mouth when he was pissed didn’t bring back fond memories but now, Atsumu was an adult.

He could handle this on his own. It was a family matter.

“Well, I was just saying that the person who is busy sponsoring our already rich as f*** hospital might just be the one responsible for Osamu’s death.”

“Atsumu, that’s enough! The mayor would never hurt anyone and Osamu’s death was an accident! Its been ruled out by the court already!”

“What?! Don’t you even care about how he died?! I swore that he wouldn’t die in such a manner if someone hadn’t decided to knock him over!”

“Atsumu, you’re being delusional! He’s been dead for seven years! You can’t bring him back even if you dig up evidence!” the older Miya looked ready to explode, his fingers gripping the wood hard enough to splinter his fingers as Atsumu got to his feet. The table rattled as the tea spilt over slightly onto the table, Atsumu snatching his father and slamming him against the wall hard enough for the walls to rattle.

“Atsumu,” Kita started as Atsumu yelled, “How could you not want justice for your son?! Osamu died so suddenly, mum went mad and is now in a mental hospital and you don’t even care about that?! What the hell is wrong with you?! Are you worried that you would lose sponsorship if the truth is revealed? Is money more important than your family? Neh, answer me, you damn bastard!” Atsumu hadn’t realised he had begun to cry, his fingers clutching onto his father’s shirt slacking ever so slightly as his father frowned. His expression didn’t change as he pried his son’s fingers off him, sighing as he straightened himself.

“I was afraid you might become like this. You have always had a weak mind, just like your mother.”

“What, are you saying I am going mad now?”

“I’m saying that you need to get in control of your feelings and get your head into your work! I can’t work for much longer and need someone to take over! We have a chance to expand and for you to make a career out of yourself as a doctor! Don’t let Osamu’s death get in the way of it.” Atsumu’s father sighed as he moved to the door, his gaze sharp as he looked into his son’s eyes.

“Don’t dig into the past anymore. The dead can never come back. Osamu wouldn’t want you to keep thinking about him, wouldn’t he?” The door slammed shut as Atsumu slid to his knees, his lips wobbling as he held up shaking hands. He hadn’t yelled at the old man for ages, mostly avoiding him at work and at home. Not once had he yelled at him about Osamu and wanting justice for him.

How could his father treat his older son’s death as not important?

“There there,” Kita whispered as he scooted over to Atsumu to hold onto him. He slowly wrapped himself around the younger Miya twin as he broke into sobs, Kita stroking his hair as he marvelled at how soft it was. He wished he could curl his fingers through his hair, gently massaging the boy to sleep the way he used to back in their younger days. Atsumu’s golden locks were now nearly faded back to their original colour after years of not maintaining it, his face no longer had the irritating smirk that drove him nuts.

Atsumu let out one more sniffle before rubbing his eyes, wiping his hand over them before slapping himself hard on the cheeks. He wiggled himself out of Kita’s grasp before turning to grab his phone and car keys, looking back to give Kita a hand to stand up as he gave a weak smile, “Come on, we have a murderer to catch.”

…

Mayor Kobayashi Hisashi has always been a man who knew what he wanted and made sure everything would go his way. Growing up in a wayside town in the countryside meant that when someone were to open their mouth and promise development and great things, people would be drawn to them like a moth to light.

After graduating from a good university in Tokyo and coming back to his hometown, Kobayashi made sure to rise through the ranks of politics, a very murky and messy world no one wanted to be a part of.

Politics was the most brutal battlefield in the world; with words, a person could send many people to their knees and strip them of their livelihood. Koyabashi started with the dream to make his hometown great and develop it to the best potential but over time, greed began to seep him. passion was replaced with ambition.

Ambition led to hunger.

Hunger led to power.

Power led to greediness.

Greediness led to sacrifices.

Kobayashi sighed as he felt his phone ring yet again from an unknown number. Being a politician, it was normal to get phone calls indicating threat and what not but he had grown used to it. Not many people agreed with his modern methods of taking away the old and replacing them with the new. People weren’t very happy about his recent proposition about uprooting the cherry blossom tree located near Inarizaki High either. How could people of this day and age belief in such a stupid fairytale such as luck and miracles?

“Sir, your phone is ringing once more,” his secretary seated in the front seat called as Kobayashi pinched his nose, “Just drive. This call should be just a scam.”

“But the number has been calling you at least ten times now. I have traced it back to the personal mobile of Miya Atsumu, son of Miya Suzuki of Miya Hospital.”

“The son of the Director? What would he want?” Kobayashi grunted. He had met the older Miya many a time to discuss plans of redevelopment and expansion of the hospital. Despite them being a small town, Director Miya’s fame as a surgeon and the director of a well-established specialist hospital had brought many people from around the prefecture over to their town to seek treatment. Suzuki was a man with ambition and just like Kobayashi, he was willing to do anything to get what he wanted.

To the point he had even removed his older son from the picture when he died. He hadn’t so much mourned about the boy, giving him a quick burial without doing much of an autopsy.

Miya Osamu. That boy’s name brought a tingling sensation to the back of the Mayor’s mind as they pulled into the underground parking lot of the main office building, the driver letting out a shout when he slammed on the brakes. Kobayashi nearly smashed his face against the front seat as his secretary swore, the man adjusting his glasses to see a young man with blonde hair standing in front of them. The smile on his face was feral and when he opened his eyes, Kobayashi all but felt his knees grow weak as the man grinned.

Miya Atsumu looked very very familiar from a ghost that haunted his past.

“Well hello, Mayor Kobayashi. May I have a word with you?”

“Dr Atsumu. What brings you here to the office?” his secretary asked as Atsumu smirked. While Suzuki was all about directing his authority right in your face with a stern look, Atsumu was all about giving a smile that dissects you bit by bit.

“I just want a word with the mayor. Won’t be five minutes. If you could leave us, that would be great.” His secretary was about to protest when Kobayashi held up his hand, signalling him to stay silent as he sighed, “Leave us. I will join you inside in five minutes.” His secretary gaped at hi as Kobayashi nodded, turning to open the car door and stepping out while his car whisked away down the parking lot. Atsumu merely stood in front of him now, hands in his pockets when Kobayashi cleared his throat.

‘So, how may I help you today?”

“Seven years ago, my brother died on the 16th of March, 2013. He fell off his bike and fell into the ravine to knock his head on some rocks, dying from blood loss and blunt force trauma. The police ruled it out as an accident and never investigated further, which was where you come in.” Atsumu removed the folder he had tucked under his arm before pulling out what appeared to be his old schedule, Kobayashi eying it as memories came back to him. The charity event had been a success and he had sealed a good deal with the Miya Hospital Board of Directors that day. He even managed to have a good amount of booze at one of them.

“On the 16th of March, you had a charity event at 4.30 pm at Lonely Voices Charity halfway across town. You then had a meeting with Miya Hospital Board of Directors to discuss funding to build a new hospital wing at 5 pm. Since it would be tight for you to drive through the main road with traffic, you most likely would have taken the mountain pass to reach your destination earlier.”

“And what of it? Can’t someone use the path as they wish?”

“I had a look at your charity event report. They did manage to take some lovely pictures of you. Quite a number of witnesses did say you were drunk out of your ass, which was a miracle that you even managed to drive without having the cops catch you on the way. But guess being the mayor has its perks right?”

“What are you going at, boy?”

“Do you remember a boy who looks just like me, except with grey eyes?” Atsumu snarled as he leaned forward, Kobayashi taking an involuntary step back as the twin asked, “Do you remember the look of his face, the terror when he got his and fell to his death?” Kobayashi raked his brain for the answers only to remember complaining about his car having a dent at one point. Everything that had happened during the trip to the hospital that day had been a blur but he recalled the sound of a thump and grey hair falling to the side. He had been too much in a rush to stop and check, thinking he must have hit the side of the divider.

Wait, he couldn’t have. He had no recollection of it at all.

“Drunk driving. Murder of a high school student who’s father you are having multiple dealings with. Don’t you think that’s a sign of you being thrown behind bars and losing everything?” Atsumu all but purred as Kobayashi gulped internally, “You have no proof of me doing this.”

“Oh, I have all the proof I need. I just need you to confess.”

“Do you think now would be a good time to even bring up something of the past?”

“Its my twin you’re talking about you dumbass! Of course, I want to know who was the sick bastard who left him to die when he could have gotten help!” Atsumu yelled as he reached out to smash Kobayashi against the wall behind him. The mayor let out a yell as some securities guards burst through the nearby doors, his secretary with his phone in hand as Kobayashi threw out a hand to stop them.

“What are you going to do, Dr Atsumu? If you hurt me, you risk losing your license.”

“If you tell me the truth, maybe I will settle with knocking out your teeth,” Atsumu growled as the man laughed, “And you really think you can dig up the truth? As if anyone would want to listen to someone like you. A rash kid who was forced to inherit the family fortune. You’re nothing but someone who rides the tailcoats of his parents. Even if I did kill Osamu, maybe it’s a blessing he didn’t turn out to be a brat like you. People die all the time, not like his death matters in the end.” Kobayashi pushed Atsumu off as he straightened his tie, the twin glaring at him as Kobayashi muttered, “Excuse me but I have work to do.” He stepped away from him and headed into the building, the guards giving Atsumu a glare before heading back inside.

“Sir, are you alright? What did he want?” his secretary blurted as Kobayashi let out a sigh, “Just thinking about a ghost from the past.”

…

“You didn’t have to do that you know,” Kita sighed as Atsumu got back into the car, the doctor slamming the door a bit harder than he should have as he strapped on his seatbelt. He sank into his seat to let out a sigh of relief before holding up the recorder he had been keeping onto the entire time.

“Let’s hope with this, we can actually do something.”

“You looked really cool earlier,” Kita smirked as Atsumu blushed, “Kita-san!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is a little rushed and might be a bit klunky in some places but hope you guys enjoyed it!
> 
> Dammit, another 24 hours or so until Haikyuu manga ends. You guys ready for it? Cuz I ain't at all. Its going to be so strange to see that Haikyuu has officially ended tomorrow after following it every week for the past four years of my life (sobbing in the corner of the room and contemplating life without these boys growing anymore). Aside from that, please no spoilers and respect the wishes of those who want to read it tomorrow, me included. Been avoiding Twitter and Tumblr like the plague for the past few days because it it.
> 
> Have a good night!


	12. Second chances in life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got into the mood to sit down and finish writing this story. Arghh just trying to stop myself from going mad thinking that today will finally be the day Haikyuu will end!!!
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!!!

Miya Suzuki drummed his fingers on top of his desk, his vein throbbing as he tried to calm himself down. The man had just about enough stress on his plate to make him go nuts but with the file resting in front of his eyes, he was about to explode if given the chance.

Atsumu had handed him a file and walked out, not wanting to deal with his father’s outburst as the Director went through the documents. Pictures and newspaper cuttings of Osamu’s death and the schedule of the Mayor on the day of Osamu’s death lay scattered across the desk, Suzuki groaning as he recalled what happened that day.

Miya Hospital was at that time a small but blooming establishment. After years of recruiting specialists that enabled the hospital to become a hotspot for people to visit across the prefecture, Suzuki had been wanting to expand his premises when the Mayor came up with a solution. If he were to comply with certain conditions, he would help with the expansion of the hospital. Suzuki had grabbed onto the chance despite how he knew that Kobayashi was someone who dug out money from illegal means, only seeing his end goal to earn more money.

If the authorities were to find out about this, he could very well lose the hospital and his reputation would go to rot. Heck, Atsumu would be the one in deep shit as the heir to the Board but the boy couldn’t give a damn about inheriting an empire built on the crimes and blood of others. The younger twin had made it clear that even if Suzuki were to have lost everything, Atsumu would have no regrets on the outcome as long as Kobayashi faced time behind bars for Osamu’s murder.

And there he thought the boy’s brain had only been stuffed with volleyball. Out of his sons, Osamu had been the one with a clearer mind and the person he wanted to be a doctor. He didn’t know what possessed him to let the twins take up volleyball and now, he regretted having ever made the decision.

If he never let them take up the sport, maybe Osamu would still be alive. He was aware of his son’s crush, a boy in his high school days that made his son swoon every time he came over. While Suzuki himself didn’t have the best marriage having had an arranged one, that didn’t stop him from seeing how the two boys got along better than friends should.

Suzuki slowly reached out to take the framed picture on his desk, his thumb running over the picture as he felt his cold heart melt ever so slightly. In it was a picture of the family, Atsumu throwing up a peace sign as Osamu sighed at the camera. His wife was smiling as she held onto her sons, Suzuki standing behind the group as Suna took the picture. That was the first time the boys had ever met the Tokyo boy and little did they know they would end up in the same class and volleyball team.

_“Atsumu, why did you even dye your hair?” Suzuki growled as Atsumu stuck his tongue, “Come on! Everyone can’t tell shit between me and Samu! Bout time we have something to distinguish us, although I’m way more dashing than him.”_

_“And Osamu, why did you dye your hair as well?”_

_“Change of pace?”_

_“Seriously Osamu! Why do you have to copy whatever I do?!” Atsumu whined as his twin cuffed him on the back of the head. Their mother chided at them from the kitchen to hurry up for their entrance ceremony before they pulled each other’s hair out. Osamu already had a few strands of dirty blond hair in his hand, Atsumu locking him in a headlock as Suzuki pinched the bridge of his nose._

“Osamu, would you forgive this old man for what he did?” Suzuki whispered as he felt a single tear trek down his eye, dropping onto the face of his son that he didn’t know had been given a second chance in life.

…

Kita sighed as he leaned back in the reclining chair in the hotel, taking in the view that the place provided. Since they began their investigation, Atsumu hadn’t stepped one foot into the Miya household, electing to stake out in a nearby hotel until they sorted things out. His phone was chucked in the corner, turned off for the entire week they had been there so he wouldn’t be bombarded by messages from his brother or Suna.

Kita had been a participant in this small getaway, Atsumu saying he needed his help and knowing Suna and Osamu needed time alone, it would have been better if he did it with him. Kita didn’t have to be a genius to know the boy wanted to spend some time with him as well; they did end high school on a bad note and never managed to sort out their feelings.

Now, Atsumu sat across from him, his butt planted on the soft carpet that ran along the room. The small coffee table in front of him was littered with Starbucks cups and papers, miraculously managing to not spill anything on the documents as he typed away. Atsumu took a drag from his coffee, grimacing at it before continuing to type yet another long email, his eyes were bloodshot from having gone at it from hours until Kita finally spoke up.

“Get some rest, Atsumu. We can continue this another day.”

“No can do, Kita-san. Osamu has waited for seven years. I’m going to make sure to crack this before then,” Atsumu murmured as he finished sending the email. He took off his glasses, pressing the back of his hands into his eyes as he let out a groan. He had managed to get the documents about the deal with his father from his secretary (after making sure to throw in a deal she couldn’t back out off) and now managed to compile it all and send it over to one of his lawyer acquaintances to go through. They were so close to cracking this case; Atsumu thought he might have done better at law given how good he was at snooping and getting information out of people.

Atsumu felt a gentle hand rubbing along his shoulder, instinctively leaning into Kita’s touch as he let the man drag him to the bed. He felt his eye slowly shutting as he crashed onto the soft sheet, not realising how much he had been running on adrenaline and coffee for the past few days as Kita pressed a hand on his head.

“I will take care of it. Get some rest,” Kita said, Atsumu cracking open his eyes to look at Kita. Even though he had aged, he still looked as beautiful as he had been at age eighteen. Atsumu reached out to grab onto his hand, his long fingers circling around his former captain’s wrist as he croaked out, “Kita-san, please stay for a bit.” He felt the bed shifting as Kita sat on his bed, his hand moving to intertwine his fingers through Atsumu’s as the former setter sighed.

“Say, Atsumu. You never did tell me why you wanted to meet me under the cherry blossoms on my graduation day,” Kita whispered as Atsumu chuckled. Oh, how he had planned to confess to him under the cherry blossoms with the flowers falling around them to paint them in a pink hue. Kita would be smiling as he got down on one knee, smiling as he told him of his undying love.

After all these years, he still loved Kita as much as he did last time.

Whenever he was all alone and in a rough patch, when he needed something to hold onto to hope for, Kita’s face was the main thing that kept him going.

_“I love you, Shinsuke. At that time and now, I still loved you. I wished that we had managed to get together but I don’t know if we ever will. Osamu is gone, Suna is torn apart. I don’t know if we can ever experience the happiness they should have got if Osamu hadn’t died._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you, Shinsuke._

_Please be mine.”_

Instead of saying those words, he smiled as he brought Kita’s hand to his lips, kissing the back of it as he felt Kita stiffen against it. He didn’t open his eyes as he smiled, not wanting to see if he was disgusted by what he had done or the feelings he had for him.

Just for a while more, he will bury them deep inside, away from the world.

“Thank you for everything, Kita-san.”

…

Suna looked up from his laptop to stare at Osamu who was sweeping the leaves on the front porch. The Miya twin was whistling a tune under his breath, his jacket wrapped around his shoulders as steam puffed out from his lips. He looked beautiful in his shrine outfit, Suna wishing he could have had the chance to go to the festival with him in a kimono or even see him perform at the shrine for the yearly dance the shrine always had.

He and Osamu had come back to find the house empty save for Kita’s granny, the older woman informing them that Kita would be away for business for a while and that they could stay at home to do their work. Suna was busy editing his article for Volleyball Monthly, editing the interview he had with the team as he squinted his eyes. He read the final bit at the end where he had stated Bokuto and Akaashi’s engagement, the picture having been snapped at the perfect moment as they held onto each other.

The two of them had been so happy, Suna almost wanted to rip away their happiness.

Suna saved his work as he stared out at the front porch, his mind going ways to how things would have panned out if Osamu hadn’t died. Maybe they would have been married, having a small house in Hyogo, the smell of cooking filling the air. Suna might have been a volleyball player, travelling all over the country to play while Osamu brought his onigiri everywhere. They had joked about Osamu opening branches all over Japan and travelling to support him, drawing in the crowd with his onigiri and smile.

Osamu leaned against his broom and stared up at the sky, taking a deep breath as he smiled. He looked so alive, how could he possibly be dead?

There was a knock on the door as Granny Kita stepped in, the older woman smiling as she set down some tea. Suna thanked her for it as he took a sip, the old woman kneeling beside him as she asked, “Something on your mind, Rintarou-kun?”

“Bachan, I don’t know what to do anymore. Osamu being here seems like a dream and I wished I could be here by his side forever, but I have to return to Tokyo soon.” Suna tried not to think of the email Akaashi and Iwaizumi had sent him asking about his return to the office. He was a working adult, he couldn’t be away for too long. V League season is well underway and he needed to get his head into the game.

“You know, when Shinsuke’s grandfather died, I had the wish to see him once more. At that time, Shin-chan was still in a different city with his parents and his grandfather passed away suddenly from a stroke. At that time, I was so lonely that I wished to see him again under the cherry blossoms where he proposed to me. The gods must have heard my prayers as, after that, he appeared before my eyes, and I felt like 17 once again.” The look on the old woman’s face was fond as she traced her kimono, her eyes looking sadly at the boy outside. How young love could be both beautiful and tragic was something she never understood.

“Make sure you tell him your feelings. Once the cherry blossoms have all but gone, Osamu will have to return to the other side,” she said sadly as Suna bit his lip, his hand fisting on his lap as he tried not to think of the list of things he wanted to do with Osamu while he still could.

Did Osamu know his fate and if he did, would he be selfish enough to grant Suna the one thing he yearned from him with all his heart; his soul?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I nearly cried when rewatching the drama and the song that inspired this story dammit... gahh been a while since I watched such a good J drama.


	13. The beginning of the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a chapter update before bedtime. This chapter is a bit cluttery but hope you guys enjoy reading it!

Osamu yawned as he opened his eyes, stretching out on his futon as light streamed through from the open curtains. For some reason, Osamu never liked to be in a dark room nowadays, opting to wake up to the sun shining in his face. Luckily for him, Atsumu was somewhat a heavy sleeper, not waking up even if the sun shone right in his face for several hours straight across even when they were teenagers. Making him get up for school proved to be a nightmare he had to go through every day, their mother going to the point of pouring a bucket of ice-cold water with the ice cubes still inside on top of his head when he nearly made them late for nationals.

Atsumu lay curled up on his back, his arms spread wide as he snored. A large snot bubble had formed from his nose, slowly expanding as he slept on. Osamu tried his best not to pop it as he got up and folded his futon up, going to the bathroom to freshen up and pull on his clothes before stepping outside into the brisk April air. He shuddered as he went to do his morning prayers at the shrine before getting to work in sweeping the floor; no matter how much he cleaned, the floor would always have a ton of leaves littering the surface.

The past few days had mainly involved him watching the other flit about their lives. Atsumu and Kita had some business out of town for the past few days after they got back from Tokyo but returned soon after, Atsumu going back to work in the hospital to come back to the shrine to sleep. Apparently, he had a bad argument with their father that didn’t end too well and wanted out of the Miya household for the time being. When Osamu had asked Atsumu why he didn’t just get a place of his own, the blonde had replied that he didn’t want to live in a house on his own and if he left their old home, it would be leaving Osamu behind for good.

Osamu watched the leaves being gathered up by the wind, sweeping across the ground before swirling in the sky. The sun made him squint as he looked up to see the leaves rising into the sky, the flowers slowly going into full bloom as he felt his heart ache.

He knew he didn’t have much time left on this earth. How was he going to spend the last of it the best he could?

…

The front door to the hospital was filled with reporters, cameras clicking away and voices chattering as they awaited the arrival of the Director of the hospital. Atsumu waited on the first-floor balcony, watching as the nurses and doctors present try to calm down the patients or keep them away from the cameras as reporters tried to clamber their way in. already some security guards had to be called to keep the masses back and Atsumu almost felt guilty for what he had done.

Almost.

With the help of his ex-teammate, Hitoshi, who happened to be a lawyer who helped him dig up the case of Osamu’s death, the good doctor had brought up the case to the media and exposed what his father and the mayor had done that led to Osamu’s death. Within hours of the article going public, Miya Hospital had been plunged into chaos, his father questioned by the board as well as his own staff rioting against him for doing such dealings behind them. His stocks crashed, his reputation went to hell and just like that, Miya Suzuki lost everything.

The mayor, on the other hand, had been apprehended in his own office by the police and escorted off. Atsumu had received a message from Inspector Sawamura Daichi that they had brought the Mayor in for questioning and after getting interrogated by Daichi, he had confessed and would now await a life behind bars for his crimes. Turns out Osamu’s death wasn’t the only crime he had committed; fraud, bribery, murder, the list goes on enough to put Kobayashi behind bars for several lifetimes.

Atsumu felt a hand on his shoulder as he turned to see Nurse Shimizu standing behind him, her hair pulled back in a bun as she nodded at him. She had been one of the few people he had trusted with what was going on and she had backed him up in his decision to drag his father’s name down even if it meant for them losing their jobs and him losing his license. Hitoshi said that he would be in the clear and he should be able to build the hospital back up once his father was kicked off the board but Atsumu didn’t know if he could do this. He wasn’t a leader. People hated him on the court, they hated him in the classroom, he was even hated among his colleagues in the hospital.

Would he be worthy to stand on the court once more to lead the team?

“Don’t worry, you can do this. You’re strong and brave enough to bring to light the crimes of a powerful man, even bringing down your father and risking your reputation. You can do this.”

“I hope so. At least now, Osamu can rest in peace.” Shimizu gave his shoulder another squeeze before moving to join the other nurses and usher them back to work, Atsumu making his way down the stairs when he heard the elevator door open with a ding. His father stepped out with the board of directors, his eyes downcast as the reporters flocked into the hospital, knocking the guards aside as they fought to ask questions.

“Is it true that you and Mayor Kobayashi had been collaborating behind the scenes to build the hospital based on bribery money?”

“Is it true that Mayor Kobayashi was the one who murdered your son?”

“How do you feel about finding out that Osamu was murdered?”

Suzuki didn’t answer the questions as he kept his head bowed, his heart already threatening to break. He didn’t want to dig up the painful memory of finding out his son was dead; as much as he had a heart of ice, he still loved his sons deep down. If there was one thing he ever regretted, that was that what he had done that day indirectly caused Osamu to die.

If he hadn’t accepted the deal, Osamu wouldn’t have been knocked off the cliff and died.

“Father!” Atsumu yelled as the cameras turned to the young doctor in training, their cameras flashing as they tried to ask him questions.

“What do you feel about having to take over the hospital?”

“I heard you were unlikable on the court due to your personality. Are you able to take the reins of such an establishment and bring its reputation back?”

“How do you feel about your brother’s murderer being behind bars?”

“Shut up dammit!” Atsumu yelled as the voices fell silent. Some of the reporters took a few steps back as Atsumu growled, his eyes screaming murder as he shouted, “Can you all mind your damn business? I lost a brother seven years ago so can you just let him rest in peace! Even if you bring up the past, he will never ever come back so shut your traps and focus on some real news!” Some cameras clicked, Atsumu knowing his reputation would probably get worse, not like it could get any worse as he glared at the cameras.

“I may have exposed my father and brought the hospital down, but I intend to make sure it gets back up. I will not let it fall into ruin just because of my father making a mistake. I will build it back up; I don’t care if you all hate me or whatever. To hell with that. I’m going to do my job as a doctor which is to save lives, not please the masses so if you will excuse us, we have to get back to work so get your slimy asses out of our hospital!”

Ours. Atsumu couldn’t call it his own. It was still his father’s after all as well as the workplace of many nurses and doctors. It belonged to them. They were a team.

This was their court, and Atsumu would lead them into battle.

“Father. I don’t want to seek your forgiveness for all of this but I promise you, I will make sure Miya Hospital remains a place for people to recover and rest.” _You’re still my father despite how much I hate you. I want to tell you to rot in hell for what happened and for treating me and mum like trash. I want you to rot in hell._

Suzuki looks up at his son, his eyes glistening behind his glasses as he rubbed away a stray tear. Atsumu nearly didn’t catch the action as Suzuki turned his head, his mouth moving as the reporters circled around him like a flock of vultures as Atsumu felt his chest tighten.

“You’ve grown so much, Atsumu.”

…

“Didn’t expect the guy to come back into the volleyball world like this,” Akaashi muttered over the phone as Suna scrolled through his phone. News of Atsumu becoming the new Director of Miya Hospital had flooded even national news, the ex-player now having to take the reins of the hospital after the truth behind Osamu’s murder had been dug up. Osamu himself already knew of the news after Kita and Atsumu sat down and talked with them about it, Suna still reeling at it all as they tried to take it in.

It was all over. They have finally found out the reason why Osamu died.

Suna couldn’t help but feel that Osamu’s death was almost in vain. Politics never brought anything good to the world other than pain and when the cards were played wrong, lives were lost.

With that out of the way, Suna was even more lost at what to do about his feelings with Osamu. He had been burying himself in his work of interviewing volleyball players through Skype and even doing an article of the current Inarizaki Boys team since they were some of the favourites to win nationals this time round. Suna was due to interview Hinata, a kid he remembered from his high school days that used to adore the twins and was now a wing spiker on the team as well as Kageyama Tobio, a Sendai raised kid who moved to Hyogo due to family reasons, an up and coming setter who was on the same level as Atsumu.

Heck, these kids could even play for the Olympics one day. A dream that the guys once had; Atsumu setting to Kita and Osamu, Suna blocking every ball out of the way.

“Suna, are you alright?” Akaashi asked as Suna ran a hand through his hair. His time in Hyogo was running out as well. He needed to get back to work in Tokyo if he was to keep his job; his boss wasn’t going to allow him to take a break forever.

“I don’t know what to do Akaashi…”

“Is it about your crush?” Suna nearly choked as Akaashi chuckled, “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. So, what are you going to do about him?”

“I want to tell him that I love him but I don’t know how long he will be here. He could leave at anytime and I don’t want to have my heart broken or his broken when we have to part.” Suna was never meant to be with Osamu, he could never be with him. One will be seventeen forever and another growing as time passes.

“Suna, isn’t it better to tell someone your feelings rather than keeping it in and never finding out if they ever did love you?”

“I don’t want to get hurt or hurt him.”

“If you never try, you never know,” Akaashi sighed from the other side as Suna groaned internally. Outside, he could see Osamu sweeping the floor, his hair tousled in the wind. Suna wished he could wrap him in his arms and dance with him in the wind or just bring him to the volleyball court and play with him once more.

Volleyball… that was what brought them all together. Him, Iwaizumi, Akaashi, Atsumu, Kita, Osamu.

They were all connected through volleyball.

“Akaashi, I will try.”

“Good. Now, I need to get back to work or Iwaizumi will have my head.”

“If it means interviewing your beloved fiancé, I would hardly call that work.” Akaashi chuckled into the phone just as Suna heard the faint echo of a voice behind him, whining at how he was not giving him enough attention as Akaashi groaned, “Why did I even agree to his proposal?”

“Because you love the idiot.”

“Alright, I gotta go deal with this guy. Hope you sort out our feelings.”

“Have fun with your ‘interview’,” Suna snickered, knowing full well that the two were at home right at the moment and in the bedroom. He could almost feel Akaashi smirking against the phone before ending the call, Suna sighing as he looked up from his laptop and gazed outside to see Osamu coming into the house. The boy slipped out of his shoes, toeing his way into the room to plop right down next to Suna and cuddle into his side.

“Neh, Sunarin. What you up to?”

“Work.”

‘Man you sound so boring and you’re not even 30 yet,” Osamu mumbled as he stared at the contents of what Suna had written. Suna watched as Osamu’s eyes scanned the page, the way his lip curled into a small smile as he read the contents.

“Funny how we finally managed to solve what happened to me. I don’t know whether to be happy though since dad could be thrown into prison and all.” Osamu ran a hand through his hair before flopping down on his back, his hands curling behind his head, “The world is so crazy, isn’t it? One moment you’re alive and the next minutes you’re dead. At this point, I wondered if it was a good thing if I didn’t become a boring old man like you.”

“Shut it,” Suna groaned as Osamu chuckled. He gave Suna’s thigh a poke, rolling on the ground to perch his elbows on Suna’s thighs. Suna did his best not to crumble at how Osamu looked at him, a smile playing on his face, that damned fox as he said, “Suna, let’s go to the court once more.”

“How are we going to do that?”

“You have an interview with Shouyou, don’t you? Heard he has a setter that rivals even Tsumu.”

“Don’t think it would be a good idea to spook the kid with you being back to life and all of that.”

“I don’t think he will care. He doesn’t have enough brain cells for that and I don’t think he could rat us out,” Osamu chuckled as he poked Suna in the stomach.

“You know you can get in trouble for this right?”

“What are you going to do, shoot me? I’m already dead. Can’t get punished for that.” Osamu smirked at the dark joke as Suna sighed, “Fine. But we’re bringing Kita and Atsumu.”

“The old group back together? That would be interesting,” Osamu grinned as the boy blew Suna a kiss. Suna blushed internally, hoping Osamu wouldn’t see the amount of red creeping up his neck as the twin thought, “Just this once, let me stand on the court with you guys once more.”


	14. Back on the court

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bought so much Haikyuu merch holy shit... this is going crazy.

“Ah, this brings back memories!” Osamu smiled as they drove into the parking lot of Inarizaki High School. The parking lot was empty save for their car since it was the weekend, the team having been given the Sunday off to rest. Although that didn’t mean squat to the two boys currently playing in the gym waiting for their arrival.

Atsumu was behind the wheel, Osamu chiding at him driving while the younger twin snapped at him to shut up. Osamu still couldn’t believe his younger brother could drive an expensive car without crashing it, choosing to sit at the back since he didn’t trust his driving. Kita was more than happy to sit shotgun, humming a low tune under his breath as he watched the twins bicker. Suna contented himself with glancing out of the window, letting the twin’s bickering fill his ears with background noise as he watched the trees pass.

When he had first came to Hyogo, he had thought how boring it was compared to the big city he had grown up in. With his mother needing a change of environment to accommodate her poor health, the family had moved in with her parents who were from Hyogo. Suna had been reluctant to leave behind his junior high team whom he had promised to go to nationals with and join Inarizaki High School on the spring of his first year.

When he reached the school gates, he had seen Osamu and Atsumu standing with their parents, the two boys bickering amongst each other as their mother tried to calm them down. Their father sighed as he watched his sons try to tear each other’s hair out when Mrs Miya had noticed Suna staring at the group before giving him a smile and wave.

“Sorry, but can you take a picture of us before these two murder each other?”

“Mum, don’t do that! hey, stop copying me!” the twins snapped together as Mr Miya grabbed them by their shoulders and forced them to pipe it down. Some girls passing by gave some squeals as Atsumu gave them a peace sign, Osamu reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone for Suna to use as he handed it to him. Suna had felt his heart leap for just a moment when Osamu’s hand grazed his, his callused fingers long and soft as he murmured, “If you will.”

“Thanks,” Suna had muttered as the group got together for the picture, Suna taking several shots for them before giving the phone back. The family had then scurried into the school, Suna’s own parents showing up after parking the car as they headed into the gym.

Later that day, Suna had been herded into the volleyball club gym by an enthusiastic Omimi, Aran chiding for him to not bully the younger kids as Suna stepped onto the court. It was slightly smaller than that of his Tokyo middle school but when he saw the players spiking and setting on the court, Suna couldn’t help but feel blown away by the sheer power of their strikes.

“Samu!’ a voice called as a body rose into the air, the blonde Miya twin from earlier grinning as he tossed the ball perfectly into the air. The sound of the ball hitting his fingers just right sent it flying through the air as Suna felt a rush of wind behind him, Osamu flying into the air with his arm whipped back as he slammed it down onto the court. The look on his eyes was much more different than the bored look of indifference from earlier, making Suna’s stomach turn when he saw how happy he looked in the air.

Beautiful.

“Earth to Suna! We’re here! How are we going to go about this anyway? I doubt Kageyama even knows anything about Osamu being alive and Hinata might just have a heart attack when he sees him,” Atsumu called from the driver’s seat as he killed the engine.

“I will handle it,” Kita reassured him with a pat on the shoulder, the group getting down from the car as Suna shivered in his shorts. Osamu had insisted that they wore their old Inarizaki uniforms, Suna borrowing one of Atsumu’s spare shirts and shorts as they headed inside. He had no idea how the hell he managed to survive running in the winter in shorts back in his high school days; young people sure had it lucky when it came to stamina.

“Atsumu-san! Kita-san!” a voice yelled from the gym as a small ball of sunshine barrelled out of the gym followed by a yell, “Boke! Get back here! We’re not done yet!” Hinata didn’t heed his words as he barrelled into Atsumu, nearly knocking the setter onto his butt as the spiker held onto him like a koala.

“Atsumu-san! Long time no see! I thought I went mad last time thinking I saw double and everything and… eh???? Osamu-san is here?!” Hinata yelped as Kita tried to calm him down.

“Hey boke! What the hell are you shouting for?” a voice yelled as a boy jogged up to them. The scowl on his face could rival that even of Ushijima Wakatoshi, his dark blue eyes piercing straight into Suna’s heart as the boy’s eyes travelled between the group.

“You guys… aren’t you alumni from the school? Atsumu-san, you’re a genius setter who quit in his third year and Suna-san, you’re a middle blocker who moved back to Tokyo in his third year. Kita-san, you were captain and Osamu-san… didn’t you die?” the boy finished as the group gaped at him. Suna didn’t think they would be that famous, Hinata reaching to club the boy over his head as he snapped, “Kageyama, don’t just go asking people if they’re dead!”

“I know he’s dead! They had an article about him not long ago! How can a ghost be here?”

“That’s not the point, Bakayama!”

“You two, calm down and I will explain,” Kita sighed as he began the long process of making the two boys calmly take in the situation. The two nodded, most of the time with their jaws dropped as Kita told them the story from the beginning until the end, leaving the two of them starry-eyed. Kageyama turned to give them a look before racing to Osamu, bowing into a low bow as he yelled, “Forgive me for my rudeness, Miya-san!”

“Don’t worry, and also, call me Osamu. I’m not the only Miya here,” Osamu said as Kageyama yelped, “Yes sir!”

“I thought you wanted to interview us Suna-san,” Hinata asked as Suna grinned, “I will interview you guys but first, how about a three on three game with us?”

“You kidding?! Getting to play with some of the best groups ever to come to Inarizaki? Hell yeah!” Hinata yelled as Kita shushed him, “Come on now, let’s go in and get warmed up.” They stepped into the gym, Suna taking in the familiar smell of salonpas and polished flooring. All these years, it still hasn’t changed. If he were to close his eyes, he could almost imagine them sitting in a circle doing their stretching, Kita shooting looks at the twins as they bickered while Suna rolled his eyes, trying not to focus on Osamu’s thighs. Atsumu would then try to apologise to Kita to in turn reprimanded him, making the setter swoon internally as Aran groaned.

Once they were done with stretching, Suna finally stepped onto the court for the first time in years properly. The sound of his shoes squeaking against the floor brought him back to his teenage days where all of them would be standing in a line in front of the net, getting ready to defeat their opponents. Now, Hinata and Kageyama stood at as pair on the other side, Kita on their team as Atsumu whined at how Kita was supposed to be on his team.

Kageyama gave the first serve, throwing in a quick jump serve as Suna grinned. The boy was already blooming with talent at such a young age; his body moved on instinct to get the ball. Atsumu set the ball high as Osamu spiked it, the twin yelling out with joy as Kita received the ball. The former captain gave a feral grin as the ball went up, Kageyama setting the ball to Hinata. As the boy took flight, Suna could almost see black wings sprouting from his back, making him look like a crow in flight as he rose to meet it, his fingers stretched out to form a block as Hinata yelled, “Here!”

The ball smashed through his fingers, sending familiar tingles down Suna’s spine as the ball smashed onto the other side. Hinata let out a whine of both protest and awe, leaping up and down at how pissed he was that their freak quick didn’t work and also how Suna’s block was so cool. Suna held his hand up into the light, seeing the red slowly spreading across the palm of his hand before gripping it into a fist and letting out a yell of triumph.

Its been too long since he felt the joy of his hand stinging.

“You still have it in you, Sunarin!” Atsumu grinned as he clapped the middle blocker on the back.

“You’re still pretty good yourself.”

“Well duh. I won the best setter award for both junior high and high school,” Atsumu grinned as his brother ruffled his hair, “You’re still an idiot though.”

“Come on, let’s go to the next round’ Hinata yelped as he and his team got ready. Kageyama gave a feral smile as Suna got ready to serve, the look in his eyes reminding him of the days when Inarizaki High were the champions on the court.

Who needs memories when they could be in the present right now?

…

“Wow, that was such a workout!” Atsumu groaned as they sat on a bench in the school grounds. Hinata and Kageyama were still practicing tosses and spikes in the gym after the adults had claimed to be too tired to go on after two hours of playing. Even Atsumu, the guy who would spend hours serving and tossing on his own was now beat, a bottle of chilled tea in his hand as he took a swig from it.

“I didn’t expect age to catch up on us.”

“We’re only 24! We’re not that old!” Atsumu whined as Kita sighed, “I’m 25.”

“Just a year older.”

“Its still older.”

“You still look good though, Kita-san!” Atsumu blurted as Kita have a low chuckle. The setter blubbered as Suna thought how hopeless he was with Kita when he saw Osamu staring at the cherry blossoms lining the school grounds, their flowers slowly fluttering to the ground. The season was nearly over and the cherry blossoms were now falling to the earth. Already half of the tree was devoid of the pink flowers, most of them scattered on the ground.

“You had fun?” Suna asked as Osamu smiled, “Yeah, been so long since I played like this.”

“You still haven’t lost your touch.” Osamu giggled at that as he tucked a stray hair behind his ear, taking in a breath as he smiled, “Thanks for setting this up for me.”

“I got the interview and a workout. All good in the end.”

“Speaking of which, when are you going to return to your job?” Suna gulped as he thought of the ticket he had bought waiting in his bag. He hadn’t told the group he was due to leave the next day, not wanting them to say goodbye to him. He could bear the thought of having to part with Osamu for good. He knew time was running out but he didn’t want to admit that.

“Hey, Rin. Remember when we were supposed to meet under the cherry blossoms last time?” Osamu whispered as Suna nodded. How could he ever forget that?

“Let’s meet under it one day. Surely, this time. I will tell you what I wanted to say.” Suna felt his heart melt at the words as he gritted his teeth, wanting to tell Osamu what he was going to do but he couldn’t.

He was such a coward for running away like that all the time.

The next day, he found himself putting away his clothes and throwing on his jacket, walking out of the still quiet house early in the morning. The sun had yet to rise and he shivered in his coat, wishing he could warm himself up when he saw Atsumu’s car waiting at the front. Atsumu leaned against the side of the car, his arms crossed with a crooked grin on his face.

“Need a ride?” he asked as Suna got in, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get away from the fox as they drove to the train station.

“So, why did you leave without telling Samu about your promise?”

“I don’t want to break his heart anymore.”

“Come on, he’s dead. As if you can break his heart anymore.”

“That’s not the point,” Suna sighed as he continued, “I don’t know if I can live knowing that I had the chance to be with Osamu but because of fate, we couldn’t be together.” Atsumu clicked his tongue as he pulled up in front of the train station, swivelling his head to look at Suna as he sighed, “Sunarin. You only have one chance to be with my brother, ok? Don’t be an idiot like in those sappy J dramas and decide to hold it off until the last minute. Man up and tell him you love him.”

_He wanted to. He wanted to tell him so badly._

‘Shouldn’t you take your own advice and ask Kita-san out?” Suna countered as Atsumu turned a few shades redder, “I just met him after seven years of not seeing him! I don’t even know if I can even ask him something like that!”

“Its Kita-san. He would accept you. He’s been waiting seven years for you after all.” That caused Atsumu to gape as Suna chuckled, “Come on. Everyone knew you two had the worse crushes on each other.”

“What?!” Atsumu yelped as Suna reached to open the car door, not wanting to have to deal with Atsumu telling him what to do. He grabbed his baggage from the trunk before walking into the station, reaching to show his boarding ticket to the train conductor when Atsumu yelled.

“Hey, Sunarin! Be a man and tell my bro before its too late!” Suna turned away as he stepped onto the train, trying to stop the tears from falling as the doors shut behind him and began to whisk him away to Tokyo.

He wasn’t the main character in a movie who gets a happy ending.

His story was a tragedy, and he didn’t ever think he could be happy again.

…

  
“Gah! What the hell is with that guy? Sheesh, he should just confess to him already dammit! Not all the time you get to confess to a dead guy,” Atsumu murmured as he got back into his car and warmed up his hands. He leaned in his seat as he thought of how Suna and Osamu’s story was so tragic, giving them a second in life only for them to be parted. He knew Osamu wouldn’t be around much longer as much as he hated it.

That leaves him with his own relationship problems,

“What the hell is wrong with me?! The super setter, best setter in the nation and a doctor to boot scared to ask out my former captain?! What the hell!” Atsumu groaned as he slammed his head onto the car horn, his car letting out a loud honking sound as the station master yelled for him to keep quiet. Atsumu quickly apologised, reaching to the steering wheel when he heard his phone going off. As he lifted his phone, he was shocked to see the number of the hospital his mother was admitted into, his finger pressing the answer button as he said, “Miya Atsumu speaking.”

“Good morning, Miya-san. I’m sorry but your mother isn’t doing well..."


	15. Complete

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're coming to the end of this fic guys! Wow, three more chapters and this is done. I wrote the final chapter after reading chapter 402 so got all the feels packed up in there from the final chapter if you get what I mean.
> 
> Going to write more notes on this chapter at the end since I don't want to spoil you guys so for now, enjoy.

Atsumu clenched and unclenched his fingers as he stood in front of the room. The nurse beside him stood patiently, allowing him to collect his thoughts before he nodded and put a hand on the door. Even though he should have been used to seeing dying patients now, he could never forget the feeling of not being able to save a life.

Especially when it was his own mother.

Losing the will to live or shutting down of internal organs. His mother had endured living in an illusion for the past few years and would never recover if she ever returned home. He knew he couldn’t do anything about it but yet, he still wished he could somehow save her.

“Narumi-san, your son, Atsumu is here to see you,” the nurse announced as Atsumu sucked in a breath. His mother looked so fragile and pale, all skin and bones as she laid on the pillows. The windows were open to allow a breeze into the room, sunlight hitting her face as she turned to look at Atsumu. Her eyes were dull, having lost their lively brown colour that the twins had inherited, instead replaced by sadness.

Next to her sat none other than Miya Suzuki, the older man holding onto his wife’s hand. This was the first time Atsumu had seen his father so uncomposed; even during Osamu’s death, he did not shed a single tear. Now, his face was streaked with old tear tracks, his grip on his wife’s hand hard.

Atsumu wanted to question him why he suddenly decided to come and visit after so long but he decided to leave it for another time. Instead, he took up residence on his mother’s left-hand side, slowly reaching to take her hand as he flinched on how cold it felt.

“Mum?” he whispered as his mother smiled, “Atsumu. Is it you?”

“Yes, mum. It's me. Atsumu.” The woman smiled as she reached out to cup her son’s cheek, stroking it as she smiled, “Aw, you look so handsome now.” Atsumu tried to hide back the tears as his father turned to look at him. The older man’s lip trembled as he bowed his head in shame.

“She said she saw Osamu and that he’s alive. I wanted to tell her that she was hallucinating but I… I just can’t send her off with the pain and sadness of his death.”

_“Eh? You don’t want to go to Tokyo and see mother?”_

_“I have already seen her and paid my respects. Besides, it won’t do anyone any good if two Miya’s showed up and cause confusion. I will be seeing her soon anyway,” Osamu had smiled sadly._

“Osamu, Atsumu, I missed you two boys so much. You’ve grown up to be such fine young men. I’m so proud of you,” she smiled as Atsumu brought her hand to his cheek. Memories of her holding onto him when they were small children, reading them to sleep or kissing them goodnight played in the back of his mind as he tried not to cry.

“I missed you too.”

Why? Why of all times did he decide to come and see her? He had seven long years to visit her every day and yet, he chose to hide away behind his study books and not face the reality of his family being torn to pieces.

“Now I’m complete.” Already, Atsumu could see the lifelines of her heart getting lower and lower, her breathing getting more shallow as his mother stroked his cheek gently.

“Mum, please, I’m sorry. For everything. Don’t go. Don’t leave me as Samu did.”

“Don’t cry. Osamu won’t be lonely anymore,” she smiled as his heart staggered, “I know he’s gone. That’s why, mama is going to keep him company now.”

“What about me? I will be all alone.” Suzuki’s face pressed into a thin line as his wife chuckled, “You have your father and Shin-chan. You will be fine.” Kita-san. Would he even want a broken man like him who couldn’t protect his own family?

“Smile and live on. I love you two. So, so, much,” she whispered as her husband gave her a final kiss on the back of her hand, “Narumi, please, don’t go.”

“Take care of him, Suzuki,” she whispered as she turned to Atsumu one last time before smiling, “I love you boys so, so much.” Slowly, her eyes fluttered shut as the two doctors watch the life fade away from her body. Atsumu bowed his head as the low beeping sound of her heart going flat filled the air, her husband holding onto his wife’s now cold hand before breaking down into sobs. The two continued to sit there as nurses and doctors entered the room, slowly prying them away to examine her before taking her away.

As Atsumu watched his mother being wheeled away, he couldn’t help but think of how peaceful her expression was when she had passed.

“Atsumu,” his father rumbled as he held onto his son’s shoulder. Atsumu would normally flinch away from his touch but now, he leaned into his father’s hold as he began to sob, his body shaking as the tears finally began to flow out in waves.

He had already lost his mother. He didn’t want to lose his only brother too.

…

Osamu watched from the distance as the funeral procession took place. Even though he could go in disguise, he felt that he had somehow managed to make peace with his mother before she died anyways.

It didn’t stop him from hurting when he saw Atsumu and their father at the head of the procession, Kita in front of them as he chanted the funeral rights and led the procession towards the crematorium. Seeing Kita’s face in such serenity as he sent off the dead made Osamu feel somewhat better about his mother passing on.

After all, he would be seeing her soon enough.

Osamu shivered in his jacket as he watched the flowers above his head slowly diminishing in number. The cherry blossom season was coming to an end, less than 10% of the flowers on the trees remaining. Some of them had only started to bloom, some already threatening to fall down onto the earth. One of them fluttered into his open palm, Osamu taking in the smell of the flower as he felt someone moving next to him.

“What are you doing here, young man?” an elderly man asked as he stood next to him. Osamu didn’t think he had ever seen him during his time alive in Hyogo but he couldn’t shake off the feeling of having had seen him before.

“Just watching someone I love getting laid to rest.”

“Watching someone young die is never easy. I never did get over the deaths of my son and my daughter-in-law. They were so young and their young son left behind… at least the boy is living his life to the fullest now.” Osamu nodded as the old man looked up at the sky, his black and white hair tousled in the breeze as he smiled, “You know, young man. If you have the chance to tell the love of your life that you love them, even just once, do it. You may not get a second chance again. The gods have given you the chance to set things right; don’t waste it.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Let’s just say this old man was given the same chance as well. And I never regretted any moment of it. Even though it hurt to leave Yumie behind, I’m glad to have made peace with her.”

Numai. Wasn’t that the name of…

“Ojisan!” Osamu called out, turning to see that the old man had disappeared.

Crap. Suna had already left for Tokyo. How was he going to even confess to him now?

…

“Nice article you got here,” Iwaizumi smiled as Suna bowed to him. After not being in the office for nearly a month, getting back into the swing of things proved to be a bit difficult. He missed the quietness and tranquillity of being in Hyogo instead of the business of the city but he knew if he stayed there any longer, it would make things harder for him.

Just a day ago Atsumu had to send his mother off. He hadn’t gone to the funeral, knowing it might have hurt him and Atsumu more to be there but on the bright side, the blonde had Kita there with him. Suna hadn’t even gone to Osamu’s funeral when he died; as he had stood outside of the gates to the shrine, the only thing he could do was turn tail and run instead of facing the reality that his love laid dead in a casket, surrounded by white flowers that were supposed to mean peace and purity.

“Is everything all right? You looked troubled,” Iwaizumi asked as Suna bowed his head low, “Just life.”

“Is it something about the person you had gone back to Hyogo to chase?” Suna gaped at his words as Iwaizumi chuckled, “Akaashi was worried about you. I’m no love expert and have to deal with an idiot best friend my entire life but let me tell you this; you better sort things out before it’s too late.” Iwaizumi leaned back in his chair as he curled his fingers together, a small smile playing on his lips as his eyes fell on the picture on his desk. Oikawa had just gotten back from Argentina, a large smile on his face as Iwaizumi tried to push him off. Matsukawa and Hanamaki had taken the chance to snap a picture of them and even sent framed versions to the two, Iwaizumi scowling at how stupid he looked in there.

Deep down, that was the happiest moment of his life, seeing his best friend coming back home to his arms.

He took out a pair of tickets for the bullet train out of the drawer, Suna yelping as Iwaizumi smacked him on the head with the tickets. There was a playful grin on his face as he slapped Suna’s cheek lightly with the tickets, the numbers showing that he was due to leave that evening as Iwaizumi winked, “Go get him.”

Suna nearly choked on his tears as he bowed low, moving to grab his stuff and running out of the office at full speed. Akaashi watched him go with a smile on his face, his finger playing with the golden band sitting on his finger as he thought how lucky he was to have an idiot to even love.

_I hope you find your happiness, Suna. You deserve closer for that chapter in your life._

…

Atsumu sat in front of the altar in his home, his hand moving to tap on the bell on the side before clapping his hands together. He said a quick prayer as he bowed low when he felt movement next to him. he didn’t have to look up to see that it was Osamu, the older twin moving to do the same as he clapped his hands in prayer and bowed. The two twins remained in the same position for a while until Osamu broke the silence.

“It's weird to be praying to your own picture,” he muttered, Atsumu chuckling dryly as he looked at the altar. Before this, it was just Osamu’s picture on the altar but now, Narumi’s picture had joined it. Atsumu’s heart twisted as he thought of how his brother was going to have someone with him in the afterlife to take care of him; he must have been so lonely all this time.

“I still can’t believe she’s gone,” Atsumu whispered as his fists clenched the fabric of his pants. The funeral had been somewhat peaceful and even nice to a certain degree; not too many people came that it would have been overwhelming. Many of the hospital staff had come to pay their respects, having had loved her for her kindness and the number of times she would check on them when she visited Suzuki in the hospital. Even some of the twins’ old team had come to pay their respects, Atsumu having not seen some of them in years. It had almost hurt Osamu to see how much they had grown without him; everyone was living their lives now and he would never be able to grow into a man.

“Osamu, you have to leave soon don’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what. Don’t play dumb. I know you’re going to have to go back to wherever you ghosts come from after a certain time.” Osamu bit his lip as his younger brother slipped his hand into his to give him a squeeze, “I love you a lot, even though you’re a stupid bro. I want to be with you forever, grow old together, have a bunch of kids that look exactly like us.”

“That’s just gross.”

“What?! We’re handsome and our kids would be too!” Atsumu whined as Osamu chuckled. It almost reminded him of their squabbles on who was more good looking and better; of course, Osamu won since Atsumu was such an asshole.

“Seriously, you need to tell Suna you love him as well. Seeing your stupid crush still ongoing for seven years is making me wanna hurl. What is this, a soap opera?” Atsumu chuckled as he clapped Osamu on the back.

“The cherry blossoms ain’t gonna wait for you. Better get your ass there before its too late,” Atsumu grinned as he stood up, grabbing Osamu by the arm and pulled him into a hug for the last time. The younger Miya twin held back his tears as he held onto his older brother, not wanting to let him go forever but he knew he had a score to settle with Suna right now.

“Love you too, baka Tsumu,” Osamu whispered as he pecked his twin on the forehead, Atsumu smiling as his twin grabbed his shoes and sprinted down the road, watching as his figure disappeared into the setting sun.

“You really did send him off,” Kita mused as he walked in from the kitchen where he had been hiding the entire time. Atsumu shrugged as Kita got down to his knees, paying his respects to Narumi before Atsumu asked, “Kita-san, I know its stupid to ask you such a thing right now, but do you remember when I asked you to meet me under the cherry blossoms back in high school?” Kita smiled as he remembered the boy wanting to meet him but never did, although he always knew his intentions.

“I like you, Kita-san. I liked you since I first stepped into the gym and saw you flying through the sky. I want to be by your side forever, so, if you will, please be my boyfriend.”

Kita flung himself against Atsumu, hugging the younger boy tightly as he smiled, reaching to cup Atsumu’s cheek as he smiled, “Yes, you idiot. I’ve been waiting seven years for this. Although I don’t know if its appropriate to be asking that in front of your mum’s altar.”

“I think she will approve,” he grinned as he pulled Kita into a kiss, the two of them finally reconnecting the red string that had been severed seven years ago.

_You better get your own happy ending, Osamu. You got it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda modelled the whole Narumi passing away scene from Star Wars the Clone Wars where Anakin had to send off his mother (don't ask me why but the words just came flowing into my head as I wrote and damn, that scene hurt like a bitch even until now). I felt that even if Narumi lived, she wouldn't be able to go back to her old life and plus, Osamu could use some company up above. 
> 
> Yay, AtsuKita got together and Suna and Osamu are rushing to meet each other. Will they be able to reconcile?
> 
> Find out in the next chapter: out on Thursday.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts and feelings on this story! Life has been an epic bitch for the past month and I swear its a miracle I haven't popped several veins in my head. I'm pretty sure I had at least 20 years of my life shaved off from the amount of stress I had.
> 
> Question : Does anyone want to take a guess who the old man Osamu talking to was? Fufufu I leave you guys to ponder about it.


	16. I love you. Even after seven years, I still do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at the final leg of this story guys! Wow, I can't believe we made it this far after all the shit from real life that just knocked the daylights out of me and left me unable to write. Thank you for sticking to this story for so long and I hope you enjoy the last two chapters of this story!
> 
> I'm including the soundtrack that inspired me to even write this and its from the drama that inspired this fic "I am still seventeen years old". Its a really beautiful drama and the music is just amazing. I would recommend you to listen to it after reading this chapter or you could listen to it whilst reading. Just that it will have some spoilers on what will happen in this chapter.
> 
> Here is the link to the song : [Ost. Boku dake ga 17-sai no sekai de [70億にただ1つの奇跡 - ACE COLLECTION](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmvbSOLjnUc)
> 
> Enjoy!

Suna tore out of the gates to the train station, shoving his way pst the steel gates as he ran up the hill. It was a good few kilometres to the chery blossoms from there and there were no taxis in sight. He scowled as he continued to run up the hill, already feeling his lungs ready to burst as he ran for his life.

One more chance.

One more chance was all he needed to hear the words straight from Osamu’s mouth.

He passed by the Hinata family’s shop, Kageyama and Hinata inside as they tried to fight each other with flour. The two of them were in their own little world, laughing and giggling as Kageyama playfully bobbed Hinata’s nose with flour, the smaller boy reaching to give him a peck on the cheek as Kageyama turned cherry red. Suna turned his gaze away, moving to continue his ascent as he saw the sights around him that brought back so many memories of his precious two years with Osamu.

The dango shop they always frequented after school was still there, the shop lady giving him a wave as he passed. He remembered how they would make their way down after a good game to have a good dango, Osamu and Atsumu always squabbling on who could stuff more dango into each other’s mouths. One time Osamu had choked so badly that they nearly had to call an ambulance, the shop woman chiding at them to not cause such a ruckus as Suna giggled.

He passed by the road he would always take to school with Osamu. The older twin would sneak out of the house, not wanting to deal with a whining Atsumu early in the morning to walk with Suna. The two of them would walk in quiet comfortable silence, Suna preferring to take in Osamu’s presence next to him as they walked. Osamu would look ahead most of the time, his Inarizaki jacket wrapped around his body as he shivered in the cold during the cold months.

He passed by the house where he had stayed in when he was in Hyogo. Now, the house was all but empty, devoid of the people who used to live there after his grandparents passed away. Osamu would sometimes throw rocks at his window to get his attention in the middle of the night, dragging him out for a random stargazing session that the Tokyo boy came to love. Tokyo was nothing compared to the countryside, the stars twinkling above his head every time he stepped into the cool night.

He passed by the school gates, remembering how he had first met the twins on the first day of school. His parents had gone to park the car, leaving him to explore a little bit of his new surroundings. At that time, he had only wished to go back to his friends in Tokyo instead of hanging around with some country bumpkins but when he saw Osamu and Atsumu for the first time, he felt his heart twinge at the sight of them.

Perhaps the moment when he saw Osamu smile for the first time when flying to spike the ball was the first time he properly fell in love with the grey-haired boy.

Memories of them jogging up the school hill, Suna watching the twins rush up leaving the rest of them in the dust as they tried to compete on who was faster. Kita would often yell at them to slow down while Aran look on with quiet despair, Suna sighing at how moronic the two of them were as they yelled at the top of their lungs all the way up the slope. It was a miracle they never died of a heart attack from the amount of energy they exerted every time they ran.

His heart pounded like crazy, his legs ready to fall off as he stumbled in his steps. He nearly banged into a lamppost as he held himself for breath, his breathing shaky as he slammed a fist into his thighs. For crying out loud, he was a member of the Inarizaki volleyball team, one of the best teams in the entire nation! He could have gone to the V league if he wished.

He wasn’t going to let a stupid hill and a run kill him off just like that.

“Come on!” he yelled as he continued his sprint up, ignoring some of the stares of passerby as he ran. He was pretty sure that he looked like a sorry mess right now, his hair coated with sweat and his jacket askew. He could feel it slipping off his shoulder, Suna reaching to yank it back on as it fluttered behind him like a cape. His cheeks burned and his heart raced as he felt the cold stinging against him, his body felt so hot that he could melt.

To hell with all of that.

He finally reached the road that he would take sometimes to sit at the cherry blossom tree, the town stretching out before his eyes as he walked. Whenever he needed time to think, he would always take this road and take in the sight before his eyes, revelling at the sight of Hyogo and how beautiful it was as the sun rose from the distance.

The cherry blossoms had nearly all but fallen now. Suna gasped as he finally slammed into the tree, holding onto the trunk for support as he panted. He wheezed as his knees wobbled, nearly buckling to the ground as he supported himself. He knew that once he got to the ground, he would not get back to his feet anytime soon. He looked up at the now nearly bare tree, his heart pounding in both fera and anticipation.

Had he made it in time?

Was Osamu still here?

Could he finally tell him that he loved him?

“Rintarou!” a voice yelled as Suna whipped his head to see a clearly dishevelled Osamu, the boy panting as Suna smiled.

He made it. He really did make it.

…

Osamu let out a yell of frustration as he sped up the hill. Dammit, he was still seventeen so why the hell was the hill making him so tired out? He had plenty of races with Atsumu that he should have no problem running. Was it the fear that he couldn’t see Suna in time or was it him getting old?

“Screw this!” he yelled as he barrelled up the hill, ignoring the stares of people nearby as he ran. He was the best wing spiker in Inarizaki, twin brother of the annoying Miya Atsumu, he was not about to let a freaking hill conquer him.

_“I will go first!” Osamu yelled as Atsumu shouted, “Shut up! I’m faster!”_

_“You two, please stop yelling,” Kita groaned as Aran facepalmed himself. Suna would pretend to look uninterested but Osamu knew that Suna did enjoy how they often goofed about during training. He loved to see the few times that Suna’s normally stoic face would break into a smile or slight blush. He was even happier to know that he was the one to be able to pull out those smiles as he wished._

_“Hey, are you ever going to confess to Sunarin?” Atsumu asked as Osamu nearly spat out his water._

_“Shut yer trap! We’re in training!”_

_“What? Can’t go telling your crush about it now?” Atsumu wiggled his brows as Osamu dumped his entire water bottle on his head. The younger twin yelled as he tried to dry his hair, the coach shouting for them to shut up and get back to training as Osamu heard a faint giggle. He looked up to see Suna trying to suppress a snicker but failing miserably, his sides shaking as he looked up. Osamu thought he would have melted there and then when he saw how cute he looked, his brown eyes crinkling with joy and the smile on his face so kissable._

_“Hey, Sunarin. Meet me at the cherry blossoms at 5 pm after school today. I have something to tell you.”_

He will tell him now.

He will definitely tell him.

He had waited seven long years, after all, caused him so much pain.

He was going to make things right.

Osamu rounded the corner onto the road that the cherry blossoms were. The town stretched out before him, the sun slowly dipping in the horizon as his heart hammered against his chest. His fingers were slicked with sweat and he felt his heart was going to fall out of his chest.

Suna was waiting for him. He must be waiting for him.

“Rintarou!” Osamu yelled as he finally reached the tree, the branches now almost devoid of flowers. He panted as he took a shaky breath, opening his eyes to see Suna standing underneath the cherry blossom tree just like he said he would.

Exactly seven years later, they can finally tell each other what they feel.

“You came. You really came,” Osamu smiled, his smile wobbly as Suna grinned, “Of course. I’ve been waiting seven years after all.”

Osamu slowly stepped forward as he reached to take Suna’s hands into his. He didn’t care if they were cold as he held onto them, looking into Suna’s eyes. The wind picked up around them as the fallen cherry blossoms swirled around them, the pink hue on Suna’s face making him beam as he said.

“I love you, Sunarin. I loved you for two years and seven years later, I still love you. Even if I may be seventeen forever, I promise to find you in the next life.”

Suna smiled, his eyes tearing as he nodded. Stray tears began to fall from his eyes as he sobbed, looking up into Osamu eyes as he smiled, “I love you too, you stupid fox.” That was enough for Osamu to reach out and pull Suna against him, his lips crashing against his as they kissed. He felt so soft, his lips tasting of spring and cherry blossoms as Osamu smiled. He could already feel his body getting lighter as the cherry blossoms swirled around him. He hugged Suna tighter as he held onto him for the last time, feeling his body slowly leaving the earth as he whispered.

“Thank you for loving me, Suna. One day, I will find you once more.”

Osamu continued to look into Suna’s eyes as he felt himself get whisked away, watching as Suna slowly looked up to see that he was no longer there. The former middle blocker fell to his knees as he sobbed, gripping onto his shoulders as he tried to call out for Osamu in vain. Osamu tried to stop himself from crying when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulders and a familiar voice speaking to him, his body slowly growing lighter as the light shone around him.

“Let’s go home, Osamu.”

He was really home. He was home.

In Suna’s heart.

…

Suna choked as he held onto Osamu for the last time, his boy shaking as he tried to keep his eyes open. This was it, this was really it. They were finally going to be separated for good.

“I love you, Sunarin. I loved you for two years and seven years later, I still love you. Even if I may be seventeen forever, I promise to find you in the next life.”

_I love you too idiot. I love you too._ He thought as he kissed him, letting himself get washed away as he felt Osamu slowly drifting away. He curled his fingers through his hair, trying to stop him from leaving just like he did all those years ago when he looked into Osamu’s eyes. They remained open, never looking away from him as the cherry blossoms surrounded them, blocking Osamu from view as Suna cried out, “Don’t leave me, Samu!” He cried out as the wind grew stronger, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut as he cried.

When he finally opened them, Osamu was gone, not a trace of him left. Suna slowly crumpled to the ground, the energy leaving his body as he sobbed. His body hurt from his broken heart, his hands shaking as he pressed them into his eyes. He couldn’t stop himself from crying until he opened his hand, a single cherry blossom petal sitting on it as he heard Osamu’s voice filling his mind. He swore he could even feel the touch of his hand on his cheek as he leaned against his forehead, his breath mingling with his as he whispered the words one last time.

“I will always love you.”

Suna broke down as he held onto the petal, glad that after seven long years, he was finally able to say his goodbyes to the boy he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this chapter was good for you guys! I kinda wanted them to have their moment where they had their fun and reunite before confessing and Osamu leaves. Even though they cannot be together, at least they know that they love each other so yeah... sorry if it gave bad feels guys!!! I suck at bringing happy endings (maybe I'm a sadist fufu).
> 
> Next up would be the epilogue, which will be live on Saturday!


	17. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last, this story has come to an end. Its been a rollercoaster ride of a fanfic and while there were ups and downs writing this, I'm glad to have finished it on a good note and I hoped you guys enjoyed reading this too.
> 
> I wrote this right after I read chapter 402 so the feels were real and raw in here.
> 
> Enjoy the last chapter of Can't say goodbye. Still drifting in your echoes!

**Several years later…**

The Ariake stadium was filled to the brim, Suna picking his way through the crowd as he tried not to get his camera smashed by the crowd. He held onto the precious equipment for dear life, letting out a few muttered ‘excuse me’s as he finally squeezed into the stadium and looked out at the court before his eyes.

The orange court shone in its eternal glory. The lights shone brightly above their heads, the bleachers packed with people supporting their teams. Signs from across the globe were being shoved in the air, people chanting their national anthems, although most of the crowd consisted of the Japanese flag and the Argentinian flag. Suna smiled as he snapped a picture of the sight, his heart swelling with joy and pride as he watched the teams walk out of the locker rooms, their chests puffed out with pride as they walked.

Hinata and Kageyama led the group, Ushijima and Sakusa trailing behind them as the freak duo smiled at the crowd. At the young ages of 20 and 19, they have managed to make it on the national team, a part of the current monster generation. The crowd screamed their names as Hinata beamed at the crowd, Bokuto letting out hoots of laughter and pointing finger guns at the crowd. Men and women alike swooned at his actions, Suna giggling as Bokuto turned his head to see his husband seated in the crowd.

“Keiji!! I love you!” he yelled as Akaash turned a bright red. No, he shouldn’t be called Akaashi anymore but old habits died hard after all. Bokuto Keiji grinned as he raised the Fukurodani banner in the air, wearing his husband's jersey proudly with the number 4 on it as Bokuto blew him a kiss.

“Hey, whatcha doing here? Aren’t you supposed to get to your seat?’ a familiar voice called as an arm was slung around his neck. Atsumu smirked as he posed for the cameras, some girls recognising him from his high school glory days as Suna tried to shove him off.

“Come on, don’t you have work to do?”

“What! I’m trying to greet an old friend,” Atsumu clicked his tongue, although his gaze was soft as he looked out at the crowd. Suna didn’t have to look far to see Kita seated near Akaashi, the man wearing the Japan team shirt proudly with an Inarizaki banner held out. Aran was waving at him from the court, Kita beaming as he raised the banner high in the air. Nearby, another group held the Shiratorizawa banner high up while Iwaizumi himself was wearing his old Seijoh jersey and hollering his fiance’s name. Oikawa kissed at his direction as he followed his team onto the court, the smile on his face enough to slice the air.

“I wonder. Would Samu love to see this sight?” Atsumu wondered aloud, his voice wistful as Suna chuckled, “I’m sure he would.”

If things had turned out differently, Suna could almost see himself on the court, Atsumu by his side while Osamu looked at them from the bleachers. He would be smiling and screaming their names with Kita, their faces filled with pride as their other halves played on the court.

“Gotta go. Have fun watching the game. We’re so gonna smash the Argentinian team,” Atsumu winked as he walked out onto the crowd, greeting a man with a very bad bedhead from the Volleyball association. Suna quickly made his way to his seat, squeezing past the crowd to plop down next to a very fidgety Akaashi and a very happy looking Kita.

“You made it!” Kita grinned as Akaashi clapped his back. Suna quickly too his place before setting out his various writing equipment. This was going to be a torture, having to write about the game and watching it at the same time. He was going to have to interview the players after this as well, although it would be relatively easy since he practically knew most of them from high school.

“Suna-san! Kita-san!” Hinata yelled from the court as the two men gave him a wave. The small orange head grinned as he bounced up and down, Kageyama yelling for him to control himself as he dragged him for the warm-up. Ushijima sighed as he gave the team a pep talk, their coach nodding his head with a smile as they finally took their places opposite the net, waiting as their opponents did the same. A line of monsters now stood on either side of the court, the smiles on their faces indicating one thing and one thing only.

They were going to win this game.

“Let’s have a good game!” they yelled as the crowd went wild, the various bands playing their songs as Suna felt his heart race. The adrenaline of the game, the rush of energy when he heard the band playing to their tune, he loved every second of it.

First serve was from Kageyama. The boy tossed the ball into the air, smashing it down onto the other side of the court to score a service ace. The Japan supporters went wild as they clapped, Kageyama pumping a fist in the air as he got ready to serve once more. The game continued, the ball passing from one side to another with rapid speed. Numerous times, Suna found himself almost losing his soul to the anxiety of where the ball was going to land, the only thing shaking him out of his reverie was when the whistle blew.

Japan was in the lead. Hinata was up to serve, the small spiker grinning as he tossed the ball into the air and spiked it from across the court. The opposing libero bumped it up, sending it over to their setter as he tosses it into the air for their spiker. The player gave a yell as he spiked, the ball rocketing over to the other side as Komori Motoya snatched it up, calling out to Kageyama as the ball soared through the sky.

_Before his eyes, it blocks his path. A high high wall. What sort of scene is on the other side? What would he be able to see there?_

“Hinata!’ Kageyama yelled as the ball was sent into the air. The spiker rose to meet it, the ball curving high into the sky. Suna almost saw wings sprouting from Hinata’s back as he flew, his grin wide as he drew his arm back.

_The view from the top._

The ball smashed onto the other side of the court, the crowd going wild as Japan took their first win in several decades. Kageyama raised Hinata into the air as he hugged him tightly, bringing him down for a kiss as the crowd screamed their name. Their teammates hoisted them into the air, tossing the two boys up and down as Japan sang their praises. Akaashi was quietly sobbing as his husband gave him a thumbs up, Suna knowing that he would jump down to meet him if he could. Oikawa was smiling at Iwaizumi, both of them sending fist bumps at one another as Suna looked up into the sky.

_It was a scenery Suna would have never been able to see on his own. But… if h wasn’t alone, then…_

With the friends around him, with the people who joined him in the cause of loving volleyball, he had never felt so surrounded his entire life.

_He might be able to see that scene._

“Are you having fun, Suna?’ Osamu whispered in his ear as Suna smiled, reaching to touch the ghost of the hand of the boy he loved and will always love until the end of time.

Even if he wasn’t there with him, Osamu would always be with him in his heart.

“Yes, I am, Osamu.”

…

**In an alternate reality…**

Volleyball.

Haikyuu.

Two teams separated by a net bounce a ball back and forth between each other.

The ball is not allowed to touch the floor.

It cannot be carried.

Once it is in the air, a team has no more than three touches to connect and take the ball from receive to attack.

Suna smiles as he blocks the ball onto the court, the enemy team barely managing to get the ball. The ball rises into the air once more, Suna rising to meet it as it was smashed against his fingers. He didn’t panic though, he knew he had teammates he could count on the court that would protect his back.

Yaku bumps the ball into the air with a yell, Kageyama rising to set the ball as it flew into the sky. Hinata gives a feral grin as he spikes it onto the court, the ball slamming hard onto the other side as the crowd goes wild, cheering as Japan secures their very first Olympic gold medal in several decades.

Suna was nearly overcome by tears as Aran and Atsumu tackle him into a hug. Hinata and Kageyama moving to give each other a hug and kiss as the crowd went wild. Sakusa was visibly shuddering at the sight of public affection as Atsumu yanked him in for the group huddle, Bokuto joining in the fray as they all yelled in happiness.

They won. They freaking won!

“Rin!” a voice yelled out as Suna turned to see Osamu standing outside the court. Suna disentangled himself from the group as he ran towards his boyfriend, not stopping even as the cameras rolled and captured the moment he slammed into Osamu and planted a big kiss on his lips. The crowd went crazy as they kissed, Atsumu shouting at them to get a room before getting tackled to the ground by a very teary Kita. Suna laughed as Osamu carried him into the air, not caring if his sweat-soaked through the material of his Onigiri Miya shirt.

He smelled of rice and love.

“You did it, Rin. You conquered the damn court!” Osamu smiled as Suna beamed, “Of course I did. I have you.” Suna giggled as Osamu pulled his head against his, his breath mingling with his as he smiled against him.

“I love you so much, Sunarin. You give me all the love I needed in my life. Even if we have to apart most of the time, we will always be meant for each other. Which is why…” Suna choked as Osamu got onto one knee, pulling out a small velvet box from his pocket and opening it to reveal a simple golden band with their names written on it. Suna had begun to sob as Osamu smiled, the proud onigiri seller smiling as he finished, “Be by my side forever. Marry me, Rintarou. And become a Miya.”

“Of course you idiot,” Suna sobbed as Osamu slipped the ring onto his hand. He didn’t bother with Atsumu and Kita’s cheers as they kissed once more, the crowd going wild as they stood in front of the whole world, telling them that they were officially together.

They overcame so many difficulties to stand here.

Suna Rintarou had found the love of his life. He wouldn’t dream of it any other way.

Who needs memories?

Who needs memories when they had each other?

“I love you, Miya Osamu.”

“Love you too, Miya Rintarou.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it to the end! Thanks so much for supporting this fic, it means so much to me when someone reads it and says they like it!
> 
> I just had to put in the alternate reality where they were together. I was screaming so hard at where Suna was on the court since he was missing in action in the manga (Suna??? Don't forget about him!!!). Well, at least he appears here and it sorta helps me feel better about not seeing him on the court in the manga.
> 
> Ave atque vale and until we meet again, sayonara.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I'm planning to update every few days, from about two to three times a week depending on how much writing I get done.
> 
> If you liked this story, hit the subscribe button to get the latest updates on the story!
> 
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated and welcomed! They really help motivate me and produce more work!!!
> 
> Come yell at me on Twitter or Tumblr @runningfromrealitytoanime.


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